Method (Controversial) How to get cancer?

[Old]

I know it will suck, but how could I get cancer?

 

[Themogger]

Ain't no way bro

 

[Old]

Ain't no way bro

Yes, it's a crazy idea and almost seems like shitposting, but it is what it is. Not many options.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Ain't no way bro

My words exactly, thank you

 

[CantDoIt]

The methods of doing that still take years...my grandma smoked like a chimney for decades and died at 70 and it wasn't cancer...I get what you're getting at here but its one of those wishful thinking things.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Ain't no way bro

Lmao you're making my night with these replies.

OP, consider becoming a radiologist. They have access to certain equi - oh wait I can't tell you that. I know nothing.

 

[Themogger]

Lmao you're making my night with these replies.

OP, consider becoming a radiologist. They have access to certain equi - oh wait I can't tell you that. I know nothing.

You finna turn bro into the incredible hulk

 

[CantDoIt]

Lmao you're making my night with these replies.

OP, consider becoming a radiologist. They have access to certain equi - oh wait I can't tell you that. I know nothing.

Quick I need access to a half sphere of plutonium which I can use a fork to keep balanced over another half sphere and then I need to accidentally drop the two together

 

[Tesha]

Quick I need access to a half sphere of plutonium which I can use a fork to keep balanced over another half sphere and then I need to accidentally drop the two together

Do you have some kind of demon core fetish?

 

[Unspoken7612]

This is the second worst idea I have seen behind that person who thought they could walk into a nuclear test.

In fairness, depression makes us kinda dumb. But I'll be brutally honest, if you can neither make the effort to attempt one of the documented methods favoured on here, nor think of any of the methods that are widespread in popular culture, you are not in a position to kill yourself.

If I was to seriously attempt the question? In theory the best way would be to get a transplant, but nobody is actually gonna give you a cancer transplant.

Other options are extremely unreliable, and have other serious downsides too (long time, lots of pain, seriously damaging your health in a way that can't easily be reversed if you change your mind in the intervening years). But you'd want to start by smoking, going outside a lot whenever it is sunny without protection, and putting on as much weight as possible, including eating carcinogenic foods like red meat or anything burned (ideally, burned red meat). You could also become a radiologist, a nuclear technician, an astronaut, or flight crew - while they all have their radiation levels tested regularly, they will be exposed to more radiation than most people.

 

[Heartaches]

Idk. Your best bet might be to expose yourself to carcinogens, big and small. Genetic factors, environment and age should also be taken into account.

The thing is, even if you expose yourself to carcinogens constantly, it would probably take years to develop into a full blown illness, and even longer to result in death.

As a method, it's wildly unreliable and unpredictable, unless you already have a diagnosis.​

 

[brokeandbroken]

I know it will suck, but how could I get cancer?

You don't want cancer. You just don't. I watched way too many people with cancer live and die from it. There's far less brutal ways to die.

 

[CantDoIt]

Okay, let's not be too mean. I think we all want a passive sort of 'by chance' death and it's understandable to have these thoughts sometimes as we wouldn't have to think of ctb on our own, which is tough, and we also wouldn't be blamed and may instead be attended to.

 

[astr4]

OP, it's clear you are suffering and I think your desire to die is very valid despite the more lighthearted responses.

I personally started smoking cigarettes. I hate how they taste but at the end of the day it's a coping mechanism and it makes me feel nice knowing I'm approaching death with each puff.

 

[noname223]

I met someone at a party end of July. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer a few days afterwards. She is very close to dying currently and might die soon. She was completely healthy beforehand everyone thought.

It reminds how a German forum member who actually loved life died in an insanely fast way after being diagnosed with MS. Life is really unfair.

 

[anxiousguineapig]

You just can't reliably give yourself cancer; it requires a single cell to acquire all the right mutations. Some people, kids even, get cancer with zero risk factors. Others use tanning beds and smoke and still never do. Besides, cancer is hell and is not a guaranteed or even likely death depending on the type.

 

[Final_Choice]

Mostly up to chance, there's no good way to get cancer. Even if you have a bunch of radioactive materials you probably shouldn't have, it still won't do much, I've looked into it as a slow method that wouldn't bring suspicion but even with all the different radioactive things I have it is still negligible for the most part.

 

[Old]

This is the second worst idea I have seen behind that person who thought they could walk into a nuclear test.

In fairness, depression makes us kinda dumb. But I'll be brutally honest, if you can neither make the effort to attempt one of the documented methods favoured on here, nor think of any of the methods that are widespread in popular culture, you are not in a position to kill yourself.

If I was to seriously attempt the question? In theory the best way would be to get a transplant, but nobody is actually gonna give you a cancer transplant.

Other options are extremely unreliable, and have other serious downsides too (long time, lots of pain, seriously damaging your health in a way that can't easily be reversed if you change your mind in the intervening years). But you'd want to start by smoking, going outside a lot whenever it is sunny without protection, and putting on as much weight as possible, including eating carcinogenic foods like red meat or anything burned (ideally, burned red meat). You could also become a radiologist, a nuclear technician, an astronaut, or flight crew - while they all have their radiation levels tested regularly, they will be exposed to more radiation than most people.

The person who asked about the nuclear test... was also me.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

There are faster and less painful ways to go...