Betrayal

[beingzettt]

Purposely induced fear, anyone here who was fearless before and now gotten worse because of someone else inducing fear inside you day by day?
For the last 5 years I was forefully taught to be an introvert and antisocial not only that everyday i was fed with fear mongering talks which had no connection to reality. Now my depression and anxiety has gotten so worse that I blame myself for not leaving the house and start living on my own, I know I still have time to act but I have no energy. I'm already fucked inside. I can die peacefully now as I was forcefully made to live in fake reality. But I dont wanna leave this world yet because if I did so I would be betraying my mother, she never misguided me, it was all my narcissist fathers fault. I dont wanna continue living in suffering and pain as well. I am stuck

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Purposely induced fear, anyone here who was fearless before and now gotten worse because of someone else inducing fear inside you day by day?
For the last 5 years I was forefully taught to be an introvert and antisocial not only that everyday i was fed with fear mongering talks which had no connection to reality. Now my depression and anxiety has gotten so worse that I blame myself for not leaving the house and start living on my own, I know I still have time to act but I have no energy. I'm already fucked inside. I can die peacefully now as I was forcefully made to live in fake reality. But I dont wanna leave this world yet because if I did so I would be betraying my mother, she never misguided me, it was all my narcissist fathers fault. I dont wanna continue living in suffering and pain as well. I am stuck

I think this has happened with me repeatedly and I can't stick it on one person. I will say that the people from the first half of my life were the heaviest contributors, however.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I know I still have time to act but I have no energy.

Do you live at home? Do you have anyone else you could crash with as you figure things out? Terrible that parents hurt their children. One of the worst kinds of abuse and betrayals.

 

[Party__3nd5]

Parents like that are the ones you hate to have, and that you would hate to become like them, I understand you, I dont know that they have done you, but I am sure it must be terrible, because I also know what it is to have narcissistic parents, who only love themselves and who think that any attempt to assimilate or be different is disgusting.

 

[beingzettt]

Do you live at home? Do you have anyone else you could crash with as you figure things out? Terrible that parents hurt their children. One of the worst kinds of abuse and betrayals.

Unfortunately I have no one else to rely on and even if I had one my father would find ways to get me back to him he is that stubborn. For Instance my sister knew what was going on and she opened her house doors for me to build my career up which my father refused.
I just need to act manly and try to stay away from house as much as possible and only think about my career. I pray to higher almighty to give me enough strength.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Parents like that are the ones you hate to have, and that you would hate to become like them, I understand you, I dont know that they have done you, but I am sure it must be terrible, because I also know what it is to have narcissistic parents, who only love themselves and who think that any attempt to assimilate or be different is disgusting.

Why is it the bar to adopt is so high but the one to procreate is under the earth? (rhetorical)

Unfortunately I have no one else to rely on and even if I had one my father would find ways to get me back to him he is that stubborn. For Instance my sister knew what was going on and she opened her house doors for me to build my career up which my father refused.
I just need to act manly and try to stay away from house as much as possible and only think about my career. I pray to higher almighty to give me enough strength.

Please IM me if you'd like to speak in private. It sounds like you're a legal adult. Am I wrong? It's heartbreaking hearing you're living in that every day. When I was in school, my mother was involved with an abuser. Watching that scarred me for life. I think parents don't think of how they're ripping their own kids apart. But maybe there's an emergency social service nearby? Or a way for you to jump-start a new career to be able to get out of your dad's house? Not meaning to sound presumptuous. Just wish I could erase your pain.