C

CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
Ashley my love,
Who are you?
What have I become,
When did it all go wrong,
Where did I fuck up,
Why was I even born,

Was I truly born in this world,
To be lonely,
Isolated,
Or miserable,
Or was I really born for you?
I dream this to be true,
I want that to be a memory,
Not a nightmare,
But a reality,
We call that craziness,
I know, but to me you were worth it,
Every pain and suffering that we went through together,
No more games no more suffering between us,

Either one of us,
If I can't see you in my dreams,
Or in memory,
Or nightmares,
Or reality,
Then why shall I live?
Should I just die,
And commit suicide,

Or shall I live again for us,
Am I really that important to you,
Because honestly Ashley you mean everything to me,
It is not that I just miss you,
I love you,
I am just afraid of not getting my act together for you,
I gave up on vaping,
And I'll try to stay away from drugs,

I don't see that far into the future like you do,
I want to get engaged,
I want to get married,
I want to have kids,
I want to get old with you,
I am sorry for destroying everything that you know and love,

The fort,
Leaving you in the woods with that ball gag,
And destroying everything as we destroyed each other yes I deserved it but everyone had blood on their hands,
For all the pain,
That we shared,
And all the tears that we shed,
If you really don't want me in this world,
Then fine I get it I won't kill myself,

But I do want to see you again,
But since I don't think you care about me,
Anymore,
I am ashamed and guilty for all the past ills that I have done to you and also forgive you all,
For the ills you have done to me.

But maybe I should let someone just kill me,
Ashley please call me 815-904-0424,
You know I want to remember correctly but I think it is too late because I know I am in the Ashley who phase.
 
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