Black gloom 😞😞😞

[devisdead]

I just want some barbiturates so that I can get out of this terrible mess, chaos, confusion and suffering that people call life. My mind is mostly numb these days. I have been taking medicines for OCD, anxiety and depression for quite some time now. I feel miserable when I don't take them; I feel miserable when I take them. It seems there's no escape for me. I just wish there were suicide centers all over the world that helped people to die peacefully. The best way to kill the inner demons is to kill the mind, brain, body, self... everything. Non-existence seems the only solution to me now. To exist is to suffer - physically, cerebrally, emotionally, and even spiritually. Human life is filled with chaos, conflict, fear, physical pain, strained relationships, work burdens, social responsibilities, financial worries, spiritual conflicts.... then old age, dementia, stroke, brittle bones, fracture from a sudden fall, coma, brain death... then Poof! Gone forever. Nothing remains. All that remains are bones in a coffin, or a heap of ash at the other end of a furnace. In my culture, we take a fistful of that ash, put it in an urn, then upturn the urn in a holy river - acts that are as absurd as everything that precedes them. You are born one day, live for some time, then die one day. Plain and simple. All that falls in between are tiny crests of happiness, followed by troughs of black gloom.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is such a cruel and horrible life and it is sad how so many of us live lives filled with pain. Of course a peaceful exit from this life should be a human right, existence is completely pointless and unnecessary but at the same time so painful. There is no point to trying to force people to live lives filled with suffering all for the sake of it. Suicide could never be wrong as death is all we are intended for anyway. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through. To me it is awful how life is even a thing in the first place.

 

[devisdead]

It is such a cruel and horrible life and it is sad how so many of us live lives filled with pain. Of course a peaceful exit from this life should be a human right, existence is completely pointless and unnecessary but at the same time so painful. There is no point to trying to force people to live lives filled with suffering all for the sake of it. Suicide could never be wrong as death is all we are intended for anyway. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through. To me it is awful how life is even a thing in the first place.

Thanks a ton for the reply. A belated response from me, but thanks again. What I like about replies is that they provide new inputs to my thoughts.