Venting As it comes, I go.

[princessdepression]

These days, nothing is in its right place for me. Even death. It used to be I felt no guilt ending my life, now guilt swells in my chest and I wash it away with alcohol. Ever since I got out of the hospital my family is ignorant to the fact that I'm still drowning and giving up, for I do act very well.
Everyday I wake up to my regrets, and they torture and taunt me. I'm full of despicable secrets, ones I'd never share. And at the age of 19, I am fully exhausted. How does one live with their own burden? Or even expect it respectable to even tell a soul that burden, burdening them as well? There is no way out. I am trapped in hell and I will be trapped in hell when I leave here, I am so devestated. I am so lost. Someone anyone, please, I wish you could take the pain away.
I beg for love and sweetness to come to me on a daily basis, the kind of love that makes you focus on nothing else. I'm tired of being drunk alone, being depressed alone, wishing for human touch. Wishing for someone to treat me like a fragile object, caress my head and say I'm here. But there is no one. I am trapped alone. No one to die for me or me for them, no one to die with me or let me tell them of my wish for death without making them panic and look down on my selfishness. Why am I still here when it's so painful

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

You've taken the thoughts out of my own head

 

[emgrl]

These days, nothing is in its right place for me. Even death. It used to be I felt no guilt ending my life, now guilt swells in my chest and I wash it away with alcohol. Ever since I got out of the hospital my family is ignorant to the fact that I'm still drowning and giving up, for I do act very well.
Everyday I wake up to my regrets, and they torture and taunt me. I'm full of despicable secrets, ones I'd never share. And at the age of 19, I am fully exhausted. How does one live with their own burden? Or even expect it respectable to even tell a soul that burden, burdening them as well? There is no way out. I am trapped in hell and I will be trapped in hell when I leave here, I am so devestated. I am so lost. Someone anyone, please, I wish you could take the pain away.
I beg for love and sweetness to come to me on a daily basis, the kind of love that makes you focus on nothing else. I'm tired of being drunk alone, being depressed alone, wishing for human touch. Wishing for someone to treat me like a fragile object, caress my head and say I'm here. But there is no one. I am trapped alone. No one to die for me or me for them, no one to die with me or let me tell them of my wish for death without making them panic and look down on my selfishness. Why am I still here when it's so painful

I just want to wrap you up and hold you. I can feel the hurt in your words. I'm here, if you ever feel like talking. You're not alone, hun ♡

 

[princessdepression]

I just want to wrap you up and hold you. I can feel the hurt in your words. I'm here, if you ever feel like talking. You're not alone, hun ♡

you're too sweet. Thank you. <3

 

[flightless bird]

Someone anyone, please, I wish you could take the pain away.

This was really hurtful to read, I'm so so so sorry for whatever you're going through. Please listen to some music or something, get your mind off things. Much love to you.

 

[emgrl]

This was really hurtful to read, I'm so so so sorry for whatever you're going through. Please listen to some music or something, get your mind off things. Much love to you.

How does music work for people? Just makes it worse for me

 

[NoLightRemains]

These days, nothing is in its right place for me. Even death. It used to be I felt no guilt ending my life, now guilt swells in my chest and I wash it away with alcohol. Ever since I got out of the hospital my family is ignorant to the fact that I'm still drowning and giving up, for I do act very well.
Everyday I wake up to my regrets, and they torture and taunt me. I'm full of despicable secrets, ones I'd never share. And at the age of 19, I am fully exhausted. How does one live with their own burden? Or even expect it respectable to even tell a soul that burden, burdening them as well? There is no way out. I am trapped in hell and I will be trapped in hell when I leave here, I am so devestated. I am so lost. Someone anyone, please, I wish you could take the pain away.
I beg for love and sweetness to come to me on a daily basis, the kind of love that makes you focus on nothing else. I'm tired of being drunk alone, being depressed alone, wishing for human touch. Wishing for someone to treat me like a fragile object, caress my head and say I'm here. But there is no one. I am trapped alone. No one to die for me or me for them, no one to die with me or let me tell them of my wish for death without making them panic and look down on my selfishness. Why am I still here when it's so painful

I wish you didn't have to feel such pain. I hope you are able to talk out some of your burdens if that's what you wish. It might not fix much, but talking can make what troubles us feel a little less heavy.

 

[flightless bird]

How does music work for people? Just makes it worse for me

Depends on the choice of music I guess, at least in my case. Some songs can literally kill me but blues or jazz usually calm me down...

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds so awful what you have to endure, it must be really tiring feeling trapped in that situation with no real relief. Existing can certainly be painful. I wish you the best.