Contacted an SN seller today, I could have it by the end of this week

[AliceinNeverland]

I don't want to hurt the people around me but I just don't want to keep going anymore. I've never been so depressed and isolated in my life, I hate where I live and see no way out... I'll sleep on it tonight bc I just want to make a final decision on whether to ctb this week or not. I'm supposed to go back to school next week and I don't know how I'll cope in this state so it's now or never.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Remember, there's no rush OP, taking time to make this decision is rather important for yourself to conclude if it's the right one at this time or not. Good luck with everything going forward. It's hard to keep going day to day when things are as they are.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring having to suffer like that, but anyway best wishes.

 

[inaminute]

Remember.... If you hold the means to ctb you have power. At any moment you can choose to ingest your last drink. Some psych wards I've been on practiced positive risk taking, ie giving patients knives during "rehab cooking sessions". Having something as powerful as SN or anything analogous to it has always been the inspiration for my pseudonym - and I've been about since the days of ASH/ASM on Google groups. Either way I wish you well whichever you choose.

Ps CTB I believe is an acronym that was devised during the good old days of alt.suicide.holiday and alt.suicide.methods. yes I'm that old.