Discussion Aside from the potential SI, what compels you to stay? For me..

[StevieNixs]

It's my niece. I so badly want to CTB but have to stay in the short term to try and support her through the death of her mother. She's in a very bad way emotionally and physically.
I'm interested in the ties other people have that keep them here.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Part of me wants to see if having a job, moving out and having good methods on stand-by at my place 24/7 will make my life worth living. I am very sure it won't but I could be wrong. Also my little sister, want her to be a bit older when I do it but it's not a deal breaker if I have a good method locked and loaded, neither is the other thing.

Oh, and there's maybe a 0.001% chance of me getting a girlfriend some-fucking-how (fuck if I know how). That would make suicide unnecessary.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not sure I feel compelled to stay, there isn't much holding me here. I do have a few family members and I know they would be sad but I would never be able to suffer just for the sake of others. My existence is pointless and I have no place in this world. It's also fear of failing a method that holds me back.

 

[Mr2005]

There's things I like and people I'll hurt

 

[stutter]

For me it's the possibility of an afterlife that scares me

 

[WaaaghEnjoyer]

My family is what brought me to this Earth and my family is also what binds me to the mortal realm.
I love them and I am very lucky that the feeling is reciprocated, and thinking about them having to deal with the aftermath is not very good to say the least. Also I'm the only kid in the family (which as per human tradition is expected to live a long life and have a big family with lots of children and eventually end up seeing as my decaying body is slowly losing it's functions) and I've lost a parent a few years ago, thus the emotional pain would be multiplied.
Now, all of this doesn't really matter when the brain is not functioning anymore and thus unable to process any information but in the meantime it's enough to keep me in doubt.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

The dude I live with will devolve, a parent will have to throw away my shit/belongings, it's scary, the waiting minutes after swallowing...I understand why some want it over quick.

 

[motel rooms]

I am still alive because I am my dick's puppet on a string.

me getting a girlfriend some-fucking-how (fuck if I know how). That would make suicide unnecessary.

Would being in a serious online relationship do anything for you? You're clearly a wickedly smart fucker, you're capable of being kind & I'm sure you're decent-looking (how ugly can a guy in his early 20s who says he was attractive at 17 get?); it's impossible that no woman will be able to relate to your struggles & find you interesting. Before you tell me to fuck off, remember that you told Makko to give dating a shot.

 

[Largeletters]

My parents, grandmother and other close family.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

My OCD compells me to continue my collecting obssession. There is no way I am going to leave all this stuff behind for my family. If I somehow lost it all in a fire, I'd ctb the next day.

 

[doesntevenmatter]

Honestly just the hope that things can change. I've been close so many times, and then things would get better for a while. They always seem to get bad again, but I just feel like unless you have a terminal illness there's always that possibility that things can get better...

 

[raison_d'etre]

as of now ive contributed practically nothing to society, i feel like before i die, i need to give something back from where i came

 

[Killia]

I've recently been made aware that my best friend of many years has BPD and that I am their designated "favorite person." Though things are rough, I don't know how bad it will be for them if I kick the chair, and I would never want to be possibly responsible for triggering someone else's suicidality. I also have to take care of my father who's been starting to have some medical issues. Once I'm sure that the loved ones in my life are okay, I think I'll finally be content with carrying out my plans, as long as they've been delayed.

 

[one.way.out]

The hope that things will get better. Right now I don't want my family to be sad, but as far as I can tell the beliefs that things will get better / caring about how my family feels tends to wax and wane, so I'll probably be over it at some point.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I am still alive because I am my dick's puppet on a string.


Would being in a serious online relationship do anything for you? You're clearly a wickedly smart fucker, you're capable of being kind & I'm sure you're decent-looking (how ugly can a guy in his early 20s who says he was attractive at 17 get?); it's impossible that no woman will be able to relate to your struggles & find you interesting. Before you tell me to fuck off, remember that you told Makko to give dating a shot.

I already gave it a shot, and I have no way of giving it more shots at the moment. Online dating doesn't work for me and I don't have friends. Tbh, even if I knew a bunch of women I would most likely just never make a move.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

I'm not compelled to stay, but rather I just chose to put everything on a pause, or very slow motion.

My life finally fell apart 8 years ago, and I completely lost hope. My family supports me financially and gives me a place to live, and so I just live mostly as a neet ever since. I live one day at a time and I just do whatever I feel like doing, most days I do nothing. In those 8 years I've managed to learn a lot about myself and more. The internet was my window and I had all the time in the world to observe.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Family in the house. I could wait for a time where they all happen to be out of the house, but I'd rather get my own apartment so I can have the privacy to ctb, I don't really want my family to come home to my corpse.

 

[motel rooms]

I already gave it a shot, and I have no way of giving it more shots at the moment. Online dating doesn't work for me and I don't have friends. Tbh, even if I knew a bunch of women I would most likely just never make a move.

We have more in common than you might think. I can really relate to your desperate yearning for intimacy. I can be kind & generous in the sack & all that, but I've never truly made love to anybody. I've lived with guys, but they weren't really my boyfriends, we were just roommates who had mostly animalistic sex. They knew they weren't allowed to ask me anything about my childhood & parents, why I always have to be in control, why I get so many "splitting headaches" & pop so many Xanax. Nobody will ever love me because I can't afford to open up & be perceived as a victim. Nobody wants to get fucked by a victim, every man knows that.

 

[Callie Arcale]

Nothing. That ugly three-headed beast is all that stands between me and eternal nothingness.

 

[Downbylife]

All forms of art and (pop)culture. Want to experience new games, new music, new shows, new movies and so on

 

[ClownMe]

My dog.

 

[JU.]

the fact that I have worked so hard to be as I am: handsome, cultured, poet, with a good job as a literature teacher. But the recent break with the woman I loved, and a melancholy that has always accompanied me, no longer allow me to enjoy anything. On the contrary, what used to give me pleasure now wounds me to death, in particular literature and poetry.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I'm in too much pain. I also find my existence utterly useless. I don't see any point in anything. I absolutely hate this life and this world. My death will probably hurt some people, and I don't want to leave my kitties, but I don't think I would be here, if I wasn't scared of what lies beyond and the fact, the lights are gonna be out for good….

 

[suisuiforum]

I believe that for myself it is ultimately SI that manifests in different ways depending on my emotional state. At my worst, I mentally have no qualms about permanently ending my life, but a more visceral fear of failure and becoming a vegetable unable to attempt again along with the physical drive for survival would be the strongest deterrents. On good days, even when I'm not necessarily happy but fine with existence, I simply have no motivation for suicide because the benefits of death do not outweigh the potential negative consequences during those moments, although there is always a faint but omnipresent inkling at the back of my mind reminding me that the crash and burn is just around the corner. I still consider it to be SI because on those days, I would not mind peacefully lying down and never waking up as long as I do not have to forcefully effectuate my death, since it means I would die (somewhat) happy.