Can you plan

[Leiden]

How do people plan to CTB? To me it is only viable in a state of absolute hysterics and in a moment where you lose your mind so badly you just do it. Planning is probably the smart way, but for me, ide have to be completely out of my mind in that moment to do so. I could never say, okay, on the 5th of June, I'm going to do it. CTB isn't tangible that way for me.

Does anyone else feel like this...tht they could never set a date and do all the planning, but that it just has to come In a moment of complete and utter insanity, when you are no longer you and the darkness has just completely taken over?

 

[orlandom]

I couldn't have planned this for months to come. But planning for day two or three in advance is okay for me.

 

[GarageKarate07]

How do people plan to CTB? To me it is only viable in a state of absolute hysterics and in a moment where you lose your mind so badly you just do it. Planning is probably the smart way, but for me, ide have to be completely out of my mind in that moment to do so. I could never say, okay, on the 5th of June, I'm going to do it. CTB isn't tangible that way for me.

Does anyone else feel like this...tht they could never set a date and do all the planning, but that it just has to come In a moment of complete and utter insanity, when you are no longer you and the darkness has just completely taken over?

The "planning" is there to help ensure death. This way when the time comes you can get drunk, take your pain/ sleep meds, and take your method out of the box and execute. I think "dates" fail very very often but I bet the actual numbers would surprise us if we had a means to get them and show actual CTB on a persons certain date being fulfilled.

 

[Fehler]

I think the best thing is to have things prepared (notes, method and what is necessary to practice it, pending things ...) and calmly think about the moment, be it an exact day or a week. Now I have the first week of May as an idea, depending on the month I would postpone it or take it at once. In my case I couldn't impulsively, I would like to, but as I am I don't think it would happen ... I like to have it planned; on the one hand, it reassures me.

 

[smithy]

for me is actually a mix of the two.
i would like to plan for peace of mind and have that moment of utter insanity to actually go for it.

 

[Whole-Ad]

I never plan for a specific date. But I have spent the past month planning out 2 different suicide methods in as much detail as I can so that I know they will succeed when I need them. When I need them will be as you say, in a state where I've lost my mind.

Right now I can think much more clearly than I can when I'm acting on urges and thoughts, and therefore it is much easier for me to rationally plan my methods to ensure they work and I do not survive.

It's also not just planning out the methods, but writing out a suicide note if you wish to do so, funeral plans that you may have it you care enough about that, and what you want done with all of your stuff. Planning all of this means everything is already organised and ready for me to end my life when the time does come.

 

[Leiden]

I never plan for a specific date. But I have spent the past month planning out 2 different suicide methods in as much detail as I can so that I know they will succeed when I need them. When I need them will be as you say, in a state where I've lost my mind.

Right now I can think much more clearly than I can when I'm acting on urges and thoughts, and therefore it is much easier for me to rationally plan my methods to ensure they work and I do not survive.

It's also not just planning out the methods, but writing out a suicide note if you wish to do so, funeral plans that you may have it you care enough about that, and what you want done with all of your stuff. Planning all of this means everything is already organised and ready for me to end my life when the time does come.

Perfectly said.

for me is actually a mix of the two.
i would like to plan for peace of mind and have that moment of utter insanity to actually go for it.

Yes, to have the plan but to need that insanity to actually go for it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think suicide requires planning in terms of the method, as supplies might be needed etc and it reduces the chance of a failed attempt. I just think once that is out of the way then it can be quite an impulsive act, maybe something has triggered the need to cbt. I think some methods like jumping have been done probably more on impulse.

 

[BornBrief]

I have a cat and things I want to do/try before I finally take my leave. I need to make sure my kitty has a safe place to stay when I CTB since I don't really have much regular contact with people where I'm from... Definitely not family. It's been a month since I've spoken with any family member. Hard to say when I will even be found without also setting up times emails/tweets to indicate what I've done. I absolutely won't be telling anyone.. probably people here...

I have a friend who I know I can trust to take good care of my cat at least. I know he would adopt him in a heartbeat. He is always asking to let him watch him for a bit since he did for 8 months while I was between apartments and really bonded with him.

I have been hysterical to where I have wanted to do it impulsively... But the only option I could think to do in that case is hanging/partial suspension and it scares me. I also couldn't figure it out without getting the head explosion feeling.

SN if I can get it seems the best otherwise I will have to try my best with suspension

 

[M.M]

You can separate the activities.

1. Make an elaborate plan, including its execution scope (how many days, needed preparation etc).
2. When the inspiration strikes, you could follow the plan immediately with expected results.

 

[Leiden]

You can separate the activities.

1. Make an elaborate plan, including its execution scope (how many days, needed preparation etc).
2. When the inspiration strikes, you could follow the plan immediately with expected results.

Yes, this is what I will do. Have the plan so it gets done right, but wait for the moment that would make it possible for me to even do it. I could never pick a day.

 

[sebasto]

I felt just like you but now.. Idk man i'm numb, my mind is dark and empty, nothing matters anymore and I will just ctb without thinking about anything when my SN arrives.

 

[Leiden]

I felt just like you but now.. Idk man i'm numb, my mind is dark and empty, nothing matters anymore and I will just ctb without thinking about anything when my SN arrives.

Every second I wish I was gone. There's not one minute where I'm like, this ain't so bad. It is bad, so bad, and I truly hate every second of it. It's been this way for about 6 years now and before that there were times of some happiness, excitement, joy, hope, ext. I can't imagine what that feels like anymore, but at the same time, I remember how they feel and it tortures me. If you can know what I mean. My mind is so dark too and it gets so tiring just being. I'm so sorry that you are going through what you are and I know this doesn't help, at all, but I'm sending you a hug, from my heart

 

[Leshen]

I'm apathetic, to me it's something that I will be forced to do at some point so I better prepare and do it right. A grim fucking prospect, but not the worst way to go.
Look up "George Carlin - Suicide" on youtube - it's like that, pretty much no emotions involved.

 

[Rue89]

I can't ctb impulsively because I live with family. I have to wait until I get enough time alone which very rarely happens. A weekend is coming up that my mom will be away. My brother will still be home, but I think I could still do it. I really hope I'll be in the right mindset to go through with it. I'll hate myself even more if I don't. I wish I could do it impulsively. I think it would be easier.