BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
When I was leaving psych ward, I was trying to recover, but these shit drugs made it worse, sleeping all day and getting fat. So I relapsed into addiction and now I drink every other day. I take twice the recommended dosage and swig vodka straight from the bottle until I pass out. Today I had a doctors appointment (unrelated) and well...she said that medication combined with alcoholism damaged my bone marrow and my bloods are dropping, leaving me at risk for hemorrage and serious infection. So I thought, maybe I could binge drink as much as physically possible, every day, and it will finally cause cancer or something like that and then Ill just die without it being known that I wanted to suicide. Kinda long term ctb. What do you think?
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
When I was leaving psych ward, I was trying to recover, but these shit drugs made it worse, sleeping all day and getting fat. So I relapsed into addiction and now I drink every other day. I take twice the recommended dosage and swig vodka straight from the bottle until I pass out. Today I had a doctors appointment (unrelated) and well...she said that medication combined with alcoholism damaged my bone marrow and my bloods are dropping, leaving me at risk for hemorrage and serious infection. So I thought, maybe I could binge drink as much as physically possible, every day, and it will finally cause cancer or something like that and then Ill just die without it being known that I wanted to suicide. Kinda long term ctb. What do you think?

You can always get a lot of diseases and suffer without actually dying. I'd say if you truly want it, one of the more peaceful exits is better.
 
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Lookingforabus

Lookingforabus

Arcanist
Aug 6, 2019
421
Sounds pretty unpleasant, like the kind of thing the euthanasia books are written to get a quick escape from.
 
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E

eve2004

DEAD YESTERDAY
Aug 17, 2019
578
Long, unreliable, costly and probably painful... avoid! But I feel the same except no matter I do or take my blood work is pristine clean. I'm so hard to kill...
 
J

Juicebox

Trying to Stay Alive
Jul 31, 2019
47
I once got rhabdomyolysis from drinking and "attempted suicide" by not getting it treated, and that was the most painful thing I've ever been through

I wouldn't recommend it
 
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B

ballerz24

Member
Mar 14, 2019
14
Doesn't sound like a pleasant way to die
 
Jumper

Jumper

Student
Jun 18, 2019
149
You will likely end up with a chronic illness but still be alive. Liver disease is particularly awful. I'd advise against this plan.
 
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N

Neville1

Student
Aug 26, 2019
170
Although it's ironic if your goal is to ctb, it's better to stay healthy until some less prolonged and less agonizing method is found.
 
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SelfHatingAspie

SelfHatingAspie

Ambitious but rubbish
Jul 2, 2019
198
I have stage 2 hypertension and a family history of heart disease. At one stage I was doing stuff to add extra strain to my heart so that it might eventually cause a cardiac arrest, such as putting salt into almost everything I ate (including cups of coffee) and taking caffeine pills (again, with coffee).

When I went in for voluntary admission earlier this year, the nurses wigged out because my blood pressure was around 175/120. As such, I was put on a couple of different BP meds and now I'm down to around 135/100. The reason I decided to stick with the BP meds is because I have a certain number of things I need to get done before I ctb, and I don't want to accidentally pass too soon. That, and people have a pesky habit of calling ambulances when seeing someone having a coronary issue.

So, no. I wouldn't try and ctb by messing with bloodwork, BP or in any other way that increases long-term risk of death without the benefit of being able to choose when and where I die.
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Yeah, I should have known its not a good way to do this. Id rather have it as a back up plan to jumping. But it was good to hear others opinions on it
 
B

blackflag1

Experienced
Oct 6, 2019
214
Horrible way to go. It is easy enough to end up with a chronic illness let alone trying to cause. You do not always die and if you do, it could be a lingering painful death over years. Check out faster and better with another method. Check out the SN info here.
 
E

eve2004

DEAD YESTERDAY
Aug 17, 2019
578
You don't want to end up with some chronic or acute illness that will screw with your ability to CTB on your own terms. Tempting as it is...
 
Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
When I was leaving psych ward, I was trying to recover, but these shit drugs made it worse, sleeping all day and getting fat. So I relapsed into addiction and now I drink every other day. I take twice the recommended dosage and swig vodka straight from the bottle until I pass out. Today I had a doctors appointment (unrelated) and well...she said that medication combined with alcoholism damaged my bone marrow and my bloods are dropping, leaving me at risk for hemorrage and serious infection. So I thought, maybe I could binge drink as much as physically possible, every day, and it will finally cause cancer or something like that and then Ill just die without it being known that I wanted to suicide. Kinda long term ctb. What do you think?
Your method has been called the suicide plan in installments - liver and kidney failure and possibly an esophagus rupture. I agree with the other posts. There are gentle ways to ctb.
 
M

MaybeSoon

Experienced
Oct 11, 2019
261
Part of me wants to drink myself to liver failure. So at least people would see I'd have a 'valid' reason to CBT since chronic depression and anxiety aren't enough for some reason.

Unfortunately my liver can take a beating and function normally it seems.
 
E

eve2004

DEAD YESTERDAY
Aug 17, 2019
578
From what I hear, slow chronic liver failure is painful as fk. Acetominophen OD will guarantee acute liver failure and at least you'd get pain meds for it.

These long term plans to sabotage your health rarely work. And I think there's a bit of "Murphy" in there, those who do it consciously are resilient as fk and those who don't intend to but can't help it will die from it. So the odds are not good, at best you'll come close, be in pain and recover. At worst, nothing at all will happen. I've thought about this myself but Im one of those resilient as fk people, as much shit as I have taken, my blood work is more than perfect or ideal, it's excellent. Jeez.
 

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