chicken out

[I8meself]

My plan was to rent a cheap hotel room and partial hang myself. I have a bunch of sleeping pill who i wanted to take before. I buy a rope and try it on. It didnt last 4 second before taking it off.How can i ctb if i cannot even keep it on for 4s???? I feel i need to do it now but i feel so afraid and ashamed of myself. Im bad at everything even when i try to kill myself. Maybe its not the right method or the right moment. I feel just so tired and dont see a futur for myself. Im burnout tired ashamed discouraged. I will kill my parents if i kill myself too.. I dont see a end of my pain.. Sorry needed to vent and letting it out. Wishing you all the best and sending you love ♡♡♡

 

[Morgengrauen]

Don't beat yourself up for a very natural bodily reaction when facing death. It takes some warming up to get used to it without instantly chickening out and most here know this feeling very well. If you really feel like it's the wrong method and time you should definitely reevaluate the plan and find a solution better suited for you. I know you're in pain, but don't rush it and there's no reason to feel pressured into doing it when you don't feel 100% sure or need time to process the fears. It doesn't make you weak or a failure.

wishing you the best on your journey and am sorry you're in such pain right now

 

[SVEN]

Survival Instinct is a hard one. Maybe try just repeating the physical actions leading up to whatever course of action you consider, or decide on.
The more frequently you go through the pattern leading up to the act, the more innured you will become to it. Presently, since you know that you are not intending to go through to completion on this occasion, the feelings of panic or concern will lessen as you become more and more familiar with the steps involved.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how it's so difficult to die and I get that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here, it's cruel how we cannot just easily leave this existence in peace. But anyway I wish you the best, it's really understandable feeling so tired of suffering here.

 

[Unseenteardrop]

SI is a son of a bitch. I wish we didn't have to fight our bodily processes in pursuit of eternal peace