@LastFlowers I am really sorry about what happened to you in the hospital. I know it used to be more common in the past for patients to be coerced/forced into ECT, but my understanding is that that is not so common today. Consent is a big thing with ECT practitioners today. I can't prove it isn't still done today, and I believe your story—that's horrible. In any case, I'm glad you were able to avoid having it forced on you. I agree that one should ALWAYS require consent from a patient before a procedure like this is undergone.
I don't think the comparisons to lobotomy are fair, nor are the claims of "brain damage". (One of the proposed mechanisms of ECT's effectiveness, which apparently has been proven, is that it actually stimulates the growth of neurons, i.e. neurogenesis.) You said yourself that lobotomy is far worse; I would agree. And I don't think ECT is some kind of behavioral control, vegetable-producing, mind-wiping torture. There are some bad stories, but there are far more positive ones, it seems to me. It gives people their lives back.
No doubt, it's a very personal choice whether or not to go through with ECT, given the risks. I think it comes down to whether 1) one's life feels objectively hopeless, and the will to ctb has taken deep roots in one's mind, or 2) whether one still has a glint of hope that things could get better with the right treatment. For now, I'm still falling into the second camp. I haven't lost all hope yet. I know there are a lot of folks in this forum who have, and my heart truly goes out to them. I am not a pro-lifer and can understand the bottomless desperation many of you feel. Being on this forum has made me realize that my life is not objectively hopeless. As @hotelbeneathground said, this treatment may be more worthwhile for those with endogenous/biologically-based depression, which is what I feel I have. For me, it's worth the risk of short-term memory loss for the chance to be able to wake up and actually want to live life. I still believe it's possible for me. I have to.