Conditional suicide

[MiMif]

I recently made a deal with myself.

One of the reasons I desire to ctb is because I don't do anything all day. I am a dreamer always have been a dreamer and I've always wanted to accomplish so many things. Issue is I never got out of bed to do it. I have random spurts of energy and passion to achieve my goals that only last a day.

This isn't my main reason to ctb but it's a big one.

My conditional suicide is basically I make a list of 9 things to accomplish in a day. Some are simple like taking a shower and some are a bit more difficult. If I don't complete them I ctb by the end of the next day. If I'm not able to ctb because I'm a coward I cut 100x.

I'ma see how this works out for me.

 

[DoomerPrince]

Bro at least you're trying and it sound that you're a little bit motivated and it's amazing
Try to not stay alone with it and talk about it with a friend, and maybe professional help
You sound like a nice guy and it's so bad that you feel this way
I hope you'll be happy with your life someday and best luck

 

[MiMif]

Bro at least you're trying and it sound that you're a little bit motivated and it's amazing
Try to not stay alone with it and talk about it with a friend, and maybe professional help
You sound like a nice guy and it's so bad that you feel this way
I hope you'll be happy with your life someday and best luck

Yeah I figured if Im forced to stay alive I might as well try to not be a loser :/

This is a last ditch effort to not be a total failure