distantutopia
Nietzsche was right
- Aug 5, 2023
- 14
That deafening silence after an argument with someone you thought cared about you. That deafening silence after you found out something you shouldn't have. That silence in my apartment, in my head, outside - as if the world just stopped. Trying not to cry, not wanting to argue about stuff that hurt you and still does. So you eat it up, let the thoughts win, take over and make your life miserable. I feel so numb, I can't even comprehend anything right now. I was suicidal and depressed for a long time and everything is crushing down again just because I wanted some loyalty and love. Real Love.
I hate myself, I'm not good enough if he needs to watch other people, i'm not good enough for him to stop watching others.
I was never enough, not for my parents, my teachers, my bosses, coworkers, friends…..for no one.
I never hated life this much bevor, it's nit even about dying anymore, or pain relief.
My existence wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to be here at all.
Dear God if you are up there, let me die in peace - without any guilt or shame.
I hate myself, I'm not good enough if he needs to watch other people, i'm not good enough for him to stop watching others.
I was never enough, not for my parents, my teachers, my bosses, coworkers, friends…..for no one.
I never hated life this much bevor, it's nit even about dying anymore, or pain relief.
My existence wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to be here at all.
Dear God if you are up there, let me die in peace - without any guilt or shame.
