Being suicidal nowadays i find myself in a trance like state which i cant snap out of anymore.

[FireFox]

Everyday I always feel like I am in a trance like state and can't snap out of it anymore. It's feel so weird.

Being suicidal the urge to leave your body and mental state is so strong.

I can't stop crying anymore and I feel like I am drowning. I really wanted to live and be happy. Frequent disappointments and things not working out in my 20s has made me feel more and more life is not for me. I don't want to see another decade anymore.

When I am not crying nothing brings me joy anymore. I am not myself anymore and all I know is i don't want to me anymore.

 

[divinemistress36]

I understand I feel the same way

 

[onthefence]

It sounds like you may be dissociating. Describing it as a "trance like state" seems to fit. For me dissociating is the only relief I can find since I can't self harm right now without risking ending up in the hospital. When I leave I will definitely be using my dissociating superpower to overcome SI.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I know what you mean. I suppose a part of me enjoys that feeling though. I've spent so much of my life worrying about my future, wanting certain things, working so hard for others and feeling failure when I didn't achieve them. Or, the constant worry of trying to hold on to what I did have. Life's exhausting. I suppose I've enjoyed passive ideation in terms of- I may (hopefully) not have much of a future to worry about. It's taken away some of the pressure to succeed and the obligation to comply to everything.

But then, it doesn't work entirely. I'm still stuck here for now. So, to some extent, I'm still stuck with all of life's stressors. So- then it becomes so much harder to motivate myself to do what I must for now.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Everyday I always feel like I am in a trance like state and can't snap out of it anymore. It's feel so weird.

Being suicidal the urge to leave your body and mental state is so strong.

I can't stop crying anymore and I feel like I am drowning. I really wanted to live and be happy. Frequent disappointments and things not working out in my 20s has made me feel more and more life is not for me. I don't want to see another decade anymore.

When I am not crying nothing brings me joy anymore. I am not myself anymore and all I know is i don't want to me anymore.

I understand, I feel and I do the same. Sadly, many of us exist in this hellish state because we are not allowed euthanasia that is very often given to animals and many others with no knowledge of the pains and traumas that life causes for some, deny choice in exit for all.