Constant pain, no going back now.

[frailcoffee]

Hello everyone,
This is my first time posting here. I've been browsing this forum for nearly two years after the death of my father. I'm not very good at writing and saying how I truly feel or what is wrong with me.It has been always difficult for me to do so, both verbally and online. Throughout my whole life being conscious, I never had anybody to share my miseries or to vent to and plead for help. It has always been difficult for me to form a proper connection with people including my parents. I always had a hard time communicating, I was always too quiet. Too scared and shy, thus becoming socially withdrawn during my teen years. I am lonely. I have no friends and I cannot burden my only family left with what I suffer with. I am slowly dying now, I don't eat at all anymore. I am anorexic, my body is in pain always, I can't walk for a long time anymore, I can't lift much, sometimes my chest is in so much pain and i feel like fainting. I think this will be the way I go. I am in so much pain mentally and physically.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be really painful what you are going through, it sounds like you've suffered a lot and to me it truly is such a cruel existence where there's all this suffering. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[Innereye]

Unfortunate. Seem to be in a deep state of learnt helplessness, on top of the physical melodies you're suffering from.

I will say that in the end no one can save us but ourselves but others can provide support.

 

[athiestjoe]

Welcome.

I am so very sorry to hear about all this tremendous physical and mental pain as well as all the suffering that you have. I wish I could take it away for you! You are more than welcome to vent all you want to here, people here are extremely thoughtful, caring and understanding.

WIth whatever you decide, I hope you find everything you are looking for and get peace & serenity.

 

[thenorthern]

Hello, sorry about everything you have gone through. Nothing but the best.

 

[justpathetic]

Hello everyone,
This is my first time posting here. I've been browsing this forum for nearly two years after the death of my father. I'm not very good at writing and saying how I truly feel or what is wrong with me.It has been always difficult for me to do so, both verbally and online. Throughout my whole life being conscious, I never had anybody to share my miseries or to vent to and plead for help. It has always been difficult for me to form a proper connection with people including my parents. I always had a hard time communicating, I was always too quiet. Too scared and shy, thus becoming socially withdrawn during my teen years. I am lonely. I have no friends and I cannot burden my only family left with what I suffer with. I am slowly dying now, I don't eat at all anymore. I am anorexic, my body is in pain always, I can't walk for a long time anymore, I can't lift much, sometimes my chest is in so much pain and i feel like fainting. I think this will be the way I go. I am in so much pain mentally and physically.

Welcome I'm new myself. I'm sorry about your dad. Maybe being here you can find a sense of friendship and community. I'm so sorry you feel like you have to starve. It must be so painful. If you need to vent or just chat to get your mind off of your pain for a bit we're here.

 

[sevennn]

Hello everyone,
This is my first time posting here. I've been browsing this forum for nearly two years after the death of my father. I'm not very good at writing and saying how I truly feel or what is wrong with me.It has been always difficult for me to do so, both verbally and online. Throughout my whole life being conscious, I never had anybody to share my miseries or to vent to and plead for help. It has always been difficult for me to form a proper connection with people including my parents. I always had a hard time communicating, I was always too quiet. Too scared and shy, thus becoming socially withdrawn during my teen years. I am lonely. I have no friends and I cannot burden my only family left with what I suffer with. I am slowly dying now, I don't eat at all anymore. I am anorexic, my body is in pain always, I can't walk for a long time anymore, I can't lift much, sometimes my chest is in so much pain and i feel like fainting. I think this will be the way I go. I am in so much pain mentally and physically.

we can talk. i feel exactly the same way you do. all of it. my dad died recently, and i'm the same as you shy, withdrawn, didn't form connections. i also struggled with anorexia in the past. it is very painful. i never shared with anyone either. and i feel like when i did. i didn't know how. and it was too late. you can vent in my messages. i'll listen hugs

 

[maniac116]

Hi & welcome to the forum!
I'm sorry for how you are feeling.
This is a very supportive community & I'm sure you'll find others who feel similarly to you.