GinaIsReady

GinaIsReady

Exit Strategist
Mar 29, 2019
995
I have had the sense that things were fucked up as hell since I can remember.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
One thing that sticks out to me. Children are our future and messages about how much we love kids and want the best for them. Well I didnt feel this way as a kid in the US in public school in the 80's lol! It was more like the opposite happened. Screw the children and their futures lol! Now..I understand that I was an immigrant and with a single mom from Hungary so this made things more complicated but I did become fluent in English within a few years. So it wasn't like I wasn't assimilating.
The public school system is all about the teachers. They all want to teach 4 classes a day, make 60 - 120k a year, Get 12+ weeks of vacation time every year plus unlimited sick days, Have the best most expensive health care plan in existence, retire at age 50 making the same amount of money with the same health care benefits for themselves and their spouse till they both die all at the expense of tax payer money and kids.
 
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I

iiii5555

Student
Sep 12, 2018
121
At the moment i tried to question the religion my parents forced into me. In a surplus-based mass society, where expasion of territory is essential, of course having some delusional set of values would be important to maintain people inert, since it contrives artificial groups and dismisses individual differences. The brutal indoctrination of each new child is how this is ever sustained, making the abusive grooming of pristine minds - the very thing that led me to my questioning of religion and consequential neuroses - is a draconian absolute.
People belive that a child's submission to this process and their subsequent capacity to propagate civilization themselves is the only thing that matters, because that validates the false colonialistic teleology that this macro-culture has manipulated them into adopting. This is a structural problem, however, and blaming individuals for this would be nonsensical. But that doesn't change the fact that minds are getting raping every day.
I hate human domestication.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
Late 30's. Certain things always kind of bugged me since I was aware enough to understand them, but things really didn't hit me until this current presidency.
 
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sadsadinfp

sadsadinfp

Member
Aug 18, 2019
54
I think when I was around 8 or 9, when I'd sit in the room where my dad watched TV, and see the news. It was always full of stories about house fires, robberies, car accidents, shootings. And then they'd show planes taking off to bomb Serbia during the Kosovo War and terrorist attacks in the Middle East.

Horror movies scared me, but even today nothing scares me quite like the news, because it's actually real. The grownup world seemed really scary to me, I didn't understand why all the violence was necessary, or why it was apparently necessary for everybody to know about it. I still don't know the answer to either of those questions.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
The last ten years or so. I regret so much what happened to me because I'd still live in blissful ignorance otherwise. I've learned a lot sure but I don't know how it helps me
 
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seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Arcanist
Dec 11, 2018
454
At about 14. Before then I just felt there was something wrong with me. I mean I still do but I realize there's something wrong with the world too.
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
I think when I was around 8 or 9, when I'd sit in the room where my dad watched TV, and see the news. It was always full of stories about house fires, robberies, car accidents, shootings. And then they'd show planes taking off to bomb Serbia during the Kosovo War and terrorist attacks in the Middle East.

Horror movies scared me, but even today nothing scares me quite like the news, because it's actually real. The grownup world seemed really scary to me, I didn't understand why all the violence was necessary, or why it was apparently necessary for everybody to know about it. I still don't know the answer to either of those questions.

Suicide is wrong, but attacking a neighbour country and dying is ok.
 
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Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
Maybe around 32?

I wish i had known sooner.

Reminds me of when I saw a documentary about a certain drug dealer: when he was a kid, his father would tell him to jump off a cupboard and he'd catch him. He'd catch him like 3 times then just let him drop to the ground on the 4th. Then he said "Let that be a lesson to trust absolutely NO ONE."

Pretty harsh but in retrospect i would have appreciated some lessons like this in early childhood.
 
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Pistolero114

Pistolero114

Veteran
Jun 25, 2019
261
Nine. When I started having what people now tell me was/is being empathic feelings. At 9 you have no idea what to do. So I spent the next thirty five years pouring alcohol on it. It stopped the feelings. Back then you were just called "special"; another colloquialism for crazy.
 
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WinterIsComing

WinterIsComing

Fragile...
May 27, 2019
256
Since i was little...
The wars,the contradiction of not wanting kids asking for money but society's solution is doing an awareness campaign or make some helps that don't last.
Or people's hipocresy....
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
Wars are good for you, if you sell weapons...
 
Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
At 16, when I made the horrific mistake of developing a passion for politics.
 
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JulienSorel

JulienSorel

Member
Aug 28, 2019
68
At age 19 I fell in love. The girl was wonderful, but as I learned more about her, I realized how relationship dynamics work, and how much things like time, sex, anxiety, beauty, and mortality correlate. After sex, I would more often than not run outside for a cigarette, and while thinking during the after feelings of sex, a lot of things would become clear, and everything about it all was plain disturbing.

Money, power, and sex seemed to be the major axioms the world. That was honestly what it felt like. I knew how I felt after sex. I knew the thoughts that left me and the thoughts that stayed, and how it affected my time throughout the day. It seemed I had no choice but to acquire the most money, the most power, and the most beautiful woman. I could not survive if otherwise, and this was how everyone was programmed.

A part of me honestly thought we all could be friends, and I could exist as myself along with everyone else, but it seems were doomed to fight for the last scrap with our last breath.
 
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Pistolero114

Pistolero114

Veteran
Jun 25, 2019
261
I think I may have answered before but I can say with certainty age 12. Sexually assaulted at age twelve by a male "family friend" and trying to convince anyone it was real and they basically was accused of lying.
 
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B

Bluma180

Member
Sep 20, 2019
23
I experienced a number of traumatic events in my teens and twenties. I think I was made much more aware of society's disappointments mostly in my late 30's and now 40's when I truly discovered how selfish people can be, and how seemingly unavoidable traps and can unfold out of nowhere.Two paramount traumatic events in my early 40's really brought the notion front and center.
 
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exhausted

exhausted

Experienced
Oct 22, 2019
253
I was very young when I realised what sexism was. Nothing will ever be the same when you realise that.
 
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enjoy

enjoy

Creature
Dec 20, 2019
337
when my parents tried forcing gender roles on me as a kid. it made me wonder why i had to like pink, want to be a princess instead of a knight, etc. i'm still 100% female today, even though i rebelled against them throughout my teen years. i've never wanted to be a dude, but i did turn out pretty queer. i'm not sure if there's any sort of correlation there. either way, i now feel very comfortable with immersing in my masculine side. toxic femininity's a huge issue that no one seems to talk about, though... everyone's too fixated on toxic masculinity at the moment. i've had my share of bullying from refusing to wear skirts and dresses.

i grew up in a very conservative area, so i began to witness all forms of bigotry at a very young age (starting in 5th grade-ish). kids were notoriously racist, sexist and homophobic. i internalized my self-hatred and for a long time, i was absolutely ashamed of my sexuality. it took me years to accept myself.

realizing that this happens all over the world and that there are probably more homophobic people than lgbt+ allies out there sucks. if i had to give an estimate, i think i realized that society was fucked at around 14 or 15... though i knew something was very wrong with the world at 10 or 11.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,724
I don't have an exact age, but probably sometime around 17 or so, I start to see the motivations of people in the mental health industry and the lies and false promises they give as well as the aggressive advocacy of mental health services and what not. Sure, to be fair, there are people who CAN benefit from it, but instead of blanketly applying it to everyone who doesn't fit the paradigm is just wrong. I also realized that everyone is really out for themselves first, before anyone else. Facebook also opened up reality towards me, people are just so superficial and I learned that if they are going to ghost or be dismissive online, then they certainly don't give two shits about me IRL. I quickly learned that I am alone and people don't really care, they only care about how I affect them (especially their interests and their 'feelings'). Society also doesn't give a shit about the less fortunate (despite what media and what the IRL NPCs (non-playable characters) tell you. They care about themselves first and foremost.
 
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BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
552
Probs 15, but I began to see more fucked up shit at this age since my encounter with a certain someone.
 
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Broken Chimera

Broken Chimera

The abyss also gazes into you
May 27, 2019
972
Around 15. I realized how messed up humanity really was and how blind most people are to it. Once you see and understand that, there's no turning back.
 
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MysticPerception

MysticPerception

I'm back and I'll still smile for you
Dec 31, 2019
1,252
I don't remember the exact age but I think I was 12 when I learned in school that hundreds of people die every single day all around the world and there's nothing we can do about it. That changed my world view completely. It only got worse as I got older and the internet becoming a thing just flooded me with information and truths I never asked for or wanted in the first place. Kinda hard to be ignorant when the reality of things get shoved into your face no matter what you do.
 
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E

Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
I was in my early 20's. I remember distinctly crying, to the point of losing my breath, angry at god, asking him how he could allow so much suffering in the world. The pain of all mankind suddenly became unbearable and it hurt me on a deep, personal level. I felt betrayed, deceived. I was at once angry at god, and realizing he was an invention. I was angry at a non-existent invention, but I didn't know where else I could direct my fury.

I felt like someone had shot a bullet through my kevlar.
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
802
14. It was when I was getting bullied by the kids at school and my teachers would often gossip about me. It hit me that I was really alone and on my own with this. How fucked it all was.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
3 years old.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Suicide is wrong, but attacking a neighbour country and dying is ok.
Right lol! It's that dual morality problem that causes confusion for people in society. It is done on purpose to keep people in cognitive dissonance. Its a form of mind control.
 
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not4us

not4us

Experienced
Sep 21, 2019
246
At early age.. when I was told I had to smile to strangers without any apparent reason and work hard all my life to make ends meet, and that it's expected that during that marvelous journey I have got to produce some more people so that they could repeat this feat once again....

what for? BECAUSE GOD WANTS THAT!

what god? INVISIBLE ONE!

is it a joke? DON'T YOU DARE! HE IS LISTENING YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU WILL MAKE HIM ANGRY!
 

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