Being single has caused me to lose my sanity and now everything

[FireFox]

I make all the effort in the world to put myself out there, show the guys I like I care about him and remember everything about them from the things they like to dislike their birthdays and stuff about them and all i ever give is my love but it never gets reciprocated. I am never enough for men they always want another woman or there is something about me that doesn't meet their standards.

I have tried so hard to enjoy single life. I go to musuems by myself, I do thrill seeking activities by myself and socialise with people but now one of it brings me joy anymore. All i see is happy couples doing fun things together while I am all by myself.

I talk to guys at university but the guys don't click with me already everyone has a partner at university or someone they are interested in. I see it all the time on campus or the law school building.

I have lost focus and have fallen behind in my university course. I can't stop crying all the time that I have never had anyone want me. I actually hate my life being single. All my life I have been the girl now woman who never gets picked. This is how I feel everyday. I finally can't cope anymore. Every evening I am crying because of all this.

I want to kill myself so I can stop feeling sad forever. I am sick of people saying I am "young" and how "my time is coming". It doesn't feel like that anymore. Everyone is taken that all I see. I can't think properly anymore. I don't understand anything anyone.

 

[dyingslowly]

I make all the effort in the world to put myself out there, show the guys I like I care about him and remember everything about them from the things they like to dislike their birthdays and stuff about them and all i ever give is my love but it never gets reciprocated. I am never enough for men they always want another woman or there is something about me that doesn't meet their standards.

I have tried so hard to enjoy single life. I go to musuems by myself, I do thrill seeking activities by myself and socialise with people but now one of it brings me joy anymore. All i see is happy couples doing fun things together while I am all by myself.

I talk to guys at university but the guys don't click with me already everyone has a partner at university or someone they are interested in. I see it all the time on campus or the law school building.

I have lost focus and have fallen behind in my university course. I can't stop crying all the time that I have never had anyone want me. I actually hate my life being single. All my life I have been the girl now woman who never gets picked. This is how I feel everyday. I finally can't cope anymore. Every evening I am crying because of all this.

I want to kill myself so I can stop feeling sad forever. I am sick of people saying I am "young" and how "my time is coming". It doesn't feel like that anymore. Everyone is taken that all I see. I can't think properly anymore. I don't understand anything anyone.

Guy here, please don't go all on ballistic on me before trying to understand my point. There are three perspectives to this, and I want you to see it like that. 1. Guys: They are afraid to pick girls in 2024, either are depressed, super busy to become rich, or just too defeated to take this risk and resorting to prono and OF girls to fool themselves that they have something with someone, and those who aren't don't stay with a woman very long and are super successful from a very young age. Continuing on this you said that you talk to guys at the University, but most don't click with you. I can already tell that these guys that you talk too are mostly single as well, they are okay, but they lack something, maybe they don't meet your standards which is fine. 2. Proof of acceptance: You are looking at those guys who are already accepted by other women maybe that's why all you see at the University is people who are taken or couples who are happy, 3. You should only give your love and care to those who deserve it, by giving all your love and attention to people who are occupied or looking elsewhere you are just feeding their ego by becoming kind of pick me girl. Hope this helps, I am a guy who is intelligent, good grades, and just going in the right direction in life and making money but I never had somebody who paid a little attention to me whenever I tried, I was and to still this day labeled as a "creep" and made fun of or plain ignored like I don't exist. I came to a conclusion, I understand that I am not a material fit for the women and will never be, I am always be viewed as a resource to be used in one way or another which is fine by me since I can now plan my life ahead based on these factors.

 

[dune_dweller]

In my opinion, you are chasing something that doesn't exist outside of romantic fantasies.

 

[FireFox]

Guy here, please don't go all on ballistic on me before trying to understand my point. There are three perspectives to this, and I want you to see it like that. 1. Guys: They are afraid to pick girls in 2024, either are depressed, super busy to become rich, or just too defeated to take this risk and resorting to prono and OF girls to fool themselves that they have something with someone, and those who aren't don't stay with a woman very long and are super successful from a very young age. Continuing on this you said that you talk to guys at the University, but most don't click with you. I can already tell that these guys that you talk too are mostly single as well, they are okay, but they lack something, maybe they don't meet your standards which is fine. 2. Proof of acceptance: You are looking at those guys who are already accepted by other women maybe that's why all you see at the University is people who are taken or couples who are happy, 3. You should only give your love and care to those who deserve it, by giving all your love and attention to people who are occupied or looking elsewhere you are just feeding their ego by becoming kind of pick me girl. Hope this helps, I am a guy who is intelligent, good grades, and just going in the right direction in life and making money but I never had somebody who paid a little attention to me whenever I tried, I was and to still this day labeled as a "creep" and made fun of or plain ignored like I don't exist. I came to a conclusion, I understand that I am not a material fit for the women and will never be, I am always be viewed as a resource to be used in one way or another which is fine by me since I can now plan my life ahead based on these factors.

@dyingslowly I don't understand what's wrong with me anymore why am I always a target of rejection and humiliation by men. I even experienced on more than 1 occasion guys I really liked humiliating me infront of all their friends.

As a teenager at school I had the confidence to talk to boys I was interested in but they just humiliated me infront of their friends. The worst one was when a boy at school lied to me about being gay and even got his friends to help him lie. He didn't even care about how upset I was when he lied and worst of all the whole school laughed at me. He didn't want to be seen with me at school because people in the school gossiped about how we used to hang out with each other. He was ashamed to be around me.

I really thought he was different but he was an arsehole like everyone else in the school but he thought he was better than the school population.Meanwhile other girls had boys giving them attention and wanted to be their friend

In adulthood guys just see me either as a friend or classmate but nothing ever special enough to make their girlfriend.

 

[dyingslowly]

@dyingslowly I don't understand what's wrong with me anymore why am I always a target of rejection and humiliation by men. I even experienced on more than 1 occasion guys I really liked humiliating me infront of all their friends.

As a teenager at school I had the confidence to talk to boys I was interested in but they just humiliated me infront of their friends. The worst one was when a boy at school lied to me about being gay and even got his friends to help him lie. He didn't even care about how upset I was when he lied and worst of all the whole school laughed at me. He didn't want to be seen with me at school because people in the school gossiped about how we used to hang out with each other. He was ashamed to be around me.

I really thought he was different but he was an arsehole like everyone else in the school but he thought he was better than the school population.Meanwhile other girls had boys giving them attention and wanted to be their friend

In adulthood guys just see me either as a friend or classmate but nothing ever special enough to make their girlfriend.

What u think maybe we are really ugly since I have been situations like this and I think this is the only reasonable conclusion

 

[littleraccoon3]

Open a Tinder and Bumble account and at least have small conversations. It doesn't have to end in sex. I'm sure you'll be surprised at the people you match with. There was a time when I thought like you.

 

[FireFox]

What u think maybe we are really ugly since I have been situations like this and I think this is the only reasonable conclusion

@dyingslowly I am on the average spectrum. People like us we are invisible and don't draw attention to the male gaze.

 

[sos]

In my opinion, you are chasing something that doesn't exist outside of romantic fantasies.

mm not really

theres a period called honeymoon phase within a relationship, where everything is perfect and alike when it comes to effort

 

[Sutter]

I make all the effort in the world to put myself out there, show the guys I like I care about him and remember everything about them from the things they like to dislike their birthdays and stuff about them and all i ever give is my love but it never gets reciprocated. I am never enough for men they always want another woman or there is something about me that doesn't meet their standards.

I have tried so hard to enjoy single life. I go to musuems by myself, I do thrill seeking activities by myself and socialise with people but now one of it brings me joy anymore. All i see is happy couples doing fun things together while I am all by myself.

I talk to guys at university but the guys don't click with me already everyone has a partner at university or someone they are interested in. I see it all the time on campus or the law school building.

I have lost focus and have fallen behind in my university course. I can't stop crying all the time that I have never had anyone want me. I actually hate my life being single. All my life I have been the girl now woman who never gets picked. This is how I feel everyday. I finally can't cope anymore. Every evening I am crying because of all this.

I want to kill myself so I can stop feeling sad forever. I am sick of people saying I am "young" and how "my time is coming". It doesn't feel like that anymore. Everyone is taken that all I see. I can't think properly anymore. I don't understand anything anyone.

Old as dirt.

That would be correct at 51 Im an old man. I was younger once and more exciting.

There are alot of different men out there narcissists, selfish, money motivated, the list goes on. Some of these men may eventually come to realize most of life boils down in reduction to just love, relationship love, love of a hobby or a life's work that is actually worthy. Alot of men at a younger age have a reasoning facility that is still waiting on the wisdom component to be delivered. Sadly some get screwed by distribution and never get the wisdom attachment.

So here is my dinosaur suggestion…..prepare to snort chuckle at this one.

Find a young man who has had his freedom, self, illusions, taken away. Im a…former Marine…yup I was. I found as I watched those around me as they were stripped of self, hair spray, lotions, clothes, pretty much you name it it was gone. Their core selves stripped to a peach pit. Then although built back up again, they kept their quiet selves in there protected as it was all they had left. I watched 18-20 year olds start to focus on family, on relationships that seemed inconsequential before now were becoming clear they were some of the most important parts of their lives. Yes, some were still idiots but not all.

Alot of us would have highly valued even one part of the attention you have showed. When I first met my wife and took a look at her, really seeing her, I got quiet. Then I just looked at her and said "Not to bother you but we could get married and have a good life, think on it a bit please.". After that one sentence, I just let it go. She decided to date me. After a bit she concluded I might be worthwhile and married me.

There are kind men out there, they may not look kind but they are there. You firefox are worth your weight and then some in gold, you deserve to have that come back to you. Marines can be…difficult to handle at times but if you got close enough to one, would be my guess you might end up with a partner for life.

Truth is any man that has really gone without and has had an opportunity to stare at his own core would be worth your while to say hello to.

Like I said old as dirt and probably not helpful advice for this day and age but love and companionship are very archaic.

Thankyou for your time, laughs, snorts, guffaws, and general disbelief as your eyes moved over an old mans rambling. Back to sitting and watching a night sky for a bit.

 

[leavingsoonx]

I'm too ugly and will never get a real love. I had love and it was all fake, cheated on, hated by everyone cause I decided someone was my boyfriend who didn't talk to me. Everyone still bullies me about it although I have lost all love and feelings for this person - I would be over it if they didn't force feed it to me for laughter and to feel better about themselves.

Anyways, I've finally accepted having no love. Acceptance has helped me be more sane. I've worked hard on it. That's all I have. Everyone wants love but sometimes we just don't get it in this earth and when we do get it, it just ends in being all alone again.

The lucky ones usually aren't on forums like this.

 

[Sutter]

I'm too ugly and will never get a real love. I had love and it was all fake, cheated on, hated by everyone cause I decided someone was my boyfriend who didn't talk to me. Everyone still bullies me about it although I have lost all love and feelings for this person - I would be over it if they didn't force feed it to me for laughter and to feel better about themselves.

Anyways, I've finally accepted having no love. Acceptance has helped me be more sane. I've worked hard on it. That's all I have. Everyone wants love but sometimes we just don't get it in this earth and when we do get it, it just ends in being all alone again.

The lucky ones usually aren't on forums like this.

Crystal.

Just to make sure I did not misrepresent, my wife after 25 years of marriage and 27 together, decided I was not fit to continue as her husband. It hurts, it is crushing, especially since I place incalculable value on my best friend, spouse, partner. Was a long time to to grow with someone and have children with, there will be and already is an emptiness I cannot fill with her loss. Except to provide for my children a bit longer there is nothing tethering my soul to this world. There is only a dripping despair that I try to hold off for my daughters a bit longer.

The above being said, I would do it all over again to the same end. The reasons are many. The way her eyes squinted when she really laughed, the advice given after a rough day was always spot on, the prefect pony tails, the stance of power when she wanted something, the smile from across a room that let me know she was with me. Love was worth the ups, the downs, my own stupidity, it was worth everything. Even if it wasnt forever it was enough.

Just wanted to be crystal clear my life wasnt a cake walk and there is alot of trauma in it but there was love and it was worth it for me.

 

[dune_dweller]

mm not really

theres a period called honeymoon phase within a relationship, where everything is perfect and alike when it comes to effort

Yeah, when dopamine and oxytocin are still through the roof and masks are up.

When the lust-buzz fades, all that shit goes out the window and people's true colors come out.

 

[dyingslowly]

@dyingslowly I am on the average spectrum. People like us we are invisible and don't draw attention to the male gaze.

Yeah, fr girls never notice me not they respond to any of my advances

 

[Bilal]

As far as I know I'm not taken. But same I've never felt any kind of romantic attention from women and I'm 28. But ironically there were times when people told me that they thought I already have a gf and were surprised to know that I've never had one despite looking so good.

 

[divinemistress36]

Most guys are immature in their 20s . Maybe look for guys in their 30s

 

[Ozzyno]

I make all the effort in the world to put myself out there, show the guys I like I care about him and remember everything about them from the things they like to dislike their birthdays and stuff about them and all i ever give is my love but it never gets reciprocated. I am never enough for men they always want another woman or there is something about me that doesn't meet their standards.

I have tried so hard to enjoy single life. I go to musuems by myself, I do thrill seeking activities by myself and socialise with people but now one of it brings me joy anymore. All i see is happy couples doing fun things together while I am all by myself.

I talk to guys at university but the guys don't click with me already everyone has a partner at university or someone they are interested in. I see it all the time on campus or the law school building.

I have lost focus and have fallen behind in my university course. I can't stop crying all the time that I have never had anyone want me. I actually hate my life being single. All my life I have been the girl now woman who never gets picked. This is how I feel everyday. I finally can't cope anymore. Every evening I am crying because of all this.

I want to kill myself so I can stop feeling sad forever. I am sick of people saying I am "young" and how "my time is coming". It doesn't feel like that anymore. Everyone is taken that all I see. I can't think properly anymore. I don't understand anything anyone.

Gonna be honest with you, you said in an old post you are black, I'm not telling you this because I am or they are racist, but for a lot of men it's a deal breaker. Unfortunately almost every white man and even lots of black men too (I think more than half of them too) find white women to be more attractive, and since you live in the UK, a white majority country, you have competition from women that are right away preferred to you.

The fact that you have been single for basically all of your life doesn't help because now you also have mental problems and there is nothing less attractive than that.

I'm sorry if I am harsh. You have to work on yourself, workout, dress well, go to a psychologist, put yourself in a good position, graduate or find a good job.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Gonna be honest with you, you said in an old post you are black, I'm not telling you this because I am or they are racist, but for a lot of men it's a deal breaker.

"I'm not racist. I just think that being black is a deal breaker for most men"

Hate to break it to you, but if others are refusing to date you specifically because of your race then they are racist.

 

[Ozzyno]

"I'm not racist. I just think that being black is a deal breaker for most men"

Hate to break it to you, but if others are refusing to date you specifically because of your race then they are racist.

It's a matter of physical attraction. I also don't find black women attractive to be honest. That doesn't mean I am racist. You have to understand the difference between 'I don't date you because you are from a different race' and 'I don't date you because I don't find you attractive'.

As a man, I am saying that the vast majority of them will prefer a white woman over a black one, and it's not because of social status or race, it's looks.

If you really don't understand that it's not the race but the fact that aesthetically men prefer white women because they find them more beautiful than black women I don't know what to say.

 

[lilah]

In my opinion, you are chasing something that doesn't exist outside of romantic fantasies.

i totally see your point but i see a lot of happy loving couples. i think the mentality of "it's probably just a façade, they're not as happy as they seem" is just a coping mechanism. sure, there are a LOT of unhappy couples but there is also a lot of happy healthy fulfilled ones.

I don't understand anything anyone.

i'm more or less in the same boat. been single my whole life and mostly experienced unrequited love. now i just stay in my room/appartment and avoid the world as much as possible. i feel ugly and undesirable. i'm in my late twenties and cannot imagine what it'll be like when i hit my 30s.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's a matter of physical attraction. I also don't find black women attractive to be honest. That doesn't mean I am racist. You have to understand the difference between 'I don't date you because you are from a different race' and 'I don't date you because I don't find you attractive'.

As a man, I am saying that the vast majority of them will prefer a white woman over a black one, and it's not because of social status or race, it's looks.

If you really don't understand that it's not the race but the fact that aesthetically men prefer white women because they find them more beautiful than black women I don't know what to say.

Have you ever actually bother to question why that is? This is the issue I have you people. You'll claim not to be racist but that doesn't make you not racist. An aspect of standing against racism is taking the time to evaluate your racial biases and why you feel or view people of a certain race in a particular way, instead of just screaming shitty excuses. There isn't a difference here between saying "I won't date you because of your race" and "I won't date you because I don't find you attractive" when you basically referring to someone's race being a dealbreaker for you, and thus refusing to date an entire race of people because that. It's still racist.

To add onto this, you are also highlighting how ignorant you are of what tends to go on within the black community, specifically within the black community in the West. Black men tend not to date black women, not because they don't find them attractive, but mostly due to misogynoir. A lot of black men usually followup on comments about not dating black women with commoners about them being "ghetto", "loud", "masculine", "aggressive", and so on. This attitude that they have towards black women is also only ever towards brown and dark-skinned black women. Black women who are light-skinned or part white are generally preferred since they are seen as closer to whiteness. It's a status thing.

 

[Intoxicated]

There isn't a difference here between saying "I won't date you because of your race" and "I won't date you because I don't find you attractive" when you basically referring to someone's race being a dealbreaker for you, and thus refusing to date an entire race of people because that. It's still racist.

That's simply an exaggeration and a misuse of term "racist". It's like saying that all heterosexual men who don't want to date with gays are homophobes and gays who don't want to date with women are misogynists.

 

[Ozzyno]

Have you ever actually bother to question why that is? This is the issue I have you people. You'll claim not to be racist but that doesn't make you not racist. An aspect of standing against racism is taking the time to evaluate your racial biases and why you feel or view people of a certain race in a particular way, instead of just screaming shitty excuses. There isn't a difference here between saying "I won't date you because of your race" and "I won't date you because I don't find you attractive" when you basically referring to someone's race being a dealbreaker for you, and thus refusing to date an entire race of people because that. It's still racist.

To add onto this, you are also highlighting how ignorant you are of what tends to go on within the black community, specifically within the black community in the West. Black men tend not to date black women, not because they don't find them attractive, but mostly due to misogynoir. A lot of black men usually followup on comments about not dating black women with commoners about them being "ghetto", "loud", "masculine", "aggressive", and so on. This attitude that they have towards black women is also only ever towards brown and dark-skinned black women. Black women who are light-skinned or part white are generally preferred since they are seen as closer to whiteness. It's a status thing.

Most white men in Europe prefer white women, and in any European country there is a white majority. I cannot even say that I prefer white women over black ones? I've seen attractive black women but it's a minority of them. Now you wanna tell me I am racist because I said that I find most black women not attractive to me?

I said 'dealbreaker' and I probably used the wrong word, you also have to consider that unlike you I am writing in a foreign language, I speak dialect, Italian, German, French and English, this is my fifth language, don't analyse every single word with the microscope and look at what I said.

I'm not gonna comment on black culture because I don't care about it. I can just speak as an European. To say that men prefer white women over black ones because they are racists is pathetic, it's like saying that women prefer muscular dudes over fat ones because they are fat phobic.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I am also one of the people who really struggles with being single. I don't understand how some people "enjoy it".

 

[Ozzyno]

I am also one of the people who really struggles with being single. I don't understand how some people "enjoy it".

Have you ever been in a relationship? Finding a good partner is really difficult and when you are with the wrong person it feels bad, being alone is not worse than that. I also would love to be in a good relationship but when I think about my last one I can enjoy my solitude much more.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Have you ever been in a relationship? Finding a good partner is really difficult and when you are with the wrong person it feels bad, being alone is not worse than that. I also would love to be in a good relationship but when I think about my last one I can enjoy my solitude much more.

I was in one for a few months, but it didn't work out. I find life much more bearable when I am in one.

 

[Valhala]

I am sorry for the situation you are in. I completely understand you, although my problem is of a completely different nature. I lost my beloved wife because I broke up with her several times, which disappointed and angered her. All our breakups were purely the result of mistakes in communication, however now everything seems completely lost. No, I really don't have a problem with finding another person, nor with that person falling in love with me and loving me, my problem is that I am not able to love and to really want another woman besides her and she is now completely unavailable to me, although somewhere I feel that she is not indifferent to me either, but her anger is what keeps her away from me and makes the whole thing almost impossible. No matter how much I try, in all possible ways , to get her back, nothing has worked and I know that I cannot turn away from her in any way. My life without her has completely lost all meaning.

 

[Ozzyno]

I was in one for a few months, but it didn't work out. I find life much more bearable when I am in one.

Don't think many people out there are in perfect relationships, most of them will stay in miserable relationships because of fear of being alone… would you prefer that?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Most white men in Europe prefer white women, and in any European country there is a white majority. I cannot even say that I prefer white women over black ones? I've seen attractive black women but it's a minority of them. Now you wanna tell me I am racist because I said that I find most black women not attractive to me?

I said 'dealbreaker' and I probably used the wrong word, you also have to consider that unlike you I am writing in a foreign language, I speak dialect, Italian, German, French and English, this is my fifth language, don't analyse every single word with the microscope and look at what I said.

I'm not gonna comment on black culture because I don't care about it. I can just speak as an European. To say that men prefer white women over black ones because they are racists is pathetic, it's like saying that women prefer muscular dudes over fat ones because they are fat phobic.

I love you are more offended over the idea of being racist over the idea that you and others might actually be partaking in racism. It's just pathetic. Also, claiming that only a minority or black women are attractive sounds pretty fucking racist. You aren't helping yourself here.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Don't think many people out there are in perfect relationships, most of them will stay in miserable relationships because of fear of being alone… would you prefer that?

I really don't know; I've never been in a "bad relationship".

 

[Ozzyno]

I love you are more offended over the idea of being racist over the idea that you and others might actually be partaking in racism. It's just pathetic. Also, claiming that only a minority or black women are attractive sounds pretty fucking racist. You aren't helping yourself here.

I am not offended over anything you say to be honest, you are just really really unpleasant to have a conversation with because you want to attack me for no reason, I am not here to have a bad time or to argue with people. I was not offending anyone so I don't really understand why you keep doing that. Instead of being so aggressive all the time you could start by thinking that on this side of the screen there isn't the bad person you think there is. I am not a monster I don't know why you start with an attack every time.

No, saying that to me a minority of black women are attractive is not racist at all, it's a matter of looks, I also don't really like women with blonde hair, what does that make me be?

I really don't know; I've never been in a "bad relationship".

So why did your relationship end?