Venting Bullets

[Why you?]

We're supposed to take bullets for people we love, right??

Not me.

I mean it's true. But I would take a bullet anyways. But taking a bullet for someone else is a better excuse. So.

There are so many things I want to say. But everything is so full of shit. The reason I'm 'depressed' is because my parents believe in me. They believe in a girl who has so much 'potential' and is capable of accomplishing 'great things.'

I'm depressed because they want me to be successful.

But I can't give them that. 'Cause I'm worth shit.

One of my friends (Who is currently under medication for anorexia and bulimia) asked me what things/people I wanna live for. I mean, there's gotta be something, right?? My only motivation was books and Netflix. So I can make myself miserable by watching shit like Eliott and Lucas' love story.

Whenever my mother talks about my future, I just think "assuming I'm alive till then"

And this just sucks. But almost all of me thinks I deserve this. But someone in the back of ind keeps asking me, "What did I do?" Like, good luck getting an answer to that. I'm hungry, but I don't wanna eat. I'm tired no matter how much I sleep. I'm miserable nut I can't cry. And I'm scared to live but I'm also scared to die.

 

[Oyoy]

I was encouraged to be great by my supportive yet neglectful parents. I really wish I was abused by someone else so I wouldn't be the one to abuse myself.

 

[Why you?]

I was encouraged to be great by my supportive yet neglectful parents. I really wish I was abused by someone else so I wouldn't be the one to abuse myself.

This is exactly my situation here.