Coincidence or fate?

[LocalAngel]

I got my SN from IC today. I'm in Australia so i was half convinced it wouldn't even show up. But it did- went to the mailbox so i grabbed it before anyone else found it.

Same day, 8 hours later, my partner at the time broke up with me. All because she wanted to be more open and feel more free, sexually and such.

The situation sucks because i had asked her plenty of times previously if she wanted to just be poly, or more open. She said she wanted to be strictly mono.

I just... i don't know anymore. It feels like fate. I already wanted to CTB but now i'm pretty convinced it's my only option. I had a small, tiny sliver of hope. I don't have that hope anymore. I'm disabled, i can't get a job, i can't get housing for at least the next few years- let alone actually being a responsible adult who can pay the bills for said housing. I'm mentally ill as shit and i have too much trauma to even remotely process through.

Everything is too much. I thought i could get through this with her, but now that i don't have that... just. Fuck this life. Fuck this world. Fuck all the cruel people.

 

[jolongone]

Hi,

I got my SN from IC today. I'm in Australia so i was half convinced it wouldn't even show up. But it did- went to the mailbox so i grabbed it before anyone else found it.

Same day, 8 hours later, my partner at the time broke up with me. All because she wanted to be more open and feel more free, sexually and such.

The situation sucks because i had asked her plenty of times previously if she wanted to just be poly, or more open. She said she wanted to be strictly mono.

I just... i don't know anymore. It feels like fate. I already wanted to CTB but now i'm pretty convinced it's my only option. I had a small, tiny sliver of hope. I don't have that hope anymore. I'm disabled, i can't get a job, i can't get housing for at least the next few years- let alone actually being a responsible adult who can pay the bills for said housing. I'm mentally ill as shit and i have too much trauma to even remotely process through.

Everything is too much. I thought i could get through this with her, but now that i don't have that... just. Fuck this life. Fuck this world. Fuck all the cruel people.
Hi, l'm from Australia too. Just curious about where you got your SN from. I have been having difficulty finding a source. Would you consider to please pm me and let me know. I understand if you don't want to.

Hi, l am from Australia too and have not been able to find a source for SN. Would you consider sending me the site where you got it. I understand if you don't want to

 

[LocalAngel]

Hi,

Heya, sorry, i'm not comfortable giving that out. I can safely say that IC did work though.

 

[Shadowlord900]

No need to rush it if you're not in any desperate situation. It's best to only attempt your CTB method when you're sure you feel ready so you'll have the best chance of success. The main thing is you've got your ticket for a way out and I imagine that in of itself should be a huge relief. (I know I felt that why when I got my Phenobarb tablets.)

 

[jolongone]

Heya, sorry, i'm not comfortable giving that out. I can safely say that IC did work though.

No worries. Could you tell me please what IC means?

 

[LocalAngel]

No need to rush it if you're not in any desperate situation. It's best to only attempt your CTB method when you're sure you feel ready so you'll have the best chance of success. The main thing is you've got your ticket for a way out and I imagine that in of itself should be a huge relief. (I know I felt that why when I got my Phenobarb tablets.)

I agree, which is why i'll be taking the next few weeks to really reflect and think on what my life is, in an objective way. Also, i am sort of on a time limit due to covid bullshit & i'm not a great liar, so i doubt i can lie to my psych for much longer.

I'm not going to rush into it, but i do think that it's time. If that makes sense. Gonna cross some things off the bucket list first.

No worries. Could you tell me please what IC means?

It's the name of the source. It stands for something that i'm not comfortable sharing ^^

 

[Shadowlord900]

No worries. Could you tell me please what IC means?

We're not allowed to reveal what the initals means of sources in public. I'll pm it to you.

 

[LocalAngel]

Unrelated vent, but my random body pains keep getting worse. It's just all over. Chronic pain constantly and i can't figure out why exactly, no matter how many tests are done... time to start writing down my reasons for wanting to CTB.

 

[Gorsasu]

You guys are so sweet, it is actualy hearthwarming <3

 

[FuneralCry]

At least now you have the option of a reliable way to leave so you don't feel so trapped here, you have the choice. But it's true that life really is so cruel and it certainly can be awful when what one goes through just continues to get worse. I hate how in this world there is no limit as to how much we can potentially suffer, but I wish you the best.

 

[LocalAngel]

At least now you have the option of a reliable way to leave so you don't feel so trapped here, you have the choice. But it's true that life really is so cruel and it certainly can be awful when what one goes through just continues to get worse. I hate how in this world there is no limit as to how much we can potentially suffer, but I wish you the best.

Yeah. As my emotions are starting to kick back in i'm realizing how much all of this hurts and now i want out more then ever. My life is sadly a series of continuous suffering.

 

[Octavia]

We're not allowed to reveal what the initals means of sources in public. I'll pm it to you.

May I have a PM as well? I am curious about who this "IC" is, I have heard a lot about them here.

 

[jolongone]

We're not allowed to reveal what the initals means of sources in public. I'll pm it to you.

Thank you

I agree, which is why i'll be taking the next few weeks to really reflect and think on what my life is, in an objective way. Also, i am sort of on a time limit due to covid bullshit & i'm not a great liar, so i doubt i can lie to my psych for much longer.

I'm not going to rush into it, but i do think that it's time. If that makes sense. Gonna cross some things off the bucket list first.

It's the name of the source. It stands for something that i'm not comfortable sharing ^^

That's ok, all good

 

[jolongone]

Unrelated vent, but my random body pains keep getting worse. It's just all over. Chronic pain constantly and i can't figure out why exactly, no matter how many tests are done... time to start writing down my reasons for wanting to CTB.

Thank you