Conditioned to be Hopeful?

[Hellonearth]

Are you conditioned to be hopeful? I know I am. I'm conditioned to believe that things will somehow work out no matter how much suffering I endure. That any rough patch is only temporary and that my life will eventually (inevitably) become meaningful. Perhaps a superior being or life itself somehow has my best interests at heart, that all my suffering has a meaning...

If I assess things logically, it's obvious my suffering has no meaning whatsoever, that my future is utterly broken no matter how hard I try and how brave I might be. Yet this childish notion is extremely persistent and is rarely subjected to the logical scrutiny most of my other ideas are. I can't force my mind to accept the blunt, ugly truth about my existence; that I'm only getting older, the experiences I wanted are closed to me forever and there are scars that just never heal.

It's both puzzling and frustrating that this part of me is impervious to reason. It's such a naive and narcissistic proposition, but it's been drummed into me from such a young age that there's nothing I can really do about it. I feel utter contempt for people who wholeheartedly embrace this, most of society that is. The fact of the matter is they haven't received a dose of reality strong enough to make them challenge this notion in any serious way.

In the end though, perhaps this sense of hopelessness is just too much for my psyche to bear, but I want nothing more than to accept it. I get so close to ending my suffering, and this false sense of hope pulls me back from the brink every time, only for the cycle to start all over again. Except the contrast between this delusion and reality only becomes more stark and painful over time.

 

[etherealspring]

yea ive had the "things will get better" mentality drilled into me for several years. im starting to lose hope

 

[prisonerofexistence]

At least you still have a sense of hope.

 

[Dopamine_Junkie44]

Are you conditioned to be hopeful? I know I am. I'm conditioned to believe that things will somehow work out no matter how much suffering I endure. That any rough patch is only temporary and that my life will eventually (inevitably) become meaningful. Perhaps a superior being or life itself somehow has my best interests at heart, that all my suffering has a meaning...

If I assess things logically, it's obvious my suffering has no meaning whatsoever, that my future is utterly broken no matter how hard I try and how brave I might be. Yet this childish notion is extremely persistent and is rarely subjected to the logical scrutiny most of my other ideas are. I can't force my mind to accept the blunt, ugly truth about my existence; that I'm only getting older, the experiences I wanted are closed to me forever and there are scars that just never heal.

It's both puzzling and frustrating that this part of me is impervious to reason. It's such a naive and narcissistic proposition, but it's been drummed into me from such a young age that there's nothing I can really do about it.

I found that interesting to read. I am trying to think positively but it doesn't come naturally at all to me. I have always been a pessimist. And I don't think it makes stuff easier. It is easier to give up, but considering ctb I am also pessimistic. Believing that whatever method I choose it would probably go wrong and leave me worse off.

But yeah, living between hoping for the best and getting disappointed often is probably not easy for you...

 

[sserafim]

I'd say that I'm the opposite. I'm a natural pessimist, born quitter. Being hopeful or positive doesn't come naturally to me, and I never "fell for" the hopeful conditioning. I'm only still alive because I fear failing an attempt and the consequences of it, not because I believe that my life will get better or that there's "hope". I don't see the point in living out my life because life is suffering, yet I don't have the courage to escape due to fear. I'd say that fear is a great driving force and motivator. It basically keeps me alive against my will

 

[Throwawayacc3]

As mentioned above, I'm also too pessimistic about pretty much everything. So instead of just thinking 24/7 I just put my "good input" to the animals at the sanctuary, drive to buy parrot and wild bird food and put it in the holders in the garden and look after my dog. Everything else is just beige and just is what it is.

I posted the studies and stats/graphs in another thread about baseline "contentness". I could win the lottery and it might move my positive scale to +2 (0 is baseline) however MY baseline is around -1.5 so it's a temporary jump. And it's not "happy". It would just mean I can spend more time with the animals, have less stress, do as much as I can for my dog as she's getting older, pay my parents some money and leave and never come back.