INYGTRMTFMO
I Need Your Grace To Remind Me To Find My Own
- May 1, 2025
- 124
- My husband is acutely aware of the intensity of my suicidal ideation -- had a crashout last month and would have ctb if my SI weren't so high -- and he mentioned casually during Thanksgiving, after his cousin showed off a fancy pistol at Thanksgiving dinner ('Murica!), that he'd like to buy a gun to add to his knife collection. While I don't think I'd actually have the guts to shoot myself with it, a part of me is like "The way I would N O T even entertain the thought of purchasing a firearm if YOU were the suicidal one".
- Vagueposting until after the results appointment this week on the rare, rare chance that my neuropsych lurks SS and the even rarer chance she ties this account to me, but said appointment may make or break me (specifically, is at least some of what is wrong with me treatable orrrrr am I just fucked, because I'm increasingly feeling like maybe I'm just fucked?).
- I hate myself for hating my job because it has Objectively Positive Societal Value (human services), but man is this job stressing me out because we're spread too thin and with too few resources to be servicing all these humans.
Anyway, hope y'all's week has had at least some positive moments in it. <3
- Vagueposting until after the results appointment this week on the rare, rare chance that my neuropsych lurks SS and the even rarer chance she ties this account to me, but said appointment may make or break me (specifically, is at least some of what is wrong with me treatable orrrrr am I just fucked, because I'm increasingly feeling like maybe I'm just fucked?).
- I hate myself for hating my job because it has Objectively Positive Societal Value (human services), but man is this job stressing me out because we're spread too thin and with too few resources to be servicing all these humans.
Anyway, hope y'all's week has had at least some positive moments in it. <3
