Help Can’t take it anymore

[jgm63]

Wow. I'm truly humbled. Thank you endlessly for your kind and beautiful words. I don't know how to say how much you've truly touched my heart that you took the time to respond the way you did. You, my friend, are one of life's rare beautiful souls. ❤

I don't know if it will be enough to save me but it's made me stop to think for sure.

Very true. @GoodPersonEffed is a true gem.

Thank you both so very much. I will listen to the song.

The deepest pain can bring about the greatest transformation.
Although it's hard for us to see, situations like this can be enormous opportunities for growth.

I understand the horrendous pain you are in.
Be the pain.
Don't think about it, just be it.
Something good can come from this.
It will take time and great courage.
But you have what it takes.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Wow. I'm truly humbled. Thank you endlessly for your kind and beautiful words. I don't know how to say how much you've truly touched my heart that you took the time to respond the way you did. You, my friend, are one of life's rare beautiful souls. ❤

I don't know if it will be enough to save me but it's made me stop to think for sure.

My pleasure.

I don't worry if it will or will not save you. I view it this way: my thoughts, opinions and feelings grow in the yard of my life, I have an abundance of them to share. If you find any of them to be of value, it's up to you to transplant them into your own yard, water them, tend and nurture them, cross-breed them with other thoughts and opinions, etc. Do with them however you please, including the rubbish bin.

I sincerely wish you the best for you and your yard, whatever that is for you.

 

[jgm63]

Wow. I'm truly humbled. Thank you endlessly for your kind and beautiful words. I don't know how to say how much you've truly touched my heart that you took the time to respond the way you did. You, my friend, are one of life's rare beautiful souls. ❤

I don't know if it will be enough to save me but it's made me stop to think for sure.

Very true. @GoodPersonEffed is a true gem.

Thank you both so very much. I will listen to the song.

I truly appreciate the sentiment but unfortunately it's not that simple. This man was pretty much my whole life. The pain I wake up with every day knowing he doesn't give a damn about me now is too much to bear. It might sound silly and ridiculous to some people, but all I can think about daily is him.

If you truly manage to connect with your own power within then you will be okay.
That is the greatest undertaking anyone can perform.
And yet it is what you can and must do ( though I am not telling you what to do of course, I hope you appreciate that ).
My spiritual teacher once said that everyone must climb their own mountain.
And that in truth, everyone has the ability to do so.
You have the strength, even though you may not believe that you do.
You will only discover your own strength by starting the journey, and persevering.

However, whatever you decide, we will of course respect your wishes and support you.
I believe that some CTB reasons are more valid than others.
For your case, I personally don't believe that CTB is the right option.
However, it is still your choice to make of course.....

Please take time to consider carefully all the points made on this thread, and do so multiple times over the days or weeks ahead.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Been there before. My ex cheated behind my back. Went to hell, and back on multiple trips for her. She lied to me constantly. I listened to my stomach on something wasn't right. I would be yelled at by her saying I didn't trust, and etc... Well when I found everything out I'm actually surprised I didn't hurt anyone as I suffer from intermittent explosive disorder. I get blackout rages, but it was odd when I finally found out what I knew all along it honestly felt like a weight off me. I told her I was leaving she had a meltdown. After being lied a decieved on multiple occasions I played her game for a bit on working on the relationship. I mastered this plan that I'm going to be the best I can be to her, and when I feel like it's going to destroy her, I cut ties. It was actually beautiful, and went according to plan. I had her head over heels. More in love then she's ever been. One day I woke up and said today's the day. I confessed to my plan, and left. Now some may view me as a terrible person, and I'm willing to accept that, but if I could somehow show the half that drawn me to doing something so toxic I would. It's ultimately destroyed me, and has caused my trust to be thin when it comes to relationships. I've heard the this a new relationship line a time or two, but I swore to myself I'd never allow another female to hurt me again like I was hurt. We're all here for you!