Venting backed out last minute.

[wristcutangel]

tried to ctb last night via stabbing but backed out last minute. my friends told me the usual basic "it gets better" bullshit and started acting worried when i didn't respond, then went back to normal the moment i said i'm alive. not even a single new message since last night, not even something irrelevant, let alone a "how do you feel?". all they said after finding out i'm alive is "sorry you feel awful." no fucking shit just saying feeling awful is the understatement of the year. i'm so tired, the only time people seemed to care even slightly was when they assumed i'm already dead. they can't even bother pretending to care for me when im alive. nobody ever does and that's the way it always is, i regret not going through with it yesterday. i'd rather have taken the risk of messing up an attempt then knowing that nobody in the world actually cares for me.

 

[carac]

People tend to think if you back out of it then you didn't really want to go through with it, which couldn't be more wrong usually. Also they think that people who survive an attempt should be happy that they are still alive when often the opposite is true they are in complete despair having failed their one escape.
If you want the brutal truth you have to come to terms with the fact that nobody really cares for you, I know that sounds like a really shitty thing to say to someone, I'm sorry for the way you are feeling right now and I didn't mean to heap on more mess

 

[90starve]

im sorry that your attempt didn't go to plan. in my experience, most humans are inherently selfish and will not genuinely care about you. reaching out and supporting people in crisis tends to be too much effort for most - suicidal people become a burden for reaching out themselves, and we are usually viewed as attention seekers when our plans fail. this is just how the world is, i believe. i hope you can find peace <3

 

[FuneralCry]

To me that method doesn't really sound reliable, it sounds risky as the survival instinct would just kick in leading to more suffering and injuries. But anyway I just think that most people are too self centred to ever care, I'm not surprised that those people acted in such a way.

 

[busybee]

I have seen videos of ctb via stabbing and it looked really painfull and took a while so I can see why your SI would take the upper hand. Takes a lot of courage to do that.