being seen as creepy.

[unabletocope]

once you're seen as creepy, you're fucked. suicide is an exit from this. once you have a reputation for creepiness, even if you never really did anything to establish it or to accumulate it and it just happened, it just picked up over the course of your life, you're fucked. waiting to die at this point. can't wait to take a bunch of meds and blow my brains out, if i had a gun i would blow my brains out in that way. everything is hopeless.

 

[Traveller12724]

once you're seen as creepy, you're fucked. suicide is an exit from this. once you have a reputation for creepiness, even if you never really did anything to establish it or to accumulate it and it just happened, it just picked up over the course of your life, you're fucked. waiting to die at this point. can't wait to take a bunch of meds and blow my brains out, if i had a gun i would blow my brains out in that way. everything is hopeless.

If you don't mind me asking, how did that perception of you emerge ? Did someone spread rumors about you ? Did you stare at someone for too long ? Where did it all originate ?

 

[Nothing87]

Damn I felt your pain and hopelessness. Due to being socially awkward I always got accused/seen as a creep and It hurts a lot.

Don't worry my friend, all of this pain will end soon

 

[unabletocope]

If you don't mind me asking, how did that perception of you emerge ? Did someone spread rumors about you ? Did you stare at someone for too long ? Where did it all originate ?

rumours emerged over something i did. from then i have been decimated as a human being and i will die over it, no matter how much my parents try to convince me no one cares and that i am a nobody. even nobodies can be seen as creepy.

 

[kyhoti]

I'm there with you on this. Some people have turned against me and would end me if they could. It is a shitty place to be. I plan on beating them to it if I can. I won't fight them should they go for it. Best wishes on your journey.

 

[unabletocope]

maybe i did too much, went too far. i was on the edge, i needed to know who was there. i was on my own. no one understands, I just suffered glib phrases like 'it's all your choices, you made an honest mistake'. either way, i am going to kill myself soon enough.

 

[dolemitedrums]

May as well just tell us what happened.

 

[unabletocope]

May as well just tell us what happened.

why, so you can get off on someone who is on the edge? i don't think so, go look for a spectacle somewhere else

 

[dolemitedrums]

why, so you can get off on someone who is on the edge? i don't think so, go look for a spectacle somewhere else

You're the one who started a thread about being seen as creepy and then beat around the bush with vagueness when people responded. The inclination at that point is for people to just assume the worst unless you have something better to offer. Doesn't matter to me really but so far the thread just invites negative speculation.

You "went too far." You were "on the edge." "Honest mistake" but you're going to kill yourself over it. Okay... What are people supposed to think.

 

[unabletocope]

You're the one who started a thread about being seen as creepy and then beat around the bush with vagueness when people responded. The inclination at that point is for people to just assume the worst unless you have something better to offer. Doesn't matter to me really but so far the thread just invites negative speculation.

whatever, i am not your spectacle and will not be baited by you.

 

[dolemitedrums]

whatever, i am not your spectacle and will not be baited by you.

It's your thread about being creepy, dude. I didn't start it.

Elaborate or don't, I don't care. But how are people supposed to give you good advice or meaningful responses based on your vague statements so far.

 

[unabletocope]

It's your thread about being creepy, dude. I didn't start it.

i am not your spectacle and will not be baited by you. accept that and focus on your own reasons for using this site instead of engaging with me.



moving on- today may just be the day where i finally act instead of live in limbo. i may finally overcome this mental pressure by shutting down for good. i consider setting myself on fire again. hanging, SN, meds. i want to do something. i want to break the barrier and exit.

 

[dolemitedrums]

moving on- today may just be the day where i finally act instead of live in limbo. i may finally overcome this mental pressure by shutting down for good. i consider setting myself on fire again. hanging, SN, meds. i want to do something. i want to break the barrier and exit.

Well regardless of whatever you did you don't deserve to be set on fire so cross that one off the list at least.

 

[unabletocope]

Well regardless of whatever you did you don't deserve to be set on fire so cross that one off the list at least.

when i said to you don't engage with me i meant it, your opinion of what i deserve is worthless.

 

[dolemitedrums]

when i said to you don't engage with me i meant it, your opinion of what i deserve is worthless.

Okay good luck with all the hordes of other people clamoring and champing at the bit to talk about your creepiness or lack thereof.

 

[unabletocope]

Okay good luck with all the hordes of other people clamoring and champing at the bit to talk about your creepiness or lack thereof.

when i said to you don't engage with me i meant it, this is the point where that message gets through to you and stands.

 

[lita-lassi]

youre creating more of a spectacle by aggressively saying nothing and telling people to leave you alone in a thread you started, just sayin

 

[unabletocope]

youre creating more of a spectacle by aggressively saying nothing and telling people to leave you alone in a thread you started, just sayin

not really. i open up on my terms, i won't be baited to open up.


moving on again- some of these feelings are pathetic. breaking through deep rooted issues. still suicidal. so shattered, drained, exhausted. not sure if some weird religious mindset is at play here. brainwashed by my environment, stuck with deep rooted habits that caused things to go wrong. maybe its more than religion, maybe it's the culture
and again. I realise now i have been bulldozed over. someone described me once as being all over the road. that is correct. i am in bits and pieces, body parts in different places.

 

[unabletocope]

regardless of what happens, i won't be baited on here by people who are so self absorbed in their sense of what an obvious thing to say is, i am free to make a thread about difficult topics here on my terms, i don't think anyone should be made to feel castigated because of someone else's warped sense of what obvious communication is, i don't owe you anything.
moving on once more- finding it harder, darker. eating and drinking less.

 

[derpyderpins]

It's a confidence killer for sure. I was called "creepy" directly twice as a teen and have never forgotten or gotten over it. It's a cruel insult, because it's attacking the fact that you care, along with some intangible quality you can't really change. Your interest itself is labeled repulsive.

But I did have relationships after that and now have someone with me for life. New beginnings, new groups, new values, new interests, new traits and mannerisms ... Eventually I got there.

 

[Kavka]

Based on some of the replies here, I'm not sure what you want to discuss in this thread, so I'll just share a silly anecdote. Someone once told me that if I got a better haircut, I could look like a handsome school shooter. I still think about that compliment all the time.

People judge each other all the time for the most superficial reasons. I know this is easier said than done, but how you are perceived and who you are are two different things. Most of the creepy stuff is done by people who don't look the part.

 

[unabletocope]

Based on some of the replies here, I'm not sure what you want to discuss in this thread, so I'll just share a silly anecdote. Someone once told me that if I got a new haircut, I could look like a handsome school shooter. I still think about that compliment all the time.

People judge each other all the time for the most superficial reasons. I know this is easier said than done, but how you are perceived and who you are are two different things. Most of the creepy stuff is done by people who don't look the part.

i suppose this thread was an attempt to open up about difficult things that motivate me to suicide. i accept i am going to kill myself regardless of how much of it resolves, too much has gone wrong out of it, i am crippled and compressed by my position in life as a spectacle, i have been shattered over the last 10plus years into someone who wants to live into feeling focused on a suicide, part of my issues revolves around feeling like i made choices that shattered me massively in a very public way while potentially being in a position to achieve things, i don't know. i try to be careful about how i open up, i don't like being pressured to open up, particularly when the pressure to be open is quite superficial


moving on again- aggression has finally killed me off. i've been knocked to pieces. i'm practically braindead, comatose at this point.

 

[unabletocope]

it's just like a never ending beat down. punch after punch after punch after punch. knock knock knock knock. if you're not aggressive in life you're fucked. my dad was a useless simp, he had no idea how to be a real man. i guess i followed in his footsteps and ended up as the weakling i am today. suicide will be good for me, one less weak weed in the gene pool.
maybe in death i will become a real man.

 

[HighFlight]

@unabletocope - I feel for you plight, as I often feel like I am the creepy old man my grandfather warned me about when I was like 12 years old. He told me that their are older men at the parks that try to lure teenagers in. That was in the late 1970s.

My cardiologist tells me I need to get exercise on a regular basis and the most consistent way for me is to hike the trails in the local parks. I feel totally judged and am convinced I come across as creepy. People I pass on the trail won't make eye contact or say hello, which fuels the feelings of isolation - they don't want me here.

I realize that much of this is in my head, and people probably don't care. But regardless, I respect their feelings and keep to myself; often finding the trails less traveled.

However, I won't let other dictate whether I ctb or not. That is a personal choice only you can make for yourself. My only advice would be to look closely at your situation and determine if ending your life is truly the only option. I'd like to believe there are other options available if you're willing to try. But only you know the full situation.

Best of luck, and I hope you can find some peace.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

once you're seen as creepy, you're fucked. suicide is an exit from this. once you have a reputation for creepiness, even if you never really did anything to establish it or to accumulate it and it just happened, it just picked up over the course of your life, you're fucked. waiting to die at this point. can't wait to take a bunch of meds and blow my brains out, if i had a gun i would blow my brains out in that way. everything is hopeless.

I totally agree with this. For some reason I have repelled people since I was young.
I don't know why, I don't know what I did. It just is.
You have my sympathy.
It's awful to go through life like this.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

when i said to you don't engage with me i meant it, your opinion of what i deserve is worthless.

when i said to you don't engage with me i meant it, this is the point where that message gets through to you and stands.

Reading this whole thread has led me (a passerby) to say that you really seem like an asshole, I can kind of see why people dont like you if this is really how you talk to randoms. Maybe just fix your attitude and you won't have such a hard time with peers

lol "don't engage with me". this is a online public space, people can say whatever they want. You cant just pick and choose who comments if they say something you don't necessarily want to read

 

[Neon Grave]

Reading this whole thread has led me (a passerby) to say that you really seem like an asshole, I can kind of see why people dont like you if this is really how you talk to randoms. Maybe just fix your attitude and you won't have such a hard time with peers

lol "don't engage with me". this is a online public space, people can say whatever they want. You cant just pick and choose who comments if they say something you don't necessarily want to read

Exactly this. This may be a forum about suicide, but most people will feel naturally inclined to offer advice or support where they can. Making a post like this and then yelling at anyone who asks you to elaborate feels like bait. Nobody is trying to "trick" you. They want to help.

 

[unabletocope]

Reading this whole thread has led me (a passerby) to say that you really seem like an asshole, I can kind of see why people dont like you if this is really how you talk to randoms. Maybe just fix your attitude and you won't have such a hard time with peers

lol "don't engage with me". this is a online public space, people can say whatever they want. You cant just pick and choose who comments if they say something you don't necessarily want to read

absolute rubbish. if someone is going to castigate me for being vague and then imply it's just a case of me making a thread and attacking anyone who claims to want to help then i'm not interested and want nothing to.do with them, it's so easy for someone else to take a shot at someone who is struggling, it's so hard to get help when you are struggling and it's so crucial to be open in a careful way, i just won't be bullied or baited to be open or made to feel like a terrible person because i took issue with someone who felt i should just 'get the hell on with it and tell people about my life situations because you made the thread so open the hell up already' that's not the kind of attitude i am interested in engaging with and that doesn't make me anything

Exactly this. This may be a forum about suicide, but most people will feel naturally inclined to offer advice or support where they can. Making a post like this and then yelling at anyone who asks you to elaborate feels like bait. Nobody is trying to "trick" you. They want to help.

anyone who feels i should just 'get the hell on with it, stop being vague, stop beating around the bush' is not trying to help, they want a spectacle and i called it out, if you don't like it then that's too bad but when it comes to this sort of situation a spade is a spade and i don't need to be whacked with a spade, i've been whacked and beaten to death with spades enough in life as it is already

@unabletocope - I feel for you plight, as I often feel like I am the creepy old man my grandfather warned me about when I was like 12 years old. He told me that their are older men at the parks that try to lure teenagers in. That was in the late 1970s.

My cardiologist tells me I need to get exercise on a regular basis and the most consistent way for me is to hike the trails in the local parks. I feel totally judged and am convinced I come across as creepy. People I pass on the trail won't make eye contact or say hello, which fuels the feelings of isolation - they don't want me here.

I realize that much of this is in my head, and people probably don't care. But regardless, I respect their feelings and keep to myself; often finding the trails less traveled.

However, I won't let other dictate whether I ctb or not. That is a personal choice only you can make for yourself. My only advice would be to look closely at your situation and determine if ending your life is truly the only option. I'd like to believe there are other options available if you're willing to try. But only you know the full situation.

Best of luck, and I hope you can find some peace.

thanks.

 

[godbody]

absolute rubbish. if someone is going to castigate me for being vague and then imply it's just a case of me making a thread and attacking anyone who claims to want to help then i'm not interested and want nothing to.do with them, it's so easy for someone else to take a shot at someone who is struggling, it's so hard to get help when you are struggling and it's so crucial to be open in a careful way, i just won't be bullied or baited to be open or made to feel like a terrible person because i took issue with someone who felt i should just 'get the hell on with it and tell people about my life situations because you made the thread so open the hell up already' that's not the kind of attitude i am interested in engaging with and that doesn't make me anything

anyone who feels i should just 'get the hell on with it, stop being vague, stop beating around the bush' is not trying to help, they want a spectacle and i called it out, if you don't like it then that's too bad but when it comes to this sort of situation a spade is a spade and i don't need to be whacked with a spade, i've been whacked and beaten to death with spades enough in life as it is already

thanks.

Nobody is telling you get the hell on with it they're saying why beat around the bush & be vague, & wondering what the point of this post even is — should the advice be "People make mistakes & act weird & do weird shit, it's ok" or should it be "you did nothing wrong." Advice can be neutral but it feels best to give advice coming from a place of information, that's just the desire of most people. They want the context so they can give appropriate advice, not to attack you or to make a spectacle or to keep fuelling that rumour, but because they see you're stuck & want to help…. but it's frankly off-putting & feels like you can't give advice to someone stone-walling so hard. You could have just said "I don't want to discuss what happened at all" instead of some misleading bullshit about "going too far" & how you "did something". It makes your entire post feel like bait, not the people here asking for context to your struggle, & it feels like you're disingenuously trying to posit yourself as a victim to these comments.

 

[unabletocope]

Nobody is telling you get the hell on with it they're saying why beat around the bush & be vague, & wondering what the point of this post even is — should the advice be "People make mistakes & act weird & do weird shit, it's ok" or should it be "you did nothing wrong." Advice can be neutral but it feels best to give advice coming from a place of information, that's just the desire of most people. They want the context so they can give appropriate advice, not to attack you or to make a spectacle or to keep fuelling that rumour, but because they see you're stuck & want to help…. but it's frankly off-putting & feels like you can't give advice to someone stone-walling so hard. You could have just said "I don't want to discuss what happened at all" instead of some misleading bullshit about "going too far" & how you "did something". It makes your entire post feel like bait, not the people here asking for context to your struggle, & it feels like you're disingenuously trying to posit yourself as a victim to these comments.

i made a thread. was i asking for help? not necessarily. more just opening up as carefully as i can. i struggle with difficult experiences, i open up about them carefully. i am in a position where to some extent i have to be open to get help but i am doing it carefully and on my terms. i know i can't be helped to some extent, the extent to which I am seen as a creep is permanent, when your life is destroyed on the back of it you become attuned to feeling beaten down and so you have to tread carefully with the pieces you have, you have to salvage what you can to be able to function. anything or anyone that pushes me out of being able to do that is not a constructive presence