Cries for help ignored

[Supersadmommy90]

It's really weird how people place all the impetus on you to stay alive for them, and then treat you however they want to treat you, without taking into consideration that you're mentally broken down. Nobody in my life cares what I think or feel, and I've had to accept after repeatedly crying for help, trying to be heard, trying to express myself, only to be ignored and mistreated. I'm supposed to stay alive for people who make my life not worth living. And if I ctb'd they would think it was all my fault and blame me 100%. After the fact people always say "I wish there was something I could have done" but they are only bullshitting and trying to comfort themselves and abdicate themselves of responsibility. They know why.

 

[welshie84]

I'm completely with you on everything you just said

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Seconded. It is hard for others to understand though and really listening is a skill few possess. But it's ironic that you have to be the strong one when you are at your weakest.

 

[welshie84]

Seconded. It is hard for others to understand though and really listening is a skill few possess. But it's ironic that you have to be the strong one when you are at your weakest.

Oh god yea. I'm seemingly the strongest in my family I'm one of 5 children. I'm second from the youngest. Yet when things go wrong they all run to me , take it out on me, blame me. Etc. I'm only ever spoken to like a decent human being when they want something from me. Not staying alive for them anymore I seen enough of this life

 

[Deleted member 1465]

"I look around for the friends I used to turn to, to pull me through/
Looking into their eyes I see them runnin' too"

 

[justanotherday]

It's really weird how people place all the impetus on you to stay alive for them, and then treat you however they want to treat you, without taking into consideration that you're mentally broken down. Nobody in my life cares what I think or feel, and I've had to accept after repeatedly crying for help, trying to be heard, trying to express myself, only to be ignored and mistreated. I'm supposed to stay alive for people who make my life not worth living. And if I ctb'd they would think it was all my fault and blame me 100%. After the fact people always say "I wish there was something I could have done" but they are only bullshitting and trying to comfort themselves and abdicate themselves of responsibility. They know why.

Agreed

 

[Sweet emotion]

It's really weird how people place all the impetus on you to stay alive for them, and then treat you however they want to treat you, without taking into consideration that you're mentally broken down. Nobody in my life cares what I think or feel, and I've had to accept after repeatedly crying for help, trying to be heard, trying to express myself, only to be ignored and mistreated. I'm supposed to stay alive for people who make my life not worth living. And if I ctb'd they would think it was all my fault and blame me 100%. After the fact people always say "I wish there was something I could have done" but they are only bullshitting and trying to comfort themselves and abdicate themselves of responsibility. They know why.

We are all here for you and we will listen to anything you have to say.nwe are kind if like a family. I'm so sorry your family treats you that way. Not showing love and support would make me want to go too. Especially if it was my family. If you ever want to talk I'll be here until I'm not....you know what I mean haha but private message me any time.

 

[Jean4]

I understand. Except I have no friends or family. There is nobody to ignore me lol. We are always here to vent to.

 

[Nem]

I understand. Except I have no friends or family. There is nobody to ignore me lol. We are always here to vent to.

Sorry to hear!!!! Omg that's actually easier to ctb I suppose, not that it should make a huge difference but a close friend would be devastated if I died but I have no choice but to end this shit hole
Peace/hugs

 

[Jean4]

Sorry to hear!!!! Omg that's actually easier to ctb I suppose, not that it should make a huge difference but a close friend would be devastated if I died but I have no choice but to end this shit hole
Peace/hugs

I tried recently and failed. I was found.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I just want to extend a hand to anyone here who needs to talk to someone. I'm a good listener and with the little time I have on this Earth I'd like to use it to make people feel better even if it's just a little bit. A lot of you have worked your way into my chilly little heart haha. So again if you need someone to talk to I'll be here until I'm gone. Lots of love.

I understand. Except I have no friends or family. There is nobody to ignore me lol. We are always here to vent to.

I love your quote by Jim Morrison. I'm a huge Mr. Mojorison fan. Since you have no friends or family consider me a friend. PM me whenever you want.

 

[hypo666]

I noticed when I became severely unwell with anxiety which ended in a hospital admission, how the support workers whose job it is to 'support me', most totally distanced themselves , I was not sleeping and pacing around the back garden of the care home. Yet again the police saved the day as when I decided to leave the unit as my anxiety was making me pace and pace and I couldn't stop moving ,the staff then called the cops, the police found me and took me to hospital,where I was offered a bed in the mental health unit.

I have a low opinion of myself and other people generally so it's no surprise to me how selfish human beings can be. My own parents dumped me in a care home when I first became mentally ill and retired to france. It's devastating I feel when you realise people who should be there for you aren't. I read articles in the paper all the time over people fighting over their parents assets. Thats what all this news about the elderly having to sell their homes and have to pay for their care, it all comes down to money not about the care the elder is recieving , the children want the money.

 

[MeltingHeart]

It's really weird how people place all the impetus on you to stay alive for them, and then treat you however they want to treat you, without taking into consideration that you're mentally broken down. Nobody in my life cares what I think or feel, and I've had to accept after repeatedly crying for help, trying to be heard, trying to express myself, only to be ignored and mistreated. I'm supposed to stay alive for people who make my life not worth living. And if I ctb'd they would think it was all my fault and blame me 100%. After the fact people always say "I wish there was something I could have done" but they are only bullshitting and trying to comfort themselves and abdicate themselves of responsibility. They know why.

yep-totally agree! sounds so similar to my situation! except some people in my life-would just say cant believe how selfish she is-always causing trouble-how can she cause all this inconvenience (that dealing with my death will no cause). feel like im damned if i do and damned if i dont. and another irony (not sure if this is correct usage of the word but whatevr) is that one person will repeatedly tell me i have a mental illness- i have never been in the mental health system and never been diagnosed with anything-but she states that ANYONE that feels suicidal MUST have a mental illness-which I totally disagree with (sometimes but not in all cases) and she acts like someone with wayyyy more mentall health issues than myself-sometimes i wonder if my own assertion of wanted to step out of life actually highlights their own quite sad, seemingly unfufilling lives (im talking about specific people here) that to be quite frank seem very miserable & utterly dram, and me openly expressing the logic of a life that cant be lived to its fullest for whatever reason has i feel left them quite exposed. Just realised alot of that prob doesnt make much sense unless u know the ins and outs of the situation I am in. but what you said really resonated

 

[Supersadmommy90]

yep-totally agree! sounds so similar to my situation! except some people in my life-would just say cant believe how selfish she is-always causing trouble-how can she cause all this inconvenience (that dealing with my death will no cause). feel like im damned if i do and damned if i dont. and another irony (not sure if this is correct usage of the word but whatevr) is that one person will repeatedly tell me i have a mental illness- i have never been in the mental health system and never been diagnosed with anything-but she states that ANYONE that feels suicidal MUST have a mental illness-which I totally disagree with (sometimes but not in all cases) and she acts like someone with wayyyy more mentall health issues than myself-sometimes i wonder if my own assertion of wanted to step out of life actually highlights their own quite sad, seemingly unfufilling lives (im talking about specific people here) that to be quite frank seem very miserable & utterly dram, and me openly expressing the logic of a life that cant be lived to its fullest for whatever reason has i feel left them quite exposed. Just realised alot of that prob doesnt make much sense unless u know the ins and outs of the situation I am in. but what you said really resonated

I actually feel that I am one of the sanest and most rational people I know in all honesty, although I'm by no means claiming to have led a perfect life or to have always acted rationally. I can see why people might judge me for having been a retarded teenager but actually, at this stage in my life, I feel l am rational and sane, and it is everyone around me for the most part whose neurosis and ill-will (and also on the part of society at large) is basically causing me to mentally suffer to an undue degree.

I noticed when I became severely unwell with anxiety which ended in a hospital admission, how the support workers whose job it is to 'support me', most totally distanced themselves , I was not sleeping and pacing around the back garden of the care home. Yet again the police saved the day as when I decided to leave the unit as my anxiety was making me pace and pace and I couldn't stop moving ,the staff then called the cops, the police found me and took me to hospital,where I was offered a bed in the mental health unit.

I have a low opinion of myself and other people generally so it's no surprise to me how selfish human beings can be. My own parents dumped me in a care home when I first became mentally ill and retired to france. It's devastating I feel when you realise people who should be there for you aren't. I read articles in the paper all the time over people fighting over their parents assets. Thats what all this news about the elderly having to sell their homes and have to pay for their care, it all comes down to money not about the care the elder is recieving , the children want the money.

I can see how being basically abandoned to an institution when you were at your weakest could fuck a person up. I can relate to being mistreated when I've been at my weakest. I've also seen my uncle try to screw my dad under for his portion of the inheritance and all his illegal activities along these lines were eventually brought to light only because my deceased aunt had specifically named my dad as co-executor and the money could not legally be released without his signature. Ironically the uncle in question died just over a year after trying to swindle his brothers and sisters out of money. He went to his grave alienated from the family and disgraced the way he deserved. Money is the root of all evil as they say.

 

[N00SE_MAN1A]

It's really weird how people place all the impetus on you to stay alive for them, and then treat you however they want to treat you, without taking into consideration that you're mentally broken down. Nobody in my life cares what I think or feel, and I've had to accept after repeatedly crying for help, trying to be heard, trying to express myself, only to be ignored and mistreated. I'm supposed to stay alive for people who make my life not worth living. And if I ctb'd they would think it was all my fault and blame me 100%. After the fact people always say "I wish there was something I could have done" but they are only bullshitting and trying to comfort themselves and abdicate themselves of responsibility. They know why.

I agree with this completely. It also make u feel guilty to ctb even though you shouldn't care abt what others think especially if their actual intent is not because they care about you.