Best way/s to overcome SI?

[Cockney_Rebel]

I'm gagging to make my next attempt, but for the first time, I never went through with it on Monday and I LOATHE myself for it.

SI has definitely become stronger since I stopped taking my medication two months ago, which is perplexing. I would have thought it'd be the other way around?

Anyway, apart from alcohol (which does help, but I'd rather be sober, so they can't blame it on alcohol) what methods of overcoming SI have you used, and how affective have they been?

I have found listening to music via YouTube videos on my TV to be quite helpful. When I get into that almost psychotic mindset, my mind can completely distort the meaning behind the video.

I'd be interested to hear your ideas.

Thanks in advance x.

 

[HelloHell]

I never tried using this method but im planning to take some sedating meds which i think can help to overcome SI

 

[Annabella]

Believe me, when you will become mentally ill enough you will have no SI. I think that most people that commit suicide are the ones with no SI because of mental illness/in great amounts of constant physical pain that is mostly incurable because of physical/mental illness. Otherwise they are in manic states/crimes of passion in which the aggressiveness/emotions become so strong they overpower the SI, at least for a moment. The fact that you have SI means that you still have a reason to live, you still have it in you to fight. It's a great thing you shouldn't want to get rid of.
Your SI is proof that it's not the moment for you to kill yourself. Look in nature, can you still find beauty in the chirping of the birds, the dance of the trees? Isn't a forest like a choir that fills you with positive mental energy? Go to a great library l, think about the hours of work, the traditions and the love people put in those books. As long as you are moderately okay mentally/physically, you can still derive a lot of joy from this world.
PS: most antidepressants LOWER your capability to feel emotions, including your SI!Some even leave people emotionally numb.
That's why the rate of teenagers that commit suicide after taking antidepressants is so high...

 

[logan]

I think meditation focuses your mind in a certain direction.
When this focus fades, your inner instincts regain power.

Since the SI is one of the strongest and deepest seated programmes, this programme then acts stronger again.

And alcohol has a very complex effect and has already destroyed so many people.
Socially, it is the worst drug there ever was.

 

[who doesn't matter]

Suicide is the natural conclusion when you are completely out of options and have exhausted all your resources, which includes your mental threshold and intellectual strength. When you reach this stage, the SI is completely dismantled. There is no hope and so, your SI can't convince you of any other "alternative." All of us are waiting for that to happen. We are close but not just not there yet.

 

[xLosthopex]

My current problem also. I have made up my mind already about ctb, have N and I still am struggling with SI
It's weird though because I've attempted several times in the past however most of them, if not all, were impulsive so this time around it's quite different because I've put in so much thought, time and effort into deciding on and obtaining my chosen method. My other biggest fear/issue right now is the fear of failing because of how much work has gone into planning it, it HAS to work

 

[lost_soul83]

My current problem also. I have made up my mind already about ctb, have N and I still am struggling with SI
It's weird though because I've attempted several times in the past however most of them, if not all, were impulsive so this time around it's quite different because I've put in so much thought, time and effort into deciding on and obtaining my chosen method. My other biggest fear/issue right now is the fear of failing because of how much work has gone into planning it, it HAS to work

If you've been lucky enough to obtain N, all you've got to do is drink it and it will definitely work.

 

[Apathy79]

Agree with a couple earlier posts. Inasmuch as SI is the physical manifestation of the subconscious desire to survive, its existence suggests that desire still exists, at least subconsciously.

If thats the case, tricking yourself into overcoming it is going to be difficult and potentially a mistake.

If/when you're truly all in, it won't stop you.

 

[xLosthopex]

If you've been lucky enough to obtain N, all you've got to do is drink it and it will definitely work.

"All you've got to do is drink it" uh well yeah I know that… but this is about the topic of SI lol so the problem is that I can't bring myself to do so due to SI
And it's not necessarily that simple either, there's always the possibility of vomiting which is a major fear for me also, despite having antiemetics

 

[LADY007]

My current problem also. I have made up my mind already about ctb, have N and I still am struggling with SI
It's weird though because I've attempted several times in the past however most of them, if not all, were impulsive so this time around it's quite different because I've put in so much thought, time and effort into deciding on and obtaining my chosen method. My other biggest fear/issue right now is the fear of failing because of how much work has gone into planning it, it HAS to work

Hi...xLosthopex....If I gave you my email, would I possibly be able to get N from that source??

 

[justpeachy]

There's really no way to just overcome it. It's ingrained in us. You either have it in the moment or you don't. If you are truly ready and at that point you will know and you will not have as severe SI. That's really the best advice to give you, you just know when it's time because it just isn't there anymore. If you have it, it's there for a reason. Some part of you even if you don't know it wants to stay alive and is fighting for that. When you are done with that fight that's when you know and don't have it.

 

[wait.what]

I've read that people who have had many attempts are more likely to successfully ctb because they have slowly habituated themselves to pain and fear over time.

I have no intention of further wrecking my mind and body a piece at a time over 20 attempts, but I thought maybe I could reduce my SI by having multiple "dress rehearsals" with my chosen method (not my favorite by a long shot, but what I have available). Basically this is getting everything ready and doing all of it except the last step. Not terribly practical for all methods (try standing on the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge every day for a year, lol), but for some it might help.

 

[hʚll]

i don't want to be something that i'm not. i don't want to be corrupted. i feel is morally right for me to die as soon as possible. i am incompatible with this reality. i will try to go all the way through this feeling and kill the enemy.

 

[FuneralCry]

As others have said, there is no way to overcome it fully, it is how we have evolved, us humans are programmed to survive. I guess complete hopelessness and desperation can make us more likely to overcome it.

 

[Luna88]

Believe me, when you will become mentally ill enough you will have no SI. I think that most people that commit suicide are the ones with no SI because of mental illness/in great amounts of constant physical pain that is mostly incurable because of physical/mental illness. Otherwise they are in manic states/crimes of passion in which the aggressiveness/emotions become so strong they overpower the SI, at least for a moment. The fact that you have SI means that you still have a reason to live, you still have it in you to fight. It's a great thing you shouldn't want to get rid of.
Your SI is proof that it's not the moment for you to kill yourself. Look in nature, can you still find beauty in the chirping of the birds, the dance of the trees? Isn't a forest like a choir that fills you with positive mental energy? Go to a great library l, think about the hours of work, the traditions and the love people put in those books. As long as you are moderately okay mentally/physically, you can still derive a lot of joy from this world.
PS: most antidepressants LOWER your capability to feel emotions, including your SI!Some even leave people emotionally numb.
That's why the rate of teenagers that commit suicide after taking antidepressants is so high...

This is such nonsense that you are writing here. That's the kind of crap that most of us hear a lot. You didn't understand anything.
The Si is the biggest asshole. I'm so bad and nothing changes it. I've tried everything I can. I fought. Got up. Over and over again. I've been lying down for a year. There is nothing left of me. I exist but I am no longer alive. I don't want to live like this. All I have to do is drink N I can't make it and it's the most terrible feeling to realize that you can't make it.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'm gagging to make my next attempt, but for the first time, I never went through with it on Monday and I LOATHE myself for it.

SI has definitely become stronger since I stopped taking my medication two months ago, which is perplexing. I would have thought it'd be the other way around?

Anyway, apart from alcohol (which does help, but I'd rather be sober, so they can't blame it on alcohol) what methods of overcoming SI have you used, and how affective have they been?

I have found listening to music via YouTube videos on my TV to be quite helpful. When I get into that almost psychotic mindset, my mind can completely distort the meaning behind the video.

I'd be interested to hear your ideas.

Thanks in advance x.

For me i think the best way to beat my si is for me to finally get it that I'm going to die anyway no matter what. Death is a certaintity for every human. that's the most absolute truth. but are most people acting like it is? imo most are acting like they'll never get old or die. imo what does it matter what you do if you will be dead anyway? in 100 years nothing is going to matter.

And life is short . time passes by really fast. in 100 years every human all 7 billion alive now will be dead. in the year 2121 i will be dead, in 2221 yes i will be dead so will every human alive now. i was dead in 1921 and for the last 13.8 billion years and i had no pain or problems then.

My suicide is not going to kill me because i would have died anyway .what my suicide is going to do is avoid extreme torture of a natural death homeless , cancer, stroke , tapeworm , nursing home , old age, dementia etc etc. what am i going to miss in the time i have left eating stupid food like an animal, watching a youtube video for that i have to suffer work risk torture? i won't remmember anything after i'm dead . i don't hardly remember anything that happened when i'm alive. does anyone remember what they had for lunch or what they did on a particular hour of a day last week, last month , last year, 5 years ago? i don't think so.

 

[Anonymous_A]

You just gotta reach your point of no return.
With reaching your own lowest point, everyone's different. Some just accept it and drink sn/n or shoot them self/jump of a bridge.

But hey, most will make silly excuses I suppose.

But if you really wanna ctb so badly?

Go find some CP and post it on your personal Facebook etc. Post it like it's yours.
Ha, that will hopefully push you to ctb.

Otherwise, stfu, your making excuses, lying to yourself that you don't really wanna ctb. If that's the case I hope you better yourself and get to a better place mentally

 

[motel rooms]

I have enormous respect for all the silent people who join this forum, find their method & just leave. If you're desperate enough, you'll overcome your SI & ctb; if you aren't, you won't. End of story.

 

[Annabella]

This is such nonsense that you are writing here. That's the kind of crap that most of us hear a lot. You didn't understand anything.
The Si is the biggest asshole. I'm so bad and nothing changes it. I've tried everything I can. I fought. Got up. Over and over again. I've been lying down for a year. There is nothing left of me. I exist but I am no longer alive. I don't want to live like this. All I have to do is drink N I can't make it and it's the most terrible feeling to realize that you can't make it.

Well, keeping in mind that you are still here, there seems to be truth in what I am saying. The majority of people that kill themselves really were in a place of no return, the fact that you have such a strong SI that you can't drink N(which is a really nonviolent death), is proof that there is a lot of hope for you, which is a great thing btw. The people that ctb successfully don't plan 5 months in advance the ways in which they will kill themselves. Such a person is in a pretty bad position, but they definitely didn't reach the point of no return. As long as you are okayish mentally/physically(no mental illness strong enough to beat SI, no awful as heck physical illnesses or injuries) there's no point in killing yourself. You can still derive a lor of joy from your life, you can still enjoy books or literature that someone with severe biological Anhedonia for example could only hope for. Even the fact that you can think coherently can be considered a blessing and from this point of view I envy you. My mind is literally desintegrating from all the abuse I've experienced as an abandoned/foster child and I'd love to have a mind that doesn't feel like it's fuckin split in half... I'd love to feel cravings when put in front of a tasty pizza, I'd love to study all day long but every time I concentrate it feels like my entire right hemisphere of my brain gets clogged with water... Fucking hell I WANT TO LIVE but it's like everything in this universe/in my head tries to convince me to kill myself. I reached the point of no return, no SI, no emotions, no will to live whatsoever and I'd literally give my left foot to get rid from this godawful state. Please, if you didn't yet reach this point of no return do everything in your power to AVOID reaching it. Stop staying on the internet, avoid all stress in your life, make good connections, sunlight, don't reach this point! Sadly when it comes to mental health it can always get so muuuchh worse i miss the days in which I was low just extremely Anhedonic but I still could study without my mind being in pain 24/7. I want the best 4 you, please take care.

 

[Luna88]

Well, keeping in mind that you are still here, there seems to be truth in what I am saying. The majority of people that kill themselves really were in a place of no return, the fact that you have such a strong SI that you can't drink N(which is a really nonviolent death), is proof that there is a lot of hope for you, which is a great thing btw. The people that ctb successfully don't plan 5 months in advance the ways in which they will kill themselves. Such a person is in a pretty bad position, but they definitely didn't reach the point of no return. As long as you are okayish mentally/physically(no mental illness strong enough to beat SI, no awful as heck physical illnesses or injuries) there's no point in killing yourself. You can still derive a lor of joy from your life, you can still enjoy books or literature that someone with severe biological Anhedonia for example could only hope for. Even the fact that you can think coherently can be considered a blessing and from this point of view I envy you. My mind is literally desintegrating from all the abuse I've experienced as an abandoned/foster child and I'd love to have a mind that doesn't feel like it's fuckin split in half... I'd love to feel cravings when put in front of a tasty pizza, I'd love to study all day long but every time I concentrate it feels like my entire right hemisphere of my brain gets clogged with water... Fucking hell I WANT TO LIVE but it's like everything in this universe/in my head tries to convince me to kill myself. I reached the point of no return, no SI, no emotions, no will to live whatsoever and I'd literally give my left foot to get rid from this godawful state. Please, if you didn't yet reach this point of no return do everything in your power to AVOID reaching it. Stop staying on the internet, avoid all stress in your life, make good connections, sunlight, don't reach this point! Sadly when it comes to mental health it can always get so muuuchh worse i miss the days in which I was low just extremely Anhedonic but I still could study without my mind being in pain 24/7. I want the best 4 you, please take care.

That may be true for some people. Not for me.

 

[lost_soul83]

"All you've got to do is drink it" uh well yeah I know that… but this is about the topic of SI lol so the problem is that I can't bring myself to do so due to SI
And it's not necessarily that simple either, there's always the possibility of vomiting which is a major fear for me also, despite having antiemetics

My point was simply reiterating the efficacy of N, as a question was posed about it. I can read and am aware that this post was about overcoming SI, I was simply answering a question about the efficacy of N, geez. Jump down my throat while you're at it.