Help Breaking up before CTB

[nihilist_fool]

I'm not engaged or married, but I'm in a long term relationship with someone I love dearly.

I know they'll get over me eventually, find someone else, work things out with their therapist, etc. Short-mid term this will be absolutely devastating for them.

Has anyone considered breaking up with their SO or cutting ties with close friends? My goal is to things as easy and quickly as possible for them, and breaking up anywhere between a week to a month before a set in stone date might aid this. I've gotten psychiatric help in the past, and this isn't something I want. Even if I were to survive it would not be healthy for them to be with someone who is very mentally and physically sick, and will not try or be successful in trying to live a life worth living.

And of course leaving would make things a lot easier for me since I wouldn't feel as guilty or second guess myself after I make the go-ahead on the plan.

 

[faust]

Hit in the spot! I am thinking about that as well.
And still don't know how it would be better.
I think break up is less painful than knowing that your loved one CTB. But at the same time I want to show her that she is the only one who I love. I never lied her about my love, she was the only person why I stay there for such a long time. I don't want to betray her and don't want her to suffer

 

[drake4871]

I broke up with my SO but I naturally didn't tell them why. It did not go so well, but I think I saved them a lot of pain in the long run. It's a lot easier doing this single lol

 

[nihilist_fool]

Hit in the spot! I am thinking about that as well.
And still don't know how it would be better.
I think break up is less painful than knowing that your loved one CTB. But at the same time I want to show her that she is the only one who I love. I never lied her about my love, she was the only person why I stay there for such a long time. I don't want to betray her and don't want her to suffer

I guess I don't want to "widow" them. I can't describe it very well. I think it's mostly about making it easier for myself. You put not wanting to betray your SO with suicide but still wanting to let them know that you love them pretty well though. There's not much winning with these options.

 

[faust]

I guess I don't want to "widow" them. I can't describe it very well. I think it's mostly about making it easier for myself. You put not wanting to betray your SO with suicide but still wanting to let them know that you love them pretty well though. There's not much winning with these options.

Yes, you are right. Especially when you know that your love potentially has BPD

 

[OddOne]

Dont have to worry about breaking up. Face is too ugly. Lolz.

Anyway I can divorce my mother that she doesnt feel hurt?

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I wouldn't do this, but that's just my opinion.

There's no way I could be recently dumped by someone who ctb and still not suffer all the guilt and confusion I would if we were still together.

It might even be worse because as an ex, they're less likely to get the sympathy and support they need from friends and family.

I don't think I'd make any big changes but I'd leave a hell of a note explaining that it had nothing to do with the love I received from him/her.

This is just my opinion, though. Only you know how the person in your life might be better served.