Oblivion Access
I don't know anything
- Jul 5, 2019
- 333
"Just" mental pain. Whatever I do, whoever I talk to, whatever I take, it just doesn't matter. It just doesn't go away. The more I struggle the worse it feels.
Why does it hurt SO MUCH? Just being here, just being me. Nothing is happening, nobody is harassing me. But it's unbearable.
None of this looks real. My hands, my feet, they don't look like they belong to me. This plant looks fake as fuck. The colourful laundry is taunting me, mocking me. It's already so awful, but it can get so much worse still. I feel feral, but I guess feral beings at least have a liveliness to them. I just feel empty.
Spinning around with my back glued to the hamster wheel, while flopping around helplessly and gasping for air like a fish out of water. Suicide hardly crosses my mind, I don't even have the determination. Why should I get to stop my life sentence at others' expense, anyway? It's bullshit, of course. It all is. I think the wheel is about to get spun again.
Why does it hurt SO MUCH? Just being here, just being me. Nothing is happening, nobody is harassing me. But it's unbearable.
None of this looks real. My hands, my feet, they don't look like they belong to me. This plant looks fake as fuck. The colourful laundry is taunting me, mocking me. It's already so awful, but it can get so much worse still. I feel feral, but I guess feral beings at least have a liveliness to them. I just feel empty.
Spinning around with my back glued to the hamster wheel, while flopping around helplessly and gasping for air like a fish out of water. Suicide hardly crosses my mind, I don't even have the determination. Why should I get to stop my life sentence at others' expense, anyway? It's bullshit, of course. It all is. I think the wheel is about to get spun again.