Discussion Bad liars, how do you get through the planning stages without slipping and confessing to someone?

[PurpleVoid]

In my mind, I've made my decision after ten years of depression. I know that it benefits no one to mention my plans in an honest manner. I will just upset my friends and family who I'm aware will do anything to stop me, including locking me up in a psych ward.

But because of my upbringing and habits, I find it excruciatingly hard to lie to them. I find myself getting quiet or tongue-tied when anyone asks me if I have plans to CTB. I want to go through the motions of "treatment" so that people don't get alarmed beforehand, but how can I do so and appear genuine when I really could not give a shit about treatment anymore? Does anyone else have trouble faking this genuineness?

I'd like to know if others have this problem, and how you manage to maintain secrecy (if that's something you have to do).

 

[soft-flower345]

I struggle with maintaining secrecy too, since I really hate lying I often obscure the truth in my responses by cloaking my suicidality with positive affirmations that I am trying, I am giving healing all I've got, I am trying my best despite my feelings. While I don't actually care about trying to stay alive anymore I still go through the motions of communicating that for the ones I care about that I am trying, even though to me it is so painfully in vain. I'm still technically telling the truth, and this makes it easier to "fake" it, but I'm using omission to cloak my intent to CTB.

 

[Aisley]

Could say you're "feeling hopeful of the future" and "for the first time in a long time, planning and looking forward". I mean, it's true, right? No need to lie.

 

[Nights]

We don't, we just don't have that urge that we need to get attention, we hate attention and we most likely loves loneliness and only trusts ourselves, it's simple, just don't have that urge that you need to tell everyone about the big thing that's going on your brain

 

[PurpleVoid]

We don't, we just don't have that urge that we need to get attention, we hate attention and we most likely loves loneliness and only trusts ourselves, it's simple, just don't have that urge that you need to tell everyone about the big thing that's going on your brain

Maybe you're misunderstanding what I mean? I have multiple people who check in with me and who are trying very forcefully to get me to continue a treatment plan for my depression. I don't have to go out of my way or seek attention in order to clue people in to my plans.