purebliss
"Just be happy" =)
- Mar 3, 2026
- 382
I am currently high as fuck on 2 Xanax + 3 Midazolam + 2x32% Weed. And I never had the answer clearer in front of my head now. Calm and with a collected mind.
I needed to know today what I really want. What I really desire after all of that up and down. I pretty much reached that clarity now.
And with this:
Hey everyone ^^
It's me again.
That one guy that made a Diary:
Part 1 - Life Story | Onion Link
Part 2 - Planning | Onion Link
Part 3 - Closure + DSL | Onion Link
Part 4 - Cover Blown | Onion Link <- Emotionally charged article. No longer reflects my current opinions and was written under massive sadness
Part 4:Amendment - Missing them | Onion Link <- Emotionally charged article. No longer reflects my current opinions and was written under massive sadness
Part 5 - Hypothesis | Onion Link
Part 6 - Curiosity | Onion Link
Part 7 - Shattered Hope | Onion Link
Part 8|Final Part - Happy Ending(?) + LSD Trip | Onion Link
And also the cost breakdown of the 5-Drug Mix (still very regrettable that it is not a feasible method): Here
So. With this I have (hopefully) finished my entire SN protocol
Got all the meds and some extra. I am certain I can get a peaceful exit with this now, finally.
I wrote a Software to push a Cleanup Message automatically to Instagram and WhatsApp. Will put that in a cronjob for a day after my demise and be done with it.
Everything around me has become quieter again. People started to finally stop worrying about me and I heavily doubt that they still sniff into my posts now. I see them all doing something proper with their life again. It was also a good indicator for roughly how long it would take for them to get over my death. So I feel way, way less guilty now about that aspect. Which makes me so glad again that I was right with my "Half a year I am nothing more than a point in the statistic and the story of that one friend that exited" theory.
So I am comfortable enough to share everything. I have to admit that I am really lonely in it all, and I would love to spend my last 1-2 hours with you guys here.
Also updating everyone how well the protocol works by texting here until I pass out
Maybe even do a discord call or smth?
Do you see any flaws? Please outline them to me and help your future fellow sufferers as well
Oh addendum: I also have 100g of SN now. So imma do 3x33g cups
The first plan I had: Here
I still did not manage to get my hand on Ondansetron which I really would have loved. But I think this will be fine with it. Was looking into Opiods but saw that it slows gastric emptying.
Considering I want to be knocked out as fast as possible this is probably the best way.
I did 3 Midazolam + 2 xanax + 31% THC weed today, and it fully knocked me out in a matter of 20-30 minutes.
Which makes me very, very sure that this method works like I want it to work.
I am thinking about propofol. But I am too mentally challenged to apply a proper IV. I doubt I can pull that one off
I can get my hands on it... but eh. Without medical knowledge you can fuck this up way too hard.
At least I will be high on Benzos and Midazolam.
I also once hit 5 benzos at once because a Situation hitted me hard which also led to a full on knockout where I did quite a lot of embarrassing things :')
So with that I can finally. After 13. Fucking. Consecutive. Years. find a way out of this Hell.
I will keep this thread updated what the meto and fasting does to me.
Last attempt it did leave some spasms but was all in all managable... Until well... my friend was unannounced in front of my door. Man I fasted two days for that :(
I hope I can help someone else what to expect when they take this route =)
Just in case this was not a Simulation.
Feel free to ask me whatever question comes up in your mind.
I am here ^^
I will be the most active here in the last hour which should roughly be on the
Here some calming music btw :>
I needed to know today what I really want. What I really desire after all of that up and down. I pretty much reached that clarity now.
And with this:
Hey everyone ^^
It's me again.
That one guy that made a Diary:
Part 1 - Life Story | Onion Link
Part 2 - Planning | Onion Link
Part 3 - Closure + DSL | Onion Link
Part 4 - Cover Blown | Onion Link <- Emotionally charged article. No longer reflects my current opinions and was written under massive sadness
Part 4:Amendment - Missing them | Onion Link <- Emotionally charged article. No longer reflects my current opinions and was written under massive sadness
Part 5 - Hypothesis | Onion Link
Part 6 - Curiosity | Onion Link
Part 7 - Shattered Hope | Onion Link
Part 8|Final Part - Happy Ending(?) + LSD Trip | Onion Link
And also the cost breakdown of the 5-Drug Mix (still very regrettable that it is not a feasible method): Here
So. With this I have (hopefully) finished my entire SN protocol
Got all the meds and some extra. I am certain I can get a peaceful exit with this now, finally.
I wrote a Software to push a Cleanup Message automatically to Instagram and WhatsApp. Will put that in a cronjob for a day after my demise and be done with it.
Everything around me has become quieter again. People started to finally stop worrying about me and I heavily doubt that they still sniff into my posts now. I see them all doing something proper with their life again. It was also a good indicator for roughly how long it would take for them to get over my death. So I feel way, way less guilty now about that aspect. Which makes me so glad again that I was right with my "Half a year I am nothing more than a point in the statistic and the story of that one friend that exited" theory.
So I am comfortable enough to share everything. I have to admit that I am really lonely in it all, and I would love to spend my last 1-2 hours with you guys here.
Also updating everyone how well the protocol works by texting here until I pass out
Maybe even do a discord call or smth?
First: This is the full kit now
Second: The upgraded and final flowchart
Do you see any flaws? Please outline them to me and help your future fellow sufferers as well
Oh addendum: I also have 100g of SN now. So imma do 3x33g cups
The first plan I had: Here
I still did not manage to get my hand on Ondansetron which I really would have loved. But I think this will be fine with it. Was looking into Opiods but saw that it slows gastric emptying.
Considering I want to be knocked out as fast as possible this is probably the best way.
I did 3 Midazolam + 2 xanax + 31% THC weed today, and it fully knocked me out in a matter of 20-30 minutes.
Which makes me very, very sure that this method works like I want it to work.
I am thinking about propofol. But I am too mentally challenged to apply a proper IV. I doubt I can pull that one off
I can get my hands on it... but eh. Without medical knowledge you can fuck this up way too hard.
At least I will be high on Benzos and Midazolam.
I also once hit 5 benzos at once because a Situation hitted me hard which also led to a full on knockout where I did quite a lot of embarrassing things :')
In just one evening the entire Horror can finally be over. I can finally be freed from it all.
This world is per definition comically evil. We have elitistic pedophile rings and pedophiles as leaders.
Facism globally and still enough mentally challenged people that don't understand that when they vote conservatism, they get conservatism.
This is only really a very minor aspect. Certainly helped though to make my life more miserable.
Why we can't just like each other is absolutely beyond me
Despite from that. Whenever fate decides things gets better for me some random bullshit happens and in a matter of mere hours every bit of "recovery" is smashed again.
And to be really honest with you: Yes. I wanted that. Urgently so. I really hated how I got better.
I was finally able to pull it off. Finally just for random acts of fate to intervene in my shit.
At my first attempt a friend of mine suddenly stood unannounced in front of my door
By my second attempt I had my ex-girlfriend come to me. (The one I wrote about in the 6th diary entry. Even though I straight up treated her so terrible she really got into me. And now I have her asking me constantly how I am and everything. Exhausting to lie every time in a somewhat convincing tone)
She was apparently worried that I just did not text anymore and that I was so down the last days.
I am fully and absolutely convinced that this entire situation is some type of comically evil Simulation or Truman Show-esque situation.
That I will wake up if I just break this continuous 10/1 cycle of 10 or more terrible experiences just for one good one to appear just for that to be destroyed as well.
So I probably won't even write a goodbye letter because all of this hell will be gone when I am gone anyway. Therefore, it's useless.
This can not be real. I can sometimes hear some type of laughter in my head when something terrible happens to me again, I swear to god. There are 100% sick fucks in some type of higher dimension laughing at my misery.
And when "fate" or whatever game master realizes that they might have gone to far it spawns any type of random good event in front of my face just so I don't pull the trigger.
So the next two days I will isolate myself fully. Not in an "alarming" way. I will answer when I am written to and everything. Keep the tightest mask on I can put on.
Suppressing my inherit desire to overshare is not easy, but doable.
I have lied for 13 years now. What are two more days...
Just have to look at old, good memories. Memories that I fucked up.
Keep myself occupied with sad and ethereal music and stay high till the last minute.
I have so much "suicide fuel" in my immich instance... that should be plenty to keep me low
This world is per definition comically evil. We have elitistic pedophile rings and pedophiles as leaders.
Facism globally and still enough mentally challenged people that don't understand that when they vote conservatism, they get conservatism.
This is only really a very minor aspect. Certainly helped though to make my life more miserable.
Why we can't just like each other is absolutely beyond me
Despite from that. Whenever fate decides things gets better for me some random bullshit happens and in a matter of mere hours every bit of "recovery" is smashed again.
And to be really honest with you: Yes. I wanted that. Urgently so. I really hated how I got better.
I was finally able to pull it off. Finally just for random acts of fate to intervene in my shit.
At my first attempt a friend of mine suddenly stood unannounced in front of my door
By my second attempt I had my ex-girlfriend come to me. (The one I wrote about in the 6th diary entry. Even though I straight up treated her so terrible she really got into me. And now I have her asking me constantly how I am and everything. Exhausting to lie every time in a somewhat convincing tone)
She was apparently worried that I just did not text anymore and that I was so down the last days.
I am fully and absolutely convinced that this entire situation is some type of comically evil Simulation or Truman Show-esque situation.
That I will wake up if I just break this continuous 10/1 cycle of 10 or more terrible experiences just for one good one to appear just for that to be destroyed as well.
So I probably won't even write a goodbye letter because all of this hell will be gone when I am gone anyway. Therefore, it's useless.
This can not be real. I can sometimes hear some type of laughter in my head when something terrible happens to me again, I swear to god. There are 100% sick fucks in some type of higher dimension laughing at my misery.
And when "fate" or whatever game master realizes that they might have gone to far it spawns any type of random good event in front of my face just so I don't pull the trigger.
So the next two days I will isolate myself fully. Not in an "alarming" way. I will answer when I am written to and everything. Keep the tightest mask on I can put on.
Suppressing my inherit desire to overshare is not easy, but doable.
I have lied for 13 years now. What are two more days...
Just have to look at old, good memories. Memories that I fucked up.
Keep myself occupied with sad and ethereal music and stay high till the last minute.
I have so much "suicide fuel" in my immich instance... that should be plenty to keep me low
So with that I can finally. After 13. Fucking. Consecutive. Years. find a way out of this Hell.
I will keep this thread updated what the meto and fasting does to me.
Last attempt it did leave some spasms but was all in all managable... Until well... my friend was unannounced in front of my door. Man I fasted two days for that :(
I hope I can help someone else what to expect when they take this route =)
Just in case this was not a Simulation.
Feel free to ask me whatever question comes up in your mind.
I am here ^^
I will be the most active here in the last hour which should roughly be on the
Here some calming music btw :>
Last edited:
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