suicide_vamp
Alive enough death, am I dead enough for life.
- Nov 9, 2023
- 2
So I find myself here again, I was part of this site a few years ago, but left and am looking to make connections again.
Brief history I'm 50 and have autism, ADHD, BPD, gad, sad, PTSD.... So yeah life has been tough and I have in the past self harmed and tried to check out.
So reason I'm back .... In June I was hospitalised with pneumonia it was touch and go but they saved me "yay". But when I came round I couldn't speak or walk properly. I have ataxia and apraxia walk with a walker and seriously slurred speech, it's like I had a stroke but the initial CT and MRI showed nothing so I have no diagnosis or treatment plan. I have another scan MRI in a week so hopefully something shows up.
But yeah life is tough and I feel so isolated and alone and can't have normal conversations or go out, after a lifetime of independence I now rely on people for so much, I can't even make phone calls. I have no friends and what's left of family aren't very helpful they see me as a burden.
Just venting I guess.
Brief history I'm 50 and have autism, ADHD, BPD, gad, sad, PTSD.... So yeah life has been tough and I have in the past self harmed and tried to check out.
So reason I'm back .... In June I was hospitalised with pneumonia it was touch and go but they saved me "yay". But when I came round I couldn't speak or walk properly. I have ataxia and apraxia walk with a walker and seriously slurred speech, it's like I had a stroke but the initial CT and MRI showed nothing so I have no diagnosis or treatment plan. I have another scan MRI in a week so hopefully something shows up.
But yeah life is tough and I feel so isolated and alone and can't have normal conversations or go out, after a lifetime of independence I now rely on people for so much, I can't even make phone calls. I have no friends and what's left of family aren't very helpful they see me as a burden.
Just venting I guess.
