can you be mad at someone who’s protecting your feelings?

[overthrone]

A little bit ago, I asked a guy out. He told me he was gay so I let it go. Now, he's dating a girl. I talked to friends about it, and one of them said "He was probably just trying to protect your feelings. You can't be mad at him for that." What do you guys think? Can you be mad at somebody for trying to protect your feelings?

 

[LilGhost]

Id say he could have been not sure about his sexual orientation. I was thinking I was straight, pan, bi, aroace, lesbian in different periods of my life, so he might have been truthful at the time (even if the time period was like a week difference). I understand that must have suck, but id advise you to just not think about it to much. There could have been many reasons why he said no, so its just easier to let it go ngl

 

[Jadeith]

I suppose it kinda depends on your preferences. Personally, i don't like to be lied to. Too many people, even closed ones, did this for this alleged protection. I definitely prefer to hear "no, i don't think it will work out, we're incompatible, no chemistry etc" than "oh no, i'm gay" when they see me and then go super straight when i'm not around. Rejection sucks, true, but it is mine to take.

 

[Bikishii]

Recently, I had a family member reach out to two of the medical/mental health professionals involved in my care out of unwarranted concern for me. I understand that they were doing this with good intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. This person tried to do good, but just pushed me further away from them. "Saving my feelings" by expressing worry to people who should focus on me and not them, and being too cowardly to actually say anything to my face about this, well...

 

[FoxSauce]

I rather the person has no filter and just gives to me straight

A little bit ago, I asked a guy out. He told me he was gay so I let it go. Now, he's dating a girl. I talked to friends about it, and one of them said "He was probably just trying to protect your feelings. You can't be mad at him for that." What do you guys think? Can you be mad at somebody for trying to protect your feelings?

Excuse me what?

 

[SASU-KE]

A little bit ago, I asked a guy out. He told me he was gay so I let it go. Now, he's dating a girl. I talked to friends about it, and one of them said "He was probably just trying to protect your feelings. You can't be mad at him for that." What do you guys think? Can you be mad at somebody for trying to protect your feelings

He tried to not hurt your feelings, I guess it will still hurt but can't be entirely mad at him for that.

At least he tried to be considerate. But that excuse is still stupid though.

 

[Zura]

i think one should be honest i mean if you find the courage to tell how you feel about him it would be nice if he was honest and just put it straight how it is but i guess being mad about it really wont accomplish much
i mean if i ask a girl out and she rejects me she doesnt really owe me an explaination it is what it is i guess but you shoot your shot so respect for that and then whatever happens happens i guess
also just wanted to share your banner is really cool did you animate it? regardless it looks cool af and i love the transition when it turns into a helicopter

 

[overthrone]

i think one should be honest i mean if you find the courage to tell how you feel about him it would be nice if he was honest and just put it straight how it is but i guess being mad about it really wont accomplish much
i mean if i ask a girl out and she rejects me she doesnt really owe me an explaination it is what it is i guess but you shoot your shot so respect for that and then whatever happens happens i guess
also just wanted to share your banner is really cool did you animate it? regardless it looks cool af and i love the transition when it turns into a helicopter

thanks lol, i didnt make it but i found it on pinterest by chance

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

A little bit ago, I asked a guy out. He told me he was gay so I let it go. Now, he's dating a girl. I talked to friends about it, and one of them said "He was probably just trying to protect your feelings. You can't be mad at him for that." What do you guys think? Can you be mad at somebody for trying to protect your feelings?

I can see why this has felt frustrating for you, he should've just been honest, there was no reason to lie in this moment. He could've said "Oh, sorry, but I don't feel the same."

It's okay to be mad, it's okay to feel your feelings. What isn't okay is to take them out on others. Not that I'm saying you would.

I'm sorry that this happened to you and I hope you feel better soon.