N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,993
I think many don't have a clue about mentally ill people. Though I have also met people who recognized I was psychotic during an episode. These people had psychotic people in their family. Though I once had a psychotic outbreak in front of another person. I asked them why they are bullying me and told them my life story. The next day I have met that dude and he asked me why I had this nervous breakdown. He had no clue I was mentally ill and I was stunned about that. People seemingly rather care about their own life and problems afterall. I am partly glad about that. I hope the people forget these embarassing events. I get really a lot of suicidal thoughts when I think about the events of my psychosis. My life humiliates me so hard.
Damn I cringe so hard today. I remember my second psychosis I did so embarassing things. I was extremely suicidal because I was so ashamed afterwards. Though I was stunned. I thought everyone knew I was mentally ill. But I asked another woman who knew the truth and she told me noone would think I was mentally ill. I was absolutely puzzled about that. For me it was so damn obvious. But if you are psychotic you think of yourself as the center of the universe.
I try to hide the fact I am mentally ill to most people. Though some people know the truth. There was an incident with a lecturer recently. I think he already forgot it. I was paranoid and starred at him. He was very irritated during that lecture. Today we talked about the fact that I might leave the course due to my mental state. He was neither really empathetic nor cold. I did not fully open up. I did not want to show him how really desperate and in pain I am. I don't want that he pities me for that fact. If I stay he will help me a little bit. I expected more but we did not come to the final conclusion.
To the question of the title it probably depends which condition you have. (Severely) Depressive, manic or only hypomanic, psychotic etc. Moreover it depends on the symptoms and on the individual case.
I think many people don't have a lot of education on mental illness. Which is good if you want to hide it just as me. The people can be pretty ignorant. Which obviously also has disadvantages. There is a lack of understanding and empathy for people like us.
Damn I cringe so hard today. I remember my second psychosis I did so embarassing things. I was extremely suicidal because I was so ashamed afterwards. Though I was stunned. I thought everyone knew I was mentally ill. But I asked another woman who knew the truth and she told me noone would think I was mentally ill. I was absolutely puzzled about that. For me it was so damn obvious. But if you are psychotic you think of yourself as the center of the universe.
I try to hide the fact I am mentally ill to most people. Though some people know the truth. There was an incident with a lecturer recently. I think he already forgot it. I was paranoid and starred at him. He was very irritated during that lecture. Today we talked about the fact that I might leave the course due to my mental state. He was neither really empathetic nor cold. I did not fully open up. I did not want to show him how really desperate and in pain I am. I don't want that he pities me for that fact. If I stay he will help me a little bit. I expected more but we did not come to the final conclusion.
To the question of the title it probably depends which condition you have. (Severely) Depressive, manic or only hypomanic, psychotic etc. Moreover it depends on the symptoms and on the individual case.
I think many people don't have a lot of education on mental illness. Which is good if you want to hide it just as me. The people can be pretty ignorant. Which obviously also has disadvantages. There is a lack of understanding and empathy for people like us.
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