sorry for the second vent today, i just feel awful rn. just on autopilot, i got nothin to do that has any real purpose. i look at meself in the mirror n don't recognize the bastard, me body ain't even feelin real, life feels strange and death is as incomprehensible as ever. can't imagine the future, can hardly remember me past, i live in the moment and i retain nothing. i feel like an empty husk, just a tumbleweed, but even those have a purpose, bein to spread seeds around. i don't do jack shit.
all i wanna do is find a nice spot with a lot of wood-sorrels, lay down, chug some fungicide and pass the fuck out (hopefully never to wake up). the only person that understands me is me bf, and all i feel like i can connect with are him n the little plants i call me friends. tbh, i wish i could just lay in a bed of flowers and watch life pass me by, or better yet, just die in their green arms n let them have at me body, but that'll never happen. all i can hope for is to hold a pot o me little lads n wait until the damn fungicide kicks in, but i ain't even got the balls for that. no reason to die, no motivation to live. i just exist, n i wish i didn't. any time i'm in a car or near the street i just want someone to veer off the road and slam into me full-force.
i don't know what the fuck happened but i don't like feeling like this. i feel dead. wish i was.
apologies for any potential redundancy, i ain't got the motivation to proofread this.
all i wanna do is find a nice spot with a lot of wood-sorrels, lay down, chug some fungicide and pass the fuck out (hopefully never to wake up). the only person that understands me is me bf, and all i feel like i can connect with are him n the little plants i call me friends. tbh, i wish i could just lay in a bed of flowers and watch life pass me by, or better yet, just die in their green arms n let them have at me body, but that'll never happen. all i can hope for is to hold a pot o me little lads n wait until the damn fungicide kicks in, but i ain't even got the balls for that. no reason to die, no motivation to live. i just exist, n i wish i didn't. any time i'm in a car or near the street i just want someone to veer off the road and slam into me full-force.
i don't know what the fuck happened but i don't like feeling like this. i feel dead. wish i was.
apologies for any potential redundancy, i ain't got the motivation to proofread this.
