Venting boredom in this hell

[physics]

Everything seems boring, at this point I feel like a mannequin. Only things I do in boredom is sleep since I'm alone all the time. Even my ex stated "you're such a bore out of anger when 7 months in our relationship", lmao I broke up (this was 4 months ago) and had no "missing her". I feel isolated even though I talk to my friends, I eat but I'm never mentally hungry, I'm just a fake person. I cannot escape this crippling boredom without CTB, can't even get the resources for CTB here easily. This world is a hell.
I sometimes plan on telling my "friends" indirectly that I'm pretending to like them so that when I CTB they wouldn't care much

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here certainly can be so torturous, I find it so horrible how it's purposely made so difficult to be free from everything, it must be so dreadful feeling trapped in that situation.

 

[physics]

Existing here certainly can be so torturous, I find it so horrible how it's purposely made so difficult to be free from everything,

I feel you. How are you and your situation?

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

I relate a lot. Sleeping is also what I try to do. But when extremely bored, even that can be hard, or maybe it's just that my body is incapable of sleeping more after already having slept 15hours.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel you. How are you and your situation?

I'm still just tired of feeling trapped in the same futile and undesirable existence as usual, dreading what lies ahead and always wishing for eternal sleep.

 

[physics]

I'm still just tired of feeling trapped in the same futile and undesirable existence as usual, dreading what lies ahead and always wishing for eternal sleep.

that sucks, sorry if this is rude but why not CTB then?

 

[RasinBoxECT]

I'm right there with you. My depression has killed my interest in pretty much everything. I've got one or two things left to cross of my bucket list but I don't expect them to help. I'm just kind of hoping they will. And if not I'll ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

that sucks, sorry if this is rude but why not CTB then?

There are people who frequently ask this question and seem unaware of how difficult suicide is so I made a thread that explains this. Sadly suicide isn't as straightforward as just choosing to leave this world.

I cannot stand it when people say that suicide is easy

This is one of the ignorant things that irritates me about people, it’s annoying when even on here some people assume that suicide is easy for everyone and say things like “if you hate life so much then why are you still here”, “how could you not have ctb yet” and it genuinely confuses me why...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[future.]

facts...i actually gave up on suicide