Being suicidal and religious

[burninghill]

It can be strange, but comforting. I don't put myself into a box when it comes to religion in the form of labels, but I believe in Jesus.

It brings me a lot of peace, I think that all of this is planned and the itchy, suicidal urges I've had since I was 13 are just God telling me that I have a job to do. I think Jesus will hold me when I die and maybe then I'll understand why I had to do it

 

[YISDISBAD]

No. I'm too Christian. Same boat. Predestination affirmer too.
But we can't commit suicide. I hate it so much. I would've done it last year.
I can't say "God saved me"
Because that's such a stretch. God made the rule to not do it. So I'll keep it. But I wish I could just end my life.

But yea. Story for another day
It's a pretty messy life.
I hope we can become happy soon. Because I can't even smell it