Believing you have a special purpose.

[GonnaGoBye]

I used to joke about leaving the world, because i know to myself something is great is about to happen and thus excites me in a way. But now, hopes and dreams those things are gone and the only thing left is spiral of desperation, sadness, sorrow, cries, and death.

 

[Sweet Release]

I used to joke about leaving the world, because i know to myself something is great is about to happen and thus excites me in a way. But now, hopes and dreams those things are gone and the only thing left is spiral of desperation, sadness, sorrow, cries, and death.

I've been there too my friend.
The sense of loss and grief; like nothing remains except a gaping dark pit where a person used to be.
I am feeling your pain.

 

[Anthagonos]

Woah! Just a few months ago!
Is there truly no way you will get another chance at what you want to do?

Believing that I was some kind special and that I had something to do has cost me the life. Instead of enjoying life, I spent it trying to do something special. What a mistake!

The problem is some people came to my life and they said that I was going to be very succesful in life. Not one not two, but 6 as far I can remember.

When I was a child a strange man came to home to speak with my mother about me.
10 years ago another strange man that I found in the street told me some information that I saw it was true as time passed. He told me that I had a great mind and recommended me a book.

I can tell you more similar situations like that that had happened to me.

In the classroom a nun came and gave us a paper to each alumn of the class. We had to read just one paragraph. When I started reading mine she told us to keep silent and she told me "you are going to be someone important in life". After that I kept reading.

And I had more experiences like those...

 

[inactive]

For my whole life, I've deeply sensed that my entire purpose is to paint. I can't explain it. I used to be extraordinarily passionate about art but alas, anhedonia and other mental troubles have interfered and all of that is dead to me now.

 

[Zorya]

?

Some person at work is "kapo", reported me to the boss for leaving 8 minutes earlier.

 

[ptsdgoblin]

I've always felt like our purpose is to find or create our purpose. I'm trying to make mine, but like you I feel like it has to be about helping people somehow. There's no way we're here to be selfish and ignore everybody for a few years then die. And realistically I know we're just complicated piles of meat with electricity inside but it feels like it's all gotta mean something somehow.

Idk. I hope you find your purpose, or figure out how to make it. Art is an incredible tool, I'm sure you'll be able to use it in some way, no matter where it leads you

 

[Sweet Release]

Believing that I was some kind special and that I had something to do has cost me the life. Instead of enjoying life, I spent it trying to do something special. What a mistake!

The problem is some people came to my life and they said that I was going to be very succesful in life. Not one not two, but 6 as far I can remember.

When I was a child a strange man came to home to speak with my mother about me.
10 years ago another strange man that I found in the street told me some information that I saw it was true as time passed. He told me that I had a great mind and recommended me a book.

I can tell you more similar situations like that that had happened to me.

In the classroom a nun came and gave us a paper to each alumn of the class. We had to read just one paragraph. When I started reading mine she told us to keep silent and she told me "you are going to be someone important in life". After that I kept reading.

And I had more experiences like those...

Woah! Thank you for opening up like that and telling me the wider story.
Thats quite amazing!
I'm sorry it hasn't come to fruition but I don't think you wasted your life though.

For my whole life, I've deeply sensed that my entire purpose is to paint. I can't explain it. I used to be extraordinarily passionate about art but alas, anhedonia and other mental troubles have interfered and all of that is dead to me now.

That sucks!
When mental health issues attack its like they suck all the joy and purpose out of life.
I hope it comes back to you.

I've always felt like our purpose is to find or create our purpose. I'm trying to make mine, but like you I feel like it has to be about helping people somehow. There's no way we're here to be selfish and ignore everybody for a few years then die. And realistically I know we're just complicated piles of meat with electricity inside but it feels like it's all gotta mean something somehow.

Idk. I hope you find your purpose, or figure out how to make it. Art is an incredible tool, I'm sure you'll be able to use it in some way, no matter where it leads you

Hey! I really like that!
You seem like a smart person; I hope you find it to.
I can imagine someone really benefiting from what you have to share with them.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I think I've fulfilled my purpose. Time to go.

 

[Sweet Release]

I think I've fulfilled my purpose. Time to go.

Thats a very frank and honest statement.
I guess you can now leave this world knowing you did what you set out to achieve.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to think maybe my purpose was to entertain a wide variety of people because I wanted to make people happy the same way consuming media made me happy but since then I've just become so lazy that all of that sounds like too much work. I can only hope my purpose now would simply be to serve as a cautionary tale, "How to suck at life" or something like that.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Thats a very frank and honest statement.
I guess you can now leave this world knowing you did what you set out to achieve.

I would have liked to achieve more, to be honest, but it wasn't in the cards for me. I think I did all I could. In fact, I probably lived too long. It would've been better if I'd died two years ago.

 

[Anthagonos]

Woah! Thank you for opening up like that and telling me the wider story.
Thats quite amazing!
I'm sorry it hasn't come to fruition but I don't think you wasted your life though.


That sucks!
When mental health issues attack its like they suck all the joy and purpose out of life.
I hope it comes back to you.


Hey! I really like that!
You seem like a smart person; I hope you find it to.
I can imagine someone really benefiting from what you have to share with them.

Thanks! As I said my life has been a sequence of strange occurrences. My case is not usual.

 

[LenkaX]

I used to think like that, but not anymore. With age you will be more and more convinced that you ain't nobody special.

 

[TAW122]

When I was younger and naive, yes I had this illusion about life that it could get better, aka 'false hope'. When I've matured and grown, however, I learned about life's hardships and how ugly life itself was, thus I decided that life isn't for me. As for why I kept going, partly due to SI, curiosity, going from actively wanting to die to just passively, to name a few. I personally don't believe that we have an objective purpose in life, outside of our biological nature (as all living things) to thrive, reproduce, and die, then the cycle repeats itself as 'circle of life' (the biological life cycle).

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I used to believe that some god out there had a special purpose for me, but I realized a long time ago that we decide what our own purpose is. Even if someone else DID have some kind of plan for me, it doesn't mean it's a good one or that I should even care what it is, especially if there is no communication and I have to guess what it might be. I'm better off deciding what I'm going to do with my life on my own.

 

[Sweet Release]

I used to think maybe my purpose was to entertain a wide variety of people because I wanted to make people happy the same way consuming media made me happy but since then I've just become so lazy that all of that sounds like too much work. I can only hope my purpose now would simply be to serve as a cautionary tale, "How to suck at life" or something like that.

That seems really harsh.
Do you really think about yourself that way?

I used to think like that, but not anymore. With age you will be more and more convinced that you ain't nobody special.

That was always my greatest fear; that I would just grow older and older and accept that I was never that special in the first place.

When I was younger and naive, yes I had this illusion about life that it could get better, aka 'false hope'. When I've matured and grown, however, I learned about life's hardships and how ugly life itself was, thus I decided that life isn't for me. As for why I kept going, partly due to SI, curiosity, going from actively wanting to die to just passively, to name a few. I personally don't believe that we have an objective purpose in life, outside of our biological nature (as all living things) to thrive, reproduce, and die, then the cycle repeats itself as 'circle of life' (the biological life cycle).

Same here

I used to believe that some god out there had a special purpose for me, but I realized a long time ago that we decide what our own purpose is. Even if someone else DID have some kind of plan for me, it doesn't mean it's a good one or that I should even care what it is, especially if there is no communication and I have to guess what it might be. I'm better off deciding what I'm going to do with my life on my own.

Ok, thats a fair point.