She Lost Her Way
Member
- Dec 2, 2021
- 6
Still pretty new here. Have been having suicidal ideation since 14. I also have BPD and ADHD with manifestations of depressions of anxiety. Well, anyway, my partner, with whom I felt happiness for the first time broke up with me because of my BPD (and his on issues). He was the first person I have ever had feelings toward. No matter how lame it sounds, now that we are not together and I cannot just force him into loving me. I feel incredibly suicidal. And it's been a fairly long time. He was my family, my on;y friend, the only person who I have slept with who didn't traumatized me.
I would rather go for N or, at least, SN. But I don't have the means, so PS is all I have.
I have been hurting him a lot recently with mt suicidal threats. That's the only way I can stop hurting both of us. So, partial suspension tips! Thank you :)
Going for it tonight, hopefully. This community is all I have. I am very sorry if I sound too dramatic. Believe me, I am not :)
I would rather go for N or, at least, SN. But I don't have the means, so PS is all I have.
I have been hurting him a lot recently with mt suicidal threats. That's the only way I can stop hurting both of us. So, partial suspension tips! Thank you :)
Going for it tonight, hopefully. This community is all I have. I am very sorry if I sound too dramatic. Believe me, I am not :)