KuriGohan&Kamehameha
想死不能 - 想活不能
- Nov 23, 2020
- 1,682
Was in the process of trying to explain to my boyfriend why people would want assisted suicide/dignitas type clinics and disabuse his idea that suicidality is always caused by a mental illness, when he asked me if I was going to CTB.
I said, "Not at the present time."
He replies, "But are you? Answer me."
I thought about it awhile and wondered if I should lie. I did not lie and gave him a truthful answer. Yes.
He came back with, "This is bad, and you know I have to do something. If you acted and I had knowledge that you were going to, I have a responsibility to do something and stop it or else I would get in trouble. If you care about me you wouldn't put me in that position where I could be punished. "
So I picked my next response very carefully," Well, what be done? "
"You need to talk to someone."
"And what will we talk about?" was my retort, followed by, "I've tried everything. What else can be done?"
"You tried that new medicine the other day, it helped for a few minutes right?" He says.
"I had a bad allergic reaction to it."
"Surely there must be other stimulants you can take. Even if there's not much now there will definitely be cures for chronic fatigue in the future because this website says 20% of people have improvements."
At this point I was getting frustrated hearing the same old things, but I told him that I had already tried every other class of stimulants, and they didn't work.
Then, I got told to "distract myself" and we tried to watch some film together but I fell asleep because chronic fatigue syndrome and doing any household chores prior in the day do not mix.
This world is a cruel joke. I do not want to be honest with anyone if they are just going to tell the same lies all of the time. Let me die already. The SN can't arrive fast enough.
I said, "Not at the present time."
He replies, "But are you? Answer me."
I thought about it awhile and wondered if I should lie. I did not lie and gave him a truthful answer. Yes.
He came back with, "This is bad, and you know I have to do something. If you acted and I had knowledge that you were going to, I have a responsibility to do something and stop it or else I would get in trouble. If you care about me you wouldn't put me in that position where I could be punished. "
So I picked my next response very carefully," Well, what be done? "
"You need to talk to someone."
"And what will we talk about?" was my retort, followed by, "I've tried everything. What else can be done?"
"You tried that new medicine the other day, it helped for a few minutes right?" He says.
"I had a bad allergic reaction to it."
"Surely there must be other stimulants you can take. Even if there's not much now there will definitely be cures for chronic fatigue in the future because this website says 20% of people have improvements."
At this point I was getting frustrated hearing the same old things, but I told him that I had already tried every other class of stimulants, and they didn't work.
Then, I got told to "distract myself" and we tried to watch some film together but I fell asleep because chronic fatigue syndrome and doing any household chores prior in the day do not mix.
This world is a cruel joke. I do not want to be honest with anyone if they are just going to tell the same lies all of the time. Let me die already. The SN can't arrive fast enough.
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