Help Birthday misery

[Tiredandfedup]

So my birthday is happening in a few days and for some reason I can't get it out of my head that I don't want to live to see it. I can't bear getting older, I want to CTB before I start to feel the effects of aging. I also can't bear all the things I've lost - my family, my marriage, my job, my car, my house and my freedom and the weight of what I i was subjected to growing up is too much to carry. I'll never achieve what I wanted to achieve at my age... I can't see the point. Does anyone else feel like this?

 

[Goldie]

Birthdays are really hard to get through. I only started to get really serious about ctb as I approached and then past my birthday.

I hope you manage to ctb before your birthday :) or otherwise find peace.

 

[Thoughtforms]

My birthday is end of jan so I want to ctb before then. I've been depressed every on birthday since 17. Always feared getting old. Turning 30 was the worst one.

 

[Empty Smile]

I will be gone before mine at end of February. Still planning on the end of the year.

 

[NumbItAll]

My last couple birthdays have resulted in extreme anxiety and despair. I do not want any attention and I certainly don't want any accolades for surviving another miserable orbit. I hope I don't make it to the next one!

 

[Sinbad]

My birthday is coming up in a week and my family is most likely preparing something. They noticed my depression and how I withdrew myself from them and others. This is bothering me immensely.
I wish I could tell them I am killing myself soon so it's freaking pointless to invest any of your feelings in this nothing for good trash can full of shit.
But I can't do that I know my father. He will put me in a mental institute by force. We had a discussion about suicide before.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

Birthdays are the worst, they're just yearly reminders of an unwanted existence that I can't break free from.