Catching the bus tonight

[MeltingHeart]

Well you sound like you have considered this and planned well, I hope I can be as organised and calm as you when the time comes (soon I hope).
Wish you luck and will prob be online if u need to chat at all.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

This is the first time we've talked. You reply to everyone who has replied. You are clearly an intelligent and considerate person who has tried their best to cope. It's so unfair that this is happening to you. I feel like I'm I'm the same boat. It makes me angry that people have to suffer so much despite trying to help themselves. My thoughts are with you.

I appreciate everyone's kindness here and I'd love to give anyone the feeling of being appreciated and included during my last few hours.
Thank you so much for your kindness.
I'm so sorry that you feel like you're in the same boat, I hope that things will get better for you if not then I hope that you'll find the peace you are looking for atm.

Well you sound like you have considered this and planned well, I hope I can be as organised and calm as you when the time comes (soon I hope).
Wish you luck and will prob be online if u need to chat at all.

I've tried my best anyway thank you so much.
I hope that you'll be able to plan everything well as soon as your time has arrived, if it doesn't arrive soon then I wish you a speedy recovery with lots of luck in your life.
Thank you!

 

[Time]

I'll catch the bus tonight around 3 am UK time and gosh I can not believe this? It feels so unreal, this is the thing I've been dreaming about for years.
Leaving the earth, no more crying because I'm still alive, no more dreams about ctb and most importanly no more bad days.

I feel so sorry for my friends, they've been supportive all the time and there are no words for how grateful I am. They're definitely the reason why I haven't done any other attempt this year.
I do really hope that they won't blame themselves as they've done everything they could.
I will send my friends in the evening delayed emails with a link to the documents at my Google Drive account: funny pictures of my pets, ugly pics of me (double chin and that stuff) and most importanly to me videos where they could hear my voice.
God I really hope that this makes grief for them a bit easier.

I'm still in disbelief knowing that today will be the last few hours with my pets, one last time to cuddle with them, one last time to give them kisses and one last time to tell them all how loved they are.
I will always love them.
A lovely member here on SS (I don't know or she'd be happy if I mention her username, however a massive thank you to her!) will call the police in the morning US time to get someone to my apartment to most importanly shelter my pets.
I have left a note for the police with instructions about what to do with my pets and phone numbers of people who might be able to shelter them.
One of my friends has promised me that she will do her best to take at least one of my pet, I really hope that she will able to give one of them a lovely home & I hope that they will get a lot of support out each other.
I will leave more than enough food and water for my pets before I take SN.

My heart aches to think that my family will receive a call tomorrow or the police from my home country at the door, my family will need to catch a flight to see my body. It hurts.

It hurts even more to be still alive, to cry everyday, not seeing any other solution.
I have peace with my decision and I really hope that other people will have peace with my decision as well.
I hope that there will be a bit of relief on everyone's shoulder as well: no more fear of me catching the bus.

I will keep posting here until I took SN so please don't ban me until I've mentioned that I took SN.
I'll make sure after I took SN that my cookies & history will be deleted to avoid that my family or the police will ever have the chance to read through my posts.

Thanks for being here & sharing with us, NeCkDeEp. Sounds like you have a solid plan in place & I hope that my plan will be as well. Hopefully I'm online when you ctb so I can see you off. If not, if you wish to proceed, I hope that you find peace.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Thanks for being here & sharing with us, NeCkDeEp. Sounds like you have a solid plan in place & I hope that my plan will be as well. Hopefully I'm online when you ctb so I can see you off. If not, if you wish to proceed, I hope that you find peace.

Thank you so much I really appreciate this!
If you consider to ctb please take your time to think about how and whether you want to leave something behind for your loved ones.
The wait is gonna be frustrating but it will be worth it when your time comes.
I haven't been this happy for weeks and can't stop dancing & singing because of how happy I am about how I've planned everything and what kind of relief it is to me.
If you decide to stay alive and recover then I wish you lots of joy and happiness.

 

[PetiteAngel]

As a Newbie here I never got to chance to know you and that saddens me deeply.

I just want to say good night and sweet dreams.

 

[passenger27]

Good luck to you. I hope you find peace.

 

[samarra]

I am so sorry life brought you to this. You seem like such a gentle and caring soul. Thank you for spending some of your remaining time with us on this platform and sharing your thoughs. I wish you a peaceful exit and if you decide to stay, we shall welcome you with open arms.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

As a Newbie here I never got to chance to know you and that saddens me deeply.

I just want to say good night and sweet dreams.

I'm sorry for that, please bare in your mind that I'm really happy and relieved to ctb tonight.
Thank you, I wish you nothing but the best.

Good luck to you. I hope you find peace.

Thank you!

I am so sorry life brought you to this. You seem like such a gentle and caring soul. Thank you for spending some of your remaining time with us on this platform and sharing your thoughs. I wish you a peaceful exit and if you decide to stay, we shall welcome you with open arms.

It's honestly really sad.. I didn't think one month ago about ending my life this month, I always knew that I will die young and probably by ctb however even I didn't expect it to be this month.
It's insane how fucked up mental health can be and how your thoughts can escalate in to completely losing your will to live, I have tried to get through this for years but it's fine I'm ready to go.
I can't say it enough but I'm really happy now and can't stop dancing and singing because it will be all over soon, I feel sorry for my pets my cat didn't snuggle herself against me for like 2 days and she suddenly just decided to snuggle herself against me. She probably knows that something will happen within 5 hours.
Thank you so much, the only reason for me to come back is if my attempt would be not succesful which I don't hope.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Sending peace and kindness.

 

[PetiteAngel]

As a Newbie here I never got to chance to know you and that saddens me deeply.

I just want to say good night and sweet dreams.

See you down the road x

 

[R_N]

I wish you all the best. I am not a religious person but who knows, maybe we will meet again somewhere, sometime... You never know. Take care. :3

 

[Farmmaa]

It's honestly really sad.. I didn't think one month ago about ending my life this month, I always knew that I will die young and probably by ctb however even I didn't expect it to be this month.
It's insane how fucked up mental health can be and how your thoughts can escalate in to completely losing your will to live, I have tried to get through this for years but it's fine I'm ready to go.
I can't say it enough but I'm really happy now and can't stop dancing and singing because it will be all over soon, I feel sorry for my pets my cat didn't snuggle herself against me for like 2 days and she suddenly just decided to snuggle herself against me. She probably knows that something will happen within 5 hours.
Thank you so much, the only reason for me to come back is if my attempt would be not succesful which I don't hope.

I'm so glad that today is a happy, satisfying day for you.
Sending love and peace

 

[waterbottleman]

I'm sorry for that, please bare in your mind that I'm really happy and relieved to ctb tonight.
Thank you, I wish you nothing but the best.

Thank you!

It's honestly really sad.. I didn't think one month ago about ending my life this month, I always knew that I will die young and probably by ctb however even I didn't expect it to be this month.
It's insane how fucked up mental health can be and how your thoughts can escalate in to completely losing your will to live, I have tried to get through this for years but it's fine I'm ready to go.
I can't say it enough but I'm really happy now and can't stop dancing and singing because it will be all over soon, I feel sorry for my pets my cat didn't snuggle herself against me for like 2 days and she suddenly just decided to snuggle herself against me. She probably knows that something will happen within 5 hours.
Thank you so much, the only reason for me to come back is if my attempt would be not succesful which I don't hope.

=(

 

[BPDbitch]

Good luck, whatever you choose I hope you find some peace.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Sending peace and kindness.

Same goes to you!

See you down the road x

See you there.

I wish you all the best. I am not a religious person but who knows, maybe we will meet again somewhere, sometime... You never know. Take care. :3

Thank you. I'm not religious either anyway I hope that we both will get the peace we were looking for.

I'm so glad that today is a happy, satisfying day for you.
Sending love and peace

Thank you!

 

[Meant2Die]

It's a relief to hear how happy you are to go.(I thought I'd feel that way too instead I'm overcome with guilt and grief lately as my loose ctb date approaches). But, It really is a great thing to have control over your ending, even if the circumstances that brought you there are ...well....unfortunate and terrible.
Anyway, wishing you luck in obtaining your goal tonight, although with how happy you are about it I have no doubt you will succeed! No SI instinct to kick in. Everything well thought out and planned.
May you get the peace you deserve

 

[Moony21]

I wish you safe travels

 

[Loner]

Wishing you a peaceful journey... sending you lots of love.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

It's a relief to hear how happy you are to go.(I thought I'd feel that way too instead I'm overcome with guilt and grief lately as my loose ctb date approaches). But, It really is a great thing to have control over your ending, even if the circumstances that brought you there are ...well....unfortunate and terrible.
Anyway, wishing you luck in obtaining your goal tonight, although with how happy you are about it I have no doubt you will succeed! No SI instinct to kick in. Everything well thought out and planned.
May you get the peace you deserve

It's strange how happy I am hahahaa but yeah it's a good thing and hopefully also a bigger chance of having no SI.
Thank you so much.
I hope that if you'd decide to recover that it will go well, if you decide to ctb: please try to plan as much as possible, it's gonna be frustrating as it will take days but look at me how happy and relieved I am.
I hope that you'll be happy and relieved with whatever you choose as well.

I wish you safe travels

Thank you!

Wishing you a peaceful journey... sending you lots of love.

Thank you, lots of love right back to you.


Would you all leave the frontdoor unlocked or locked? I'm scared that a stranger / drunk or homeless person will walk in to my apartment (it's Friday night and there are usually a lot of drunk people in my street) if I leave my frontdoor unlocked for the police.
Anyway if I'd lock the door then the police obvs needs to break in..

 

[TowerUpright]

Peace be with you.

 

[fightingsioux]

Just remember: you're an adult, you have a perfect right to do this, it's your life and your choice.

However, when the time comes, if you decide to postpone things, don't feel silly or embarrassed.

Suicide has no shelf life or expiration date, it will not spoil if not used today, it will always be there for you.

Just come back here, say you changed your mind and will wait for a while, everyone will welcome you back.

 

[End_Game]

Before you go, tell us, why are you going?

 

[realjunes]

It's strange how happy I am hahahaa but yeah it's a good thing and hopefully also a bigger chance of having no SI.
Thank you so much.
I hope that if you'd decide to recover that it will go well, if you decide to ctb: please try to plan as much as possible, it's gonna be frustrating as it will take days but look at me how happy and relieved I am.
I hope that you'll be happy and relieved with whatever you choose as well.

Thank you!

Thank you, lots of love right back to you.


Would you all leave the frontdoor unlocked or locked? I'm scared that a stranger / drunk or homeless person will walk in to my apartment (it's Friday night and there are usually a lot of drunk people in my street) if I leave my frontdoor unlocked for the police.
Anyway if I'd lock the door then the police obvs needs to break in..

Oh, lock it for sure, you dont need visitors.

 

[Skyview]

Sadly I never got the chance to know you , I am new on this site and just wanted to say hi and wish you a peaceful journey to wherever.

 

[Weakling666]

Here for you until the end. I'm excited for you. You'll fly soon enough.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Peace be with you.

Thank you, may the peace be with you too.

Just remember: you're an adult, you have a perfect right to do this, it's your life and your choice.

However, when the time comes, if you decide to postpone things, don't feel silly or embarrassed.

Suicide has no shelf life or expiration date, it will not spoil if not used today, it will always be there for you.

Just come back here, say you changed your mind and will wait for a while, everyone will welcome you back.

I do really appreciate this thank you however I don't feel like changing my mind so far.

Before you go, tell us, why are you going?

Sorry but I prefer to not tell all my reasons for ctb in my departure post, I'm sure that I've mentioned somewhere in my posts things about my past so I advise you if you want to know more about my past to have a read through my posts.

Oh, lock it for sure, you dont need visitors.

I'll lock it, thank you.

Sadly I never got the chance to know you , I am new on this site and just wanted to say hi and wish you a peaceful journey to wherever.

Such a shame anyway no worries, thank you so much and I hope that whatever you decide to do with your life that you'll be happy and in peace too.

Here for you until the end. I'm excited for you. You'll fly soon enough.

Thank you! I'll start with taking ibuprofen at 2 am so about like almost 3/4 hours.

 

[Dripping]

Sending love, and we will be here should you want us so you won't be alone.
Much Love and safe travels

 

[realjunes]

I don't know how to attach OPs song choice, which is attached to his original post, but it is really beautiful and on point, if you get the chance to go to OPs original post and listen to it. Thanks for the song, OP.

 

[Numbtopain97]

I hope you find peace

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Sending love, and we will be here should you want us so you won't be alone.
Much Love and safe travels

Thank you so much I really appreciate this

I don't know how to attach OPs song choice, which is attached to his original post, but it is really beautiful and on point, if you get the chance to go to OPs original post and listen to it. Thanks for the song, OP.

I know right?! I relate A LOT to that song and it's honestly the perfect song to drop in a post like this.

I hope you find peace

Thank you!