Can’t decide. Advice?

[FallenX]

I can't decide between SN and SA azide.

I am scared with SN I'll fail and vomit and either end up sectioned or worse.

With SA it is very restricted but I found a seller. Problem Is there is no way to tell what they send is really SA.

Would you take legit SN or potentially sketchy SA?

PM me if you're more comfortable discussing there.

 

[Girobatol]

Legit SN

 

[Tiedie]

SN

 

[MeltingHeart]

I can't decide between SN and SA azide.

I am scared with SN I'll fail and vomit and either end up sectioned or worse. Mainly the vomiting fear. I have Domperidone and meto. Scared to take meto.

With SA it is very restricted but I found a seller who Is good at shipping. Problem Is there is no way to tell what they send is really SA. Not a real big business so they are kinda sketchy.

Would you take legit SN or potentially sketchy SA?

From reading your v.v.repeated posts I cant help but conclude you do seem to be far too scared of SN, most things- given the subject matter will likely be atleast a little nerve wracking for all of us- that is a very natural reaction after all-however you seem acutely worried about sn-depsite many responses giving you advice about this method- then you will say in the same post that SA seems much better-but also then list all of the ways in which SA is not a good method aswell. It's something of a dilema and I know it is a hard & potentially v.scary decision to have to make, but at the end of the day people can really only give you advice and reassurance on a method as best they can- ultimately no one else can choose for you. I can see why you want to ask questions- but I believe you may be able to find all the answers in the threads that aleady exist for these methods.

 

[FallenX]

SN has a much higher risk of vomiting than SA which lowers its reliability despite the antiemetics. If everything went smooth SN is the way. But people vomit it up more. Also due to my antiemetic I cant take the acid reducer and that's lowering its effectiveness.

SA is brutal and destroys Everything in your body. Necrosis. But it's 99% certain and although it destroys you more than SN where the biggest risk is brain damage from being saved later on....Exit is right almost no one survives a high dose of SA. No one. I found one report of survival of high dose but anything over 3 grams in medical reports was nope gone.

Im worried of vomiting SN then what happens? versus a more horrible but nearly guaranteed outcome from SA.

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

SA for a guaranteed but painful death.

SN for a (almost) guaranteed and peaceful death.

I say almost for SN as either vomiting or panic can cause a failed attempt - however vomiting doesn't guarantee failure, and panicking will only lead to failure if you call for help and the effects are reversed.

SN is completely reliable if you manage to keep it down and don't vomit, and also don't let the panic get the best of you.

I assume that is why people encourage you to be 100% sure this is what you want to do, as in ctb. I can only imagine how someone like @bpdme felt earlier today.

 

[CrushedHopes]

SN...... and please, please, please take some time off and give some serious consideration on which method you would like to utilize, OP. We have analyzed SN many times for you. Going back and forth about it doesn't help you, nor the rest of us.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Vomiting risk. Great...

 

[MeltingHeart]

SN has a much higher risk of vomiting than SA which lowers its reliability despite the antiemetics. If everything went smooth SN is the way. But people vomit it up more. Also due to my antiemetic I cant take the acid reducer and that's lowering its effectiveness.

SA is brutal and destroys Everything in your body. Necrosis. But it's 99% certain and although it destroys you more than SN where the biggest risk is brain damage from being saved later on....Exit is right almost no one survives a high dose of SA. No one. I found one report of survival of high dose but anything over 3 grams in medical reports was nope gone.

Im worried of vomiting SN then what happens? versus a more horrible but nearly guaranteed outcome from SA.

Kind of sounds like you are going for SA then-but also really not sure about that?- but ive seen you write almost the above same post many many times now, yes SA is brutal and destroys everything in your body- I hate to be so frank about it -but that is kind of the objective when you are trying to ctb. I've seen you repeatedly write how awful and painful SA is too. So it sounds like both SA and SN cause you to have alot of worry- have you looked into any other methods? mind you unfortuntely they ALL carry a certain amount of risk...such is the nature of the beast I guess.

 

[CrushedHopes]

It just scares me that I can vomit SN and fail and end up with problems if I don't call for help. And calling equals sanctioned.

But taking SA from a non confirmed supplier can end up way worse I'd expect. It very well may be SA. But where it's coming from and the almost non existence of the supplier is sketchy

If you're planning to off yourself, then should you vomit on the first SN glass, you *should* keep going and drink that second backup glass too, to ensure that you won't be alive. But chances are, you won't have to because SN is reliable provided that you follow all the steps.

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

It just scares me that I can vomit SN and fail and end up with problems if I don't call for help. And calling equals sanctioned.

But taking SA from a non confirmed supplier can end up way worse I'd expect. It very well may be SA. But where it's coming from and the almost non existence of the supplier is sketchy

You've stated that fear over the past few days.

Please if you are still feeling like this then you need to find another method, if you are this anxious now then I feel you will only panic after drinking the SN and it will cause you a lot of discomfort and regret.

There is nothing more this forum can do to further reduce your fears.

Just to add, it is completely normal for someone to feel anxious and fearful about ctb. It's a big decision to make. I myself, am anxious about how I will handle the SN when the time comes, and how much of a panic I may or may not be in, but I know the risks and I accept them.

Just my opinion from your posts, but I personally do not think SN is the method for you. Fully up to you, but just my two cents. I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me... however I think all of these public posts stating the same worries over and over will only cause anxiety and panic in new members or those contemplating SN.

 

[CrushedHopes]

^
Exactly. Choosing your own death is a big decision, but you should really take a deep breath and think things through. Please. You know what you could do to reduce the chances of vomiting - you've been told many times. My question is whether or not you're actually listening.

 

[FallenX]

You've stated that fear over the past few days.

Please if you are still feeling like this then you need to find another method, if you are this anxious now then I feel you will only panic after drinking the SN and it will cause you a lot of discomfort and regret.

There is nothing more this forum can do to further reduce your fears.

Just to add, it is completely normal for someone to feel anxious and fearful about ctb. It's a big decision to make. I myself, am anxious about how I will handle the SN when the time comes, and how much of a panic I may or may not be in, but I know the risks and I accept them.

Just my opinion from your posts, but I personally do not think SN is the method for you. Fully up to you, but just my two cents. I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me... however I think all of these public posts stating the same worries over and over will only cause anxiety and panic in new members or those contemplating SN.

If I didn't fear meto giving me dystonia or extrapyramidal effects which are likely in my case due to past history then it would be an easy choice for SN. Not being able to use acid reducers really makes me question its reliability

 

[CrushedHopes]

If I didn't fear meto giving me dystonia or extrapyramidal effects which are likely in my case due to past history then it would be an easy choice for SN. Not being able to use acid reducers really makes me question its reliability

Okay, *now* we're getting somewhere. This wasn't mentioned before. Maybe you should consider other CTB methods, in that case.

 

[FallenX]

Okay, *now* we're getting somewhere. This wasn't mentioned before. Maybe you should consider other CTB methods, in that case.

I can't. It's SN or SA. N isn't possible can't risk losing 900$

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

If I didn't fear meto giving me dystonia or extrapyramidal effects which are likely in my case due to past history then it would be an easy choice for SN. Not being able to use acid reducers really makes me question its reliability

As @CrushedHopes said, this is new so we are getting somewhere.

I suggest if you still want to go down the route of SN, make 2/3 glasses of it as suggested in the guide made by @Stan so that if you are sick, there is another glass there to drink.

According to his guide, 20g and 50ml of water for an average sized person. If you're scared about the amount being absorbed being too low due to not having access to an acid reducer, maybe try 25g? Perhaps 30g?

Stan has stated that the acid reducer is not necessary, however increases the reliability. Again, know the risks and accept them. If not, find another method.

Otherwise, as above, another method would probably suit you more.

Hope this doesn't sound too harsh.

 

[CaptainT]

We've been over this together @FallenX. It has worked for others without the acid reducer. Just fast, up the dose of SN, trust your domperidone.

Or it's also worked where people have used domperidone and an acid reducer. Using the regime with domperidone and an over-the-counter antacid.

I agree it's not a good idea to keep bringing up these same questions over and over. You're freaking yourself out and others on here.

Choose your method. Make peace with it. And if you're still feeling the fear, it might well be that your survival instinct is telling you to give life another go.

 

[FallenX]

We've been over this together @FallenX. It has worked for others without the acid reducer. Just fast, up the dose of SN, trust your domperidone.

Or it's also worked where people have used domperidone and an acid reducer. Using the regime with domperidone and an over-the-counter antacid.

I agree it's not a good idea to keep bringing up these same questions over and over. You're freaking yourself out and others on here.

Choose your method. Make peace with it. And if you're still feeling the fear, it might well be that your survival instinct is telling you to give life another go.

Acid reducer with Domperidone Increases chance of vomiting. I'm confident in my decision just not my method. There's zero accounts here of people taking azide nor in the PPH. Medical reports show its Brutal but you die.

 

[jgm63]

For the SN method, can you get access to some Benzos also ?
That should help.
Can you put together a full protocol, including the anti-emetic, antacid, benzos, plus pain killers (Paracetamol or Ibuprofen) ?
( You could perhaps even include the beta blockers if you can get access to them )

If you put together a well thought out regime, then there should be a very good chance of the SN protocol going smoothly.....

However, even a basic regime will still probably be fine, provided you include the anti-emetic.....

A key part of it would also be to remain as calm as possible....
You could learn some simple basic meditation techniques to help with that.....

Spoiler: Barry Long | Start Meditating NOW

 

[Stan]

(Stan walks into thread and decides to do the right thing)

 

[MeltingHeart]

(Stan walks into thread and decides to do the right thing)

View attachment 18910

I don't laugh much these days- but that worked!

 

[trynacbt]

Acid reducer with Domperidone Increases chance of vomiting. I'm confident in my decision just not my method. There's zero accounts here of people taking azide nor in the PPH. Medical reports show its Brutal but you die.

Can I ask what you mean when you say you have a history of side effects with meto?

 

[MeltingHeart]

@FallenX - there was a thread earlier today about peoples chosen method before finding SS- did you consider any other options before finding these methods on SS? Just curious what else might have crossed yr mind & as such bought you to this forum? Its a difficult state of mind to be in for sure. I can understand that- just good to weigh up all the options I guess.