Bye (at some point tonight)

[bluedream]

I've officially run out of excuses not to, and my plan for tonight is to make the drive to my parents house (it's empty, nobody lives there anymore) play some old video games, play guitar maybe, and try to have slightly happier night because today was... not happy and i need to go but i want to try to end it on lighter note.

It's like 10 where I am, but I feel very energetic for some reason and weirdly sure about things tonight, like just suddenly I'm very clear headed in a way thats hard to explain. Like I'm not dreading later tonight and the things i was worried about matter much less and all thats really valuable to me right now is doing something meaningful and nice in the next few hours or so.

I didn't wanna make a post to talk about my method or reason for wanting to die or anything I just plan on updating or replying to this throughout the next few hours, to sort of document my thoughts.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

we're here with you. I hope you find the relief and peace you seek update us if you are able. sending hugs.

 

[fleetingnight]

I think it's a nice idea to do things you like and relax before ending things. I'm really sorry life hasn't worked out for you, though. I hope the night goes exactly the way you want it to.

 

[Call_of-the_Void]

Wishing you the best, man! Have a good time reliving those good memories. You deserve to be happy.

 

[zekeyaeger]

Wish you well, hope you find peace.

 

[TheDissapointment]

I hope things work out for you, bro. If not, there's always tomorrow. Wishing you the best! If and when I go, I hope to do the same. Enjoy this time for yourself and good luck!

 

[bluedream]

Thank you all for the replies, I'm here now, relaxing and playing games. talking to people i care about. greateful for the kind words.

 

[athiestjoe]

Hoping that everything goes smoothly and without a hitch. Good luck with whatever you decide and we're always here for you. But if you do I hope you have a safe travels and get all the peace & serenity you might be seeking.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck and all the best! I hope u find peace!

 

[tara44]

good luck and i hope you find peace wherever you are going.

 

[bluedream]

I feel more carefree despite some worries, the concerns i do have arent lingering tonight, theyre just a topic of dicussion in a conversation so theyre still on my mind but they bother me much less right now.

It's easier for me to eat, i struggle with disordered eating and restrict heavily most of the time but ive been snacking tonight. I'm trying to have a normal, peaceful night, ill probably go through my nightly routine (skincare, brushing teeth, bedtime routine) before i go.

 

[Csmith8827]

Hey I've seen you in chat before and talked with you. I guess you changed your pfp. I honestly wish you the best and hope you are successful.

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

Hey I chatted with you a little tonight. You mentioned driving and playing games but I'm just now seeing the thread so I didn't know the significance of that. I'm sorry for everything that has happened. If you decide to go through with it I hope it's swift and you're at peace.

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.