Jupiturii
New Member
- Aug 13, 2025
- 3
This is no use for someone like me.
I stay strong for those who worry but what kind of good fortune could i possibly experience that would reverse all of my hurt.
There is none, there never will be. Its really useless to wait for someone or something to save me.
Being abandoned twice over by two families, being used, taken advantage of, abused, avoided, ignored. I've struggled since the beginning, my life will always be struggling.
I listen to the sounds of people, and i feel such deep envy. Sounds of talking, driving, laughter. I cant have those without some big repercussion. My happiness is only a distraction from the fact i'm bound for the edge.
I wish people wouldnt hurt me,
I wish people would be kinder to me
I wish people wouldnt ignore me
I dont exist, and when i do its to be the object to put your desires onto, or the target to direct your anger onto
No matter how much effort i put in i'll never leave this birdcage. I'll always be returned to it, there is no other life for me, life has shown me that. My purpose was to die in this tomb. This house is a tomb.
And when i am dead, no one will check for a couple of days. They'll think im sleeping. And when they do find out i'll be gone.
If there is an after I hope it's kinder.
I want to ctb before the end of the year.
What is there to live for, aside from anticipating when next i'll be hurt. When i'll get new scars on my skin. When I'll have another mental breakdown. When i'll have another panic attack.
No one cares if i live or die, thats why im abandoned.
I see— how they're happier, less worried when im not around. They completely forget about me.
It should be that way.
I'm wanting to do this for the benefit of everyone around me.
I understand my being here is a burden, I know that. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble.
I'll be heading out soon i promise.
Sleep is such a nice feeling.
I dont mind experiencing it for longer.
I stay strong for those who worry but what kind of good fortune could i possibly experience that would reverse all of my hurt.
There is none, there never will be. Its really useless to wait for someone or something to save me.
Being abandoned twice over by two families, being used, taken advantage of, abused, avoided, ignored. I've struggled since the beginning, my life will always be struggling.
I listen to the sounds of people, and i feel such deep envy. Sounds of talking, driving, laughter. I cant have those without some big repercussion. My happiness is only a distraction from the fact i'm bound for the edge.
I wish people wouldnt hurt me,
I wish people would be kinder to me
I wish people wouldnt ignore me
I dont exist, and when i do its to be the object to put your desires onto, or the target to direct your anger onto
No matter how much effort i put in i'll never leave this birdcage. I'll always be returned to it, there is no other life for me, life has shown me that. My purpose was to die in this tomb. This house is a tomb.
And when i am dead, no one will check for a couple of days. They'll think im sleeping. And when they do find out i'll be gone.
If there is an after I hope it's kinder.
I want to ctb before the end of the year.
What is there to live for, aside from anticipating when next i'll be hurt. When i'll get new scars on my skin. When I'll have another mental breakdown. When i'll have another panic attack.
No one cares if i live or die, thats why im abandoned.
I see— how they're happier, less worried when im not around. They completely forget about me.
It should be that way.
I'm wanting to do this for the benefit of everyone around me.
I understand my being here is a burden, I know that. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble.
I'll be heading out soon i promise.
Sleep is such a nice feeling.
I dont mind experiencing it for longer.
