Venting Constant emptiness

[SilentSadness]

In my life, there are low highs and lower lows but the main constant is a persistent feeling of emptiness in the background. It feels like a mix of wasting time, having too much time and nothing having any worth and I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Pro-lifers like to present cute fantasies of things getting better but I felt this way even on antidepressants. It doesn't even change if I am around other people and it seems so meaningless that I should be here.

 

[shalashaska]

In my life, there are low highs and lower lows but the main constant is a persistent feeling of emptiness in the background. It feels like a mix of wasting time, having too much time and nothing having any worth and I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Pro-lifers like to present cute fantasies of things getting better but I felt this way even on antidepressants. It doesn't even change if I am around other people and it seems so meaningless that I should be here.

I felt this. Even when I'm having a good time, the aftermath is just a persistant feeling of emptiness, like a hole has been punched through my chest that cannot be filled with anything. No amounts of drugs, sex, friends, or even actual love from another person could fill it. Kinda frustrating.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

In my life, there are low highs and lower lows but the main constant is a persistent feeling of emptiness in the background. It feels like a mix of wasting time, having too much time and nothing having any worth and I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Pro-lifers like to present cute fantasies of things getting better but I felt this way even on antidepressants. It doesn't even change if I am around other people and it seems so meaningless that I should be here.

I feel for you. Feeling of meaninglessness is one of the main reason why I want to CTB. I sometimes find joy in little things but I think it's just because I'm lucky. Pro-lifers might tell you it will get better for sure if you try hard enough but I don't think so. Sadly some people might be genuinely hopeless I think.
I hope you this is not the case for you and wish your feeling of emptiness were a bit eased.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that life certainly is something completely pointless that serves no purpose. All that we are destined for is to suffer, deteriorate and die, and to me it makes sense wishing to be free from something so useless and unnecessary as existing. I could never have any interest in existing here, existing is completely unappealing. Your feelings are very much understandable, and it's annoying when people say "it gets better". It's like they don't realise that the true problem lies in life itself, I certainly view those pro life people as being very delusional with how they glorify something so disgusting as life.

 

[Gaga786]

I'm very sorry that you have to endure that. It must be so difficult because I truly understand your position. Even the simplest tasks are painful at times, and I feel like: is it really worth doing it. Is it really worth living.I always feel fading onto the background throughout life. The worse part is that the emptiness that you are describing seems to be prevalent each day. It's like a predator has just latched onto you and slowly sucks the life out of you, while you could see everyone else, without the predator, excelling in life and having a sense of fulfilment. I wish you the best, take care of yourself since we know how much it hurts.