Venting Commitment Issues

[ThatFlyGuy]

I all too often make friends with people online, only to dissapear because I can't stand getting close to anyone, I've struggled with this for years and it still rings true every single time I talk to someone new, I become great friends, we start getting close, then the second I feel in danger or vulnerable I block them and can't stand thinking about them.

It just scares me so much to even think of getting close to anyone or being vulnerable. I know showing that you are weak can only hurt you a leave you more hurt than before, but I god damn hate not being able to be myself in fear of rejection and anger.

God why am I so pathetic.

 

[Gaga786]

Hi, I hope your doing well. Yes, I have similar issues. It's like my guard is up every time. Im sorry that you have to suffer so much, and I hope your situation ameliorates and you find the inner peace you yearn. Just don't be so hard on yourself, I know its easier said than done.Take care

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's best not to be too trusting of other people. The reality is that other people can certainly be very cruel and you just cannot rely on them. At least to me it's for the best to be alone as other people can be unpredictable and just create more problems.

 

[AllMyDreams]

For me it's a bit different, I often get cyclically depressed, and so I always end friendships either because I get bored of people or because I get into a state and freak out on them. In romantic relationships I tend to get super neurotic, I've stalked my partner, called 100x in a day because he wouldn't respond, threatened suicide if he didn't reply immediately, etc. (but I've worked on that a lot so it's not as much of a problem).

Because of this I rarely initiate friendships because I know they won't last. I think it started because I moved around a lot as a kid and so I never learned to make long-term friendships, plus I have Asperger's/OCD which made me prone to depression.

If you were hurt by someone, I understand it's very hard to open up to people. I hope you can find some strategies to deal better, even if it's just not giving away much info about yourself. Nobody should pressure you into telling them about sensitive topics in your life, until you've built a deep level of trust, so don't be afraid to open up slowly. It's nothing to be ashamed of. And there are many good people out there (along with many flawed people).