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knighterrant

knighterrant

Member
Dec 27, 2024
13
460 how is your mood (if you don't want to talk, sorry)
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,491
460 how is your mood (if you don't want to talk, sorry)
459. At the moment I am tired and exhausted emotionally. I don't know if I will be able to get what I want to be able to live a life that would be manageable and just think that me dying is for the best as if after death is non-existence then I could just die now as I wouldn't care if I wasn't able to do the stuff I wanted and can avoid any future suffering. I also don't know if I can even ctb as my parents don't allow me to go outside or buy things that I could use to die and the one method I have access to I don't even know if it will work or if I can do it.
 
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knighterrant

knighterrant

Member
Dec 27, 2024
13
460 I also wonder about the issue of life after death but I think even if there was, you wouldn't be aware of your previous life. unless you mean something like hell. But can hell be worse than what we're going through now? in terms of ctb my situation is quite simple, I don't have much contact with my parents, just as much as needed for existence. In reality they have almost no idea about me
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,491
460 I also wonder about the issue of life after death but I think even if there was, you wouldn't be aware of your previous life. unless you mean something like hell. But can hell be worse than what we're going through now? in terms of ctb my situation is quite simple, I don't have much contact with my parents, just as much as needed for existence. In reality they have almost no idea about me
459 I don't think if hell exists it would be worse than this. I imagine it be described as torture is a lie to incentivise people not suicide or do bad things. I am sorry if you wish for your family to care about you more. My family knows about me being mentally ill and suicidal and so restrict me to prevent ctb but it just make mes feel worse.
 
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knighterrant

knighterrant

Member
Dec 27, 2024
13
460 It may seem sad but it's easier this way. This world is no longer for me, I'm ready to take the risk. Even if there is a possibility that after death I will suffer endlessly. I think it's worth the risk.
 
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GlassMoon

GlassMoon

Once more, with feelings...
Nov 18, 2024
267
461 and welcome to the game @knighterrant !
 
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