Can I still change and be something

[DoomedDarkCircles]

I'm 22, unemployed, almost concluding college (kinda late and dragging my feet and feeling really disconnected) and I spended most of my life doomscrolling and doing useless stuff. Suicide has been on my mind as my likely end and as a solution since I was a child, and my mental state is kinda of a mess since then too (depressed and suspected OCD, autism and ADHD). My mother and father as a family were very troublesome, but now they're separated and I live with my father, and it's calm — both my parents are getting better too. My mind has always been troubled and I seriously considered suicide from 2022 to this year, but I discovered things I'm interested and I want to accomplish, even if I'm still not doing fine.

I want to change, but I feel I'm so fucking behind: my parents have PhD and stuff besides being psychologically unstable, and the rest of my family is doing great, too. My peers are also in a good place in life. And I'm here, promising myself I will change, but I always come back to square one. I didn't accomplished anything yet and I really wasted my entire life.

There is still hope for me?

 

[hurts2b-old]

Well there's a lot of people doing a whole lot worse than you. Dragging your feet or not, you're still in school. Normal people don't accomplish anything by 22. It's fine. I really don't see why you think you're done for.

 

[Heavy_Metals117]

I'm in a very similar situation to you. I'm 22, (about to be 23) had to drop out of college 3 times because of money issues, my partner of 6 years cheated on me and left me because I wasn't changing and it was too much for her to keep worrying about my potential suicide. I moved to another state to be with my family. I have depression and anxiety, I also suspect I'm autistic, (one of my few friends from high school who I was close to was diagnosed) have attempted to ctb about 4 times in my life, and I'm starting completely over.

It's not too late even though it really seems like it is. I know it's super hard to change, and sometimes it's hard to even want to change, but it's still possible.

I'm completely changing course from music to trying to get a CDL so I can have a career. Even though it wasn't my dream and I'm incredibly scared of this change in my life, it's actually working out so far. Maybe you need a new direction for your life (maybe don't quit college though lol). In the end it's your choice.

There's so much time left in our lives to accomplish things and to meet people. Maybe talking to your parents could help if they're the supportive and understanding sort. Going to a therapist could also help, if anything you could get diagnosed with any problems. That in tandem with medication could be a huge help. It helps me, even if only some.

It really does come down to you though. You have to believe that it's possible and make little efforts every day. Consistency I think is key.

Good luck.

 

[faustino]

You're only 22 and have so much time to figure things out. Feels weird saying that considering I'm only 32. We're both still so young! As hurts2b said, many people have it worse than we do. Focus on those things you're interested in and the goals you want to accomplish. A book I recently started reading which has helped give me a different perspective on living in uncertainty you might find some comfort in reading which is called - Letting go: The pathway of surrender. It's not very long and I highly recommend it. https://dougdaller.com/Books/DavidH...er//Letting Go - The Pathway of Surrender.pdf

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

At 22? Ha! Of course! I'm turning 37 this month and not even sweating it anymore. Life is long.

 

[Celerity]

For sure. I am a completely different person than I was at 22. Life has gotten a lot more complex but also easier. I really turned a corner in the last couple of years. I am 33. There are still days I despair quite a bit. I am still on this site, after all, but I am doing leagues better than I did in my 20s where pretty much everything was a crisis.

A big part of it is observing the foibles of other people and really reflecting upon them. It's a bit of schadenfreude, but I realize I am not half as bad as I had believed. I have a lot going for me. I try to do more right than wrong. I can't say the same for a lot of people I meet out and about. Just look at the state of the world and all of the stupid shit people do. If you you really want a trip, pay attention to the people who seem "successful" and like they have it all figured out. Just like real wealth, happiness whispers. It doesn't shout.

 

[JoeFailure]

Dude, you're only 22. Try being 42 and being lost.

Not saying just sit back and do nothing because you're still so young, but just understand that you are really young, just start taking positive steps. Fuck everyone else, just start now.

 

[burninghill]

Your title made me very emotional and I felt even more touched when I read that you're 22. I'm 20. I promise you that you have so much time to be something. Most of my friends don't even know what they want and I'm in a course that I'm not even sure is right for me.

We've conjured a society where young people are forced to grow up fast, you're expected in school to have a career path in mind the minute you turn 16 (at least here in the UK, because then you go on to further education) but it's okay to be lost or not to know.

The fact you have things that you want to accomplish means there's still hope for you. Don't compare your life other people's in a way to put yourself down, it won't do you any good. You have so much time and you can do whatever you set your mind to.