CAGED LIKE AN ANIMAL

[Unattainable666]

I hate my life and I hate myself. I'm so terrified of failure that I can't even try. I want out so badly out of a miserable existence where I am trapped. Every day I wake up the hatred seeps through every pore of my body and every inch of my soul. I'm older (60s), should be brave enough to try, but I've failed at everything in my life and the expectation is that Ill fail at this too. When I go to sleep at night my only wish is that I not wake up. I am tortured every day I breathe. I just want this miserable fucking existence over. 30 plus years of pure hell. She waits for me I know she does. My little girl - but I'm so terrified of failure that I don't even try. I find myself daydreaming of jumping off the 14th floor where I work; or stepping in front of a bus, maybe jumping out of a balloon. Something - anything to release me from this pain. I fucking hate my life and I fucking hate myself for not being brave enough. For all of those who are gone - I have the highest respect for you. Please just let me die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here, a suicide attempt going wrong is also what I would fear, the thought of such a thing is terrifying. It's just so horrible how we cannot easily die in peace despite the fact that existence just causes suffering, it's such a hellish world.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that you have to suffer so much in life and SI causes you so much trouble. I hope you find the strength you need and u find peace.

 

[R_N]

You are not a failure just because of societys made up standards. Fuck their crap.

None of us is a "failure" or "success" just because someone else who is going to lose everything one day and rot said so. They are not better off forever.

That aside I am sorry that you have to suffer. One day it will end for all of us at least. By our own hand or "naturally".