Bear1234’s Goodbye Thread (Successful DMC SN)

[Chinaski]

The mods have told me off about my use of language towards this ophelia person but this is because tone is more important than content to those people, they can't be trusted to moderate appropriately so here is another example of this weirdo death fetishist befriending folk so they can see them die for online clout. Not my words folks, but "do not engage" indeed.

Hey all,

I was honored to have this person's companionship, friendship, and ultimate trust in what was the biggest moments. Before I go forward, this is a request to please respect this thread, please do not try to source within it, please do not derail it. I welcome any questions that do not relate to sourcing. Please treat this thread as if it was written by the user. They were beautiful and kind, and fucking hilarious. I like to think we brought each other joy in their last month on this plain. They deserve your well wishes.


To be clear, this was October 2nd, 11pm their time (first SN cup), in the early evening for me. I stayed on the call until I was sure, and there was no voices in the background, (IE outside their apartment) no nothing, and they have not shown back up, therefore I am assuming success. I know that if they survived I would have heard by now. The source was DMC (I was asked to include this as there have been talks about purity concerns and we partially did this to provide information regarding that, in real time. Further clarification, this user did not run it on a panel test beforehand)

Protocol here:

"11 AM : last meal : a 100g natural yogurt and 75g brownie
After that only clear water and 1 red fruit herbal tea
6 PM : I stop drinking
9:20 PM : 1000 mg of paracetamol
10:20 PM : 3x10 mg of meto
11 PM : 25 g or SN from DMC in 50ml water
I drink a second cup if I vomit"

*Note that NO BENZO was taken. See response down thread.

Timed info here, in my time:
(Any questions, just ask)

15:20: Took Meto
15:37: peed after Meto
15:41: "sad but calm"
15:50: Mixing SN to dissolve
15:57: We are both emotional, but calm.
16:00: First Cup SN
16:01: "Really salty"
16:01: Rinsed mouth
16:02: Laid down
16:05: Last clear words, "My heart" (they did not sound scared, likely describing tachycardia)
16:06: Quiet
16:07: — Nothing of note
16:08: — Nothing of note
16:09: Threw up (x 3 ?) / some background noise, some groaning.
16:10: Post puke noises, nothing more of note.
16:11: Coughing, possibly more puking
16:12: Moaning, I hear the reaction after drinking the 2nd cup.
16:13: Light groaning, heavy breath sounds
16:14: Quieter breath sounds
16:15: Hoarse breath sounds, grunt-like breath, possibly nearing unconsciousness.
16:16: Fast breath
16:17: Quieter and quieter breath now, much slower.
16:18: —Nothing of note
16:19: Quiet.
16:20: Quiet.
16:21: Small background noise, no more painful breathing.
16:22: Liquid-like breath sounds, much slower breath
16:23: Slower breath sounds
16:24: Small background noise.
16:25: Quiet, VERY slow breath
16:26: — Nothing of note
16:27: I speak my last words, telling them I love them, to let go.
16:28: Quiet, no more breath sounds evident.
16:29: Quiet.
16:30-17:20 Silence.

End call.


We both have and had the hope that this can somehow help educate others. Discussion is welcome, but please do not use this thread to source, please be respectful.

Thank you all. I really value this community, to those who have reached out, you know who you are

I miss and love you, M. It's not goodbye, it's see you later<3 Thank you for trusting me to have your back.

 

[Permanoir]

This really encourages me with my SN plan. RIP bear

 

[Chinaski]

Hey @rainwillneverstop @nozomu i know you guys have been very active in terms of moderating the old bad language, maybe you also want to look at yet another example of this weirdo seeking out friendship with people on here so he can log their deaths and provide encouragement along the way, this person could feasibly be sick as fuck, i leave it to your expert opinion to decide and explain

First off, I personally want to recognize this amazing person for all they contributed here. Well thought out threads, filled with links to back everything up (always), and a true desire to want to leave a lasting positive contribution to this community they valued so much. For allowing them to speak their mind in a safe space, without being judged etc. Joe has left us with many many threads that will go on to help people make the best choices for themselves. They made too many well informed comments for me to link them all, but you can find them via searching the username; I have linked their originally authored threads below in the comments.

I hope the same for this thread. It was all our hope that it would help inform and educate people who may be also choosing this path.

This documentation was taken by a third party Joe trusted explicitly, and who I have complete trust in their accuracy and reliability. As previously mentioned, please refrain from speculation, since this negates all the safety measures we have taken for the sake of all involved.


Joe believed strongly in the concept of stepping into nothingness, for them, this was the ideal ending to what was a long time filled with pain, both mental and physical. Please respect this thread as if it was written by Joe. Please do not derail it or try to source within it. If there are questions, please make a separate thread and inquire that way, but I am kindly asking that any kind of reaction threads whether peaceful or potential intense reactions to what you may read below, etc do not directly include his username, so as to not mess with the amazing legacy of posts they have left us with. I respect the need and desire to discuss and I encourage it, but please let's do it in a respectful way.

Thank you.

Joe's Goodbye Thread and Protocol can be found here:

Joe Says Goodbye (SN)

Hey you amazing creatures, I am getting my self-deliverance! During my time here at SaSu, I've tried to make this community a little better by sharing what I know, hoping it might help someone else, just as others have helped me. Along the way, I've had the privilege of making some incredible...

sanctioned-suicide.net

—————————

"Joe went into his protocol very dehydrated and running on a complete lack of sleep, they do not suggest this. Take care of your body while you can"

***I have a rough theory that the speed of everything below may be partially attributed to the dehydration they were experiencing***

2:47 Preparing protocol OTC meds, plus 25mg Benadryl (vs the 50mg that is mentioned in their protocol)
2:50 Took the above meds with a small sip of water.
3:05 Took Meto
3:06 "Meto was bitter"
3:30 Preparing YT Brand SN x 3 (25g SN x 50mL water)
3:33 "anxiety wave"
3:36 "a little nervous, but excited"
3:39 "It was observed that allowing the SN to settle and then return to stirring is better than adding more water. Make sure all is dissolved."
3:42 Benzos, chewed up and taken with a small amount of water.
3:51 Glass 1 - "Very salty"
3:58 Mentioned bathroom, unclear if they got up in that moment.
4:00 Some low groans, it was the friends understanding that it's unlikely they got up as things seem to happen very fast.
4:01 "Second glass is a no go"
4:02 Spaced out breath, possibly in and out of consciousness, no longer responding clearly.
4:03 Temporary silence, microphone may have been obscured temporarily as audio picks back up clearly in a short time.
4:10 Small background noise
4:13 Small breath sounds, sounds may be compromised still. Friend believes they may be unconscious now as they are not responding.
4:15 Audio is clearer now, breath is more spaced out now.
4:16 Slower, ragged breath.
4:17 Slightly high pitched breath, still very spaced.
4:18 Ragged, slow breath, definitely unconscious.
4:19 Longer breath sounds, still very spaced out.
4:20 Slower breath, not labored, low grunt noise.
4:21 Very ragged, almost akin to a snore
4:22 Very spaced out breath sounds.
4:23 Even more spaced out breath sounds
4:24 Same as above.
4:25 VERY SLOW, final breath sound.
4:26-5:20 Silence


Now, before everyone goes off the rails asking why they did not throw up. This is pretty rare. There were no typos or mistaken noise, the person who gave me this account was VERY CLEAR that Joe did not throw up, they asked how they were feeling nausea wise a couple times, and it seemed like things were already starting to affect them in terms of hearing clearly etc. Essentially one minute they were talking, the next it was low groans, a check in on the second glass, and things QUICKLY escalated.

You can see the test results for this source (YT Brand) on the Goodbye Thread written by Joe at the top of this post.

As far as is my understanding, Joe went as quickly and as peacefully as is possible with this method. I do not personally recommend going into this dehydrated and I can't speak on whether it really had anything to do with absorbing the SN etc. If someone wants to make a thread discussing this, feel free, but please don't do it here.



Many, many thanks. I appreciate the hell out of our amazing mods, this community, and feel peace knowing my buddy is at peace.

 

[userharsh]

Well, here we are again. If you had the good luck to interact with this wonderful human, you'll maybe have an idea of how this one is a bit tough, especially given the time of year, which, I know affects a lot of us in this community. The timed details were given by a trusted third party. Bear has a dear friend here, and I'd be doing Bear a disservice by not mentioning them. @Traveller12724 was an amazing friend to Bear, they talked everyday for five months and I know they are feeling this loss. Please be kind. Bear was a feisty soul but ultimately gentle and they deserve your well wishes. They were also raised with very traditional Indian (as in India, though I shouldn't have to specify) parents and it stuck, in some of their beliefs. If you're familiar, or are on the same path this thread is open for blessings etc


As per usual,

Please remain respectful.
Please do not derail the goodbye thread.
If you have a hot take on what is posted, kindly make another thread,
please leave the username out, so as to not have their goodbye thread associated with potential fear mongers and misinformation.
And finally, please do not try to source anything in this thread, thank you.

Bear was diagnosed with Interstitial cystitis, and they had run through the course of possible medical treatments. Eventually they ventured into the holistic field, they were not met with relief or answers. They saw the quality of life going forward and made the decision that made the most sense. A year and a half of trying, yet there was no real relief in sight.


This user left this plain on Dec 20/21st (stroke of midnight basically)

10:00 800mg Ibuprofen
10:26 Meto 30mg "chalky"
11:17 First SN cup
11:20 "don't feel good" - not panicking
11:25 Low moans and groans, nothing too harsh.
11:26 Breath sounds, user DID NOT throw up.
11:29 No response when called out to, only breath sounds, likely unconscious.
11:33 Definitely unconscious, deep sleep breath type snore noise
11:34 Choppy breath/more snore like sounds, things feel calm.
11:37 Deep sleep like sounds
11:40 Silence



————-

They fought, hard. Those days where it felt like too much during treatment, this song helped them push through. They were able to laugh about this and other things in those final moments:





Discussion is always welcome, please remain respectful.

much love, SaSu fam

~O

11:17 drink sn and 11:33 unconscious, it is not possible, I already survive sn, it take near about an hour to become unconscious

 

[needthebus]

thank you @opheliaoveragain. posting this gives more information to the community.

in his situation, it sounds like his quality of life woukd have been terrible and he had tried everything and probably saved himself a lot of pain and agony.

the minute by minute thing helps people know what could happen. i am not sure if i will actually ctb, despite sorrow and pain, but the groan you mentioned makes me think of buying heroin and trying to use some if ctb just so that it's less painful, although it didn't sound bad

im especially grateful for you sharing when some pro-lifers don't recognize that this is a scary and difficult choice to make and more information is always valuable to those who are certain or on the fence.

 

[Dot]

Hey @rainwillneverstop @nozomu i know you guys have been very active in terms of moderating the old bad language, maybe you also want to look at yet another example of this weirdo seeking out friendship with people on here so he can log their deaths and provide encouragement along the way, this person could feasibly be sick as fuck, i leave it to your expert opinion to decide and explain

Am defntly opn t/ rportng ctb vyeurs & hve mixd feelngs abt trnscrpts etc bcse thre r 4 yrs wrth of SN dcumentatn on frum nw bt frm wht tht usr sd thy wre only messngr in ths cse & th/ dcumentng/loggng ws dne b/ sme1 els

"This documentation was taken by a third party Joe trusted explicitly, and who I have complete trust in their accuracy and reliability."

"the person who gave me this account was VERY CLEAR that Joe did not throw up"

Slf am fne wth b-ing corrctd if hve missd smethng bcse am readng whle eatng creal @ 5am & only temprrly awke bt hve gt impressn tht OP = prxy postr ths tme s/ thy wre nt invlvd wth th/ loggng or accompnyng th/ usr durng thr ctb

Also lks as tho Atheist Joe ws th/ persn wh/ dcumentd Placo ctb & thn askd sme1 t/ dcumnt thr own whch othr ppl thn lookd @ bcse thy r follwng SN methd etc s/ = feelng mre lke grp of frnds dcumntng fr ech-othr rathr thn 1 persn rubbng thr thighs whle th/ othrs arnd thm all drnk th/ salt

= nt uncommn fr ppl investd in idea of usng SN thmslves t/ b fix8td on SN ctbs

Am nt goin2 hde fct tho tht am gttng cnfusd wth th/ chains of threds & shld prbbly lk l8tr whn am mre awke

 

[howunfortunateforme]

11:17 drink sn and 11:33 unconscious, it is not possible, I already survive sn, it take near about an hour to become unconscious

Can someone weigh in on this?

 

[bluepotato]

Rip Bear, you are in a better place

 

[TheHolySword]

Can someone weigh in on this?

SN affects people differently. There are a variety of factors. The general estimated time to become unconscious is 30m-1hr but this is not guaranteed matter of fact. It could take shorter, it could take longer. One person's experience is not everyone's experience. That is one of the most important things to remember for any method.

 

[howunfortunateforme]

SN affects people differently. There are a variety of factors. The general estimated time to become unconscious is 30m-1hr but this is not guaranteed matter of fact. It could take shorter, it could take longer. One person's experience is not everyone's experience. That is one of the most important things to remember for any method.

30 min to an hour?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

30 min to an hour?

in my opinion, the hour long bit may depend on dosing and body weight as well as the fast. lots of factors at play. from what's on here, it's been observed several times from different people to be around 25-30 min from ingestion to unconsciousness. like @TheHolySword said, one persons experience may not be like the other. we assume throwing up is a certainty but not everyone has. everyone's body is different even though the general side affects are the same throughout

edit to add: if anyone needs or wants to continue relevant conversation, pretty please make another thread, it's ok to reference this post or whatever but this post has already been marred and derailed when it's meant to be a farewell thread.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Weighing in on the above debate, without being asked...
And, full disclosure, I was friends with people who have had death logs or however it was referred to upthread.
I believe in free speech.
I believe SaSu should be a safe space, with some basic respect.
Yes, I know it is the internet.
I have zero problems with people reporting suspicious behaviours, I actually think that's responsible & something to be investigated of any user that is flagged to mods.
I also like reading the documented accounts. When I've known the person & when I haven't. I think they're useful & necessary & reassuring & all sorts of things. Something I've considered myself.
On the free speech theme, I personally hate the "do not engage" comments, even when I truly believe the best course of action is to not engage. Because, free speech.
Evidence of this is Joe posting a do not engage & shortly after, I engaged. No regrets.
So while I can see both sides of this clearly, the thing that really sticks out to me, my "opinion" - one random stranger on the internet to another, with the full acknowledgement that I broke this myself (out of ignorance, not intentional disrespect) is that this thread is a GBT & they should be treated reapectfully. All other concerns & arguments & requests etc have their place, so find it. Find that place. Start your own threads. Do what you need to. Say what you need to. Report who or what you need to. Go nuts. Both sides.
But GBT's are places to honour the legacy of those who have gone before us & to provide comfort to those that are left behind, like their dear friend, who doesn't need to read this shit, on top of their grief & on top of their own shit.
Including this bitches yappy opinion.
I'm sorry for intruding on a GBT, I'm not sorry for engaging.
To Bear & to their friend @Traveller12724 - I hope you both find peace or nothingness or whatever you were looking for or whatever you need. My thoughts remain solely with the 2 of you, rather than whatever else comes before or after my post.

 

[emptinessdancing]

Bear was my favorite human being for the last 5 months, we shared moments of laughter, sadness, and pure hopelessness and despair in our chats, I always looked forward to hearing from them when I woke up and I was there every time they got back from yet another failed treatment, and they were there for me through my journey of quitting my job and starting to work on my bucket list. Hell they even helped write the letter to my boss when I had no energy and all I wanted was for everything to stop.

Bear will always hold a special place in my heart, we both knew and talked about what a bad idea it is to get attached to people here on Sasu given that we all tend not to stick around too long but we realized we couldn't help but care deeply about each other and we accepted the heartache that may come out of it, it was a price worth paying we thought and having paid it in full the past week I can confidently tell you that it was worth it and I have no regrets.

To be honest though, I had thought I would be the first to go because we thought Bear would go through treatments for a long while but options run out pretty fast and they found themselves at the end. Before everything went to hell though, me and Bear had celebrated another friend of mine here on SaSu achieving and sustaining recovery and getting off the CTB journey. We were very happy for that user even though we knew we were still both destined for CTB. As I live out my last months and checking things off my bucket list, I take comfort in the fact that Bear was loved dearly in this lifetime and I hoped to god Bear knew it. I hope for nothingness after I ctb but if there is an afterlife, I will look for them for as long as it will take.

Lastly @opheliaoveragain thank you for making a goodbye thread for Bear, you are such an amazing person, I appreciate you for your love for my dear friend Bear.

I am shook. I would love nothing more than to find a connection like you had with Bear in my final days. And I cannot help but reel over the fact that you say you are living out your last months before checking off your bucket list and then CTB. I am sure you are not alone. However, if should find yourself--- at any point in your process-- that you are feeling alone. Fucking reach out to me (I am a full believer in a well-placed F-Bomb). I mean it. Your story will stick with me no matter what, and I will think of you often no matter what.

Weighing in on the above debate, without being asked...
And, full disclosure, I was friends with people who have had death logs or however it was referred to upthread.
I believe in free speech.
I believe SaSu should be a safe space, with some basic respect.
Yes, I know it is the internet.
I have zero problems with people reporting suspicious behaviours, I actually think that's responsible & something to be investigated of any user that is flagged to mods.
I also like reading the documented accounts. When I've known the person & when I haven't. I think they're useful & necessary & reassuring & all sorts of things. Something I've considered myself.
On the free speech theme, I personally hate the "do not engage" comments, even when I truly believe the best course of action is to not engage. Because, free speech.
Evidence of this is Joe posting a do not engage & shortly after, I engaged. No regrets.
So while I can see both sides of this clearly, the thing that really sticks out to me, my "opinion" - one random stranger on the internet to another, with the full acknowledgement that I broke this myself (out of ignorance, not intentional disrespect) is that this thread is a GBT & they should be treated reapectfully. All other concerns & arguments & requests etc have their place, so find it. Find that place. Start your own threads. Do what you need to. Say what you need to. Report who or what you need to. Go nuts. Both sides.
But GBT's are places to honour the legacy of those who have gone before us & to provide comfort to those that are left behind, like their dear friend, who doesn't need to read this shit, on top of their grief & on top of their own shit.
Including this bitches yappy opinion.
I'm sorry for intruding on a GBT, I'm not sorry for engaging.
To Bear & to their friend @Traveller12724 - I hope you both find peace or nothingness or whatever you were looking for or whatever you need. My thoughts remain solely with the 2 of you, rather than whatever else comes before or after my post.

This was honestly a beautiful response. Whoever has you, in their corner, is the lucky one. Whatever you need, to you, on your journey. Much love.

 

[Traveller12724]

I am shook. I would love nothing more than to find a connection like you had with Bear in my final days. And I cannot help but reel over the fact that you say you are living out your last months before checking off your bucket list and then CTB. I am sure you are not alone. However, if should find yourself--- at any point in your process-- that you are feeling alone. Fucking reach out to me (I am a full believer in a well-placed F-Bomb). I mean it. Your story will stick with me no matter what, and I will think of you often no matter what.

This was honestly a beautiful response. Whoever has you, in their corner, is the lucky one. Whatever you need, to you, on your journey. Much love.

Thank you for your response, it truly warmed my heart. Ever since Bear's passing it's been hard to be on SaSu while grieving and remembering everything, so I stay away for a little bit but it's always a nice gift when I come back and find heart warming posts like yours, thank you for your offer, I will definitely keep it in mind and reach out when being on SaSu more without Bear is no longer as painful as it is right now. Much love to you my friend!

Weighing in on the above debate, without being asked...
And, full disclosure, I was friends with people who have had death logs or however it was referred to upthread.
I believe in free speech.
I believe SaSu should be a safe space, with some basic respect.
Yes, I know it is the internet.
I have zero problems with people reporting suspicious behaviours, I actually think that's responsible & something to be investigated of any user that is flagged to mods.
I also like reading the documented accounts. When I've known the person & when I haven't. I think they're useful & necessary & reassuring & all sorts of things. Something I've considered myself.
On the free speech theme, I personally hate the "do not engage" comments, even when I truly believe the best course of action is to not engage. Because, free speech.
Evidence of this is Joe posting a do not engage & shortly after, I engaged. No regrets.
So while I can see both sides of this clearly, the thing that really sticks out to me, my "opinion" - one random stranger on the internet to another, with the full acknowledgement that I broke this myself (out of ignorance, not intentional disrespect) is that this thread is a GBT & they should be treated reapectfully. All other concerns & arguments & requests etc have their place, so find it. Find that place. Start your own threads. Do what you need to. Say what you need to. Report who or what you need to. Go nuts. Both sides.
But GBT's are places to honour the legacy of those who have gone before us & to provide comfort to those that are left behind, like their dear friend, who doesn't need to read this shit, on top of their grief & on top of their own shit.
Including this bitches yappy opinion.
I'm sorry for intruding on a GBT, I'm not sorry for engaging.
To Bear & to their friend @Traveller12724 - I hope you both find peace or nothingness or whatever you were looking for or whatever you need. My thoughts remain solely with the 2 of you, rather than whatever else comes before or after my post.

Oh man thank you for speaking the truth, they didn't have to do what they did on my dear friend's GBT, I felt like screaming at them to go post their issues in their own threads but I was afraid of engaging and having it go out of hand cause of my own anger so thanks for standing up for my dear friend's GBT, I appreciate you for everything you said and for trying to be a voice of reason here, Thanks again!!!

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Oh man thank you for speaking the truth, they didn't have to do what they did on my dear friend's GBT, I felt like screaming at them to go post their issues in their own threads but I was afraid of engaging and having it go out of hand cause of my own anger so thanks for standing up for my dear friend's GBT, I appreciate you for everything you said and for trying to be a voice of reason here, Thanks again!!!

You're welcome.
Free speech & respect can coexist.
And should.
I've been meaning to send you a private message - not wanting to derail GBT further & be a hypocrite but also not wanting to intrude on your grief. I thanked the user upthread privately too. But because you answered here, I'll take that as temporary permission & answer here but message you when I have some time. I haven't forgotten your beautiful message, it has really stuck with me. I thank you for your eloquence & putting feelings into words. I hope this doesn't offend you in any way, please take it as the tribute to you & Bear that it is - every day since you wrote it, I've said to my person "what traveller said to Bear" because I didn't have the words you did, but wished I did. You & Bear have been in my thoughts a great deal.

 

[Opera]

First time seeing a death log, it's good information to know about SN. I hope Bear is happier now

 

[Traveller12724]

You're welcome.
Free speech & respect can coexist.
And should.
I've been meaning to send you a private message - not wanting to derail GBT further & be a hypocrite but also not wanting to intrude on your grief. I thanked the user upthread privately too. But because you answered here, I'll take that as temporary permission & answer here but message you when I have some time. I haven't forgotten your beautiful message, it has really stuck with me. I thank you for your eloquence & putting feelings into words. I hope this doesn't offend you in any way, please take it as the tribute to you & Bear that it is - every day since you wrote it, I've said to my person "what traveller said to Bear" because I didn't have the words you did, but wished I did. You & Bear have been in my thoughts a great deal.

It's okay, you are not derailing the GBT or intruding on my grief, in fact Bear would have loved your tribute as much as I do. It was a beautiful message to read and it touched my heart. My heart is always heavy nowadays but little gifts like your words and @emptinessdancing's words and your warmth provide some relief even if just for a night. And yes feel free to message when you can, thanks again my friend

 

[human909]

May them rest in peace.

 

[Catch-22]

It sounds like they went in peace.. I hope they can find peace on the other side